astaro
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Everything posted by astaro
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sounds to me like she's using you as a cruch and feeling guilty about it.
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i agree, in my eyes there is absolutly no way to justify cheating. even if you assume a long term marrige and people want to try something difrent (hell, it happens) i would expect my partner to come talk to me about those feelings. in a short term relashonship.... i just cant find a way to justify it.
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out of my expirience the best way to do it is to have her "cup" the tip of your penis with her hand when you finish, most of it should stay in her hand which she should be able to clean easily with a piece of tissue. also the cupping of the tip during orgasm is pretty fun to boot
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anyone have any tips on how to move on? my job is pretty much a joke (work 5-10 hours a week) so i have loads of free time right now, cant get an extra job cuse i plan on starting to study for my psychometric at the end of march. allready took some courses a while back in psychology and business managment but got really bored with it. i dont really have any hobbies and all my friends are pretty busy during the week so i am most likly gonna be spending a lot of time alone till thursday. as it looks right now i am gonna be spending most of the week staring at her online status in MSN i wish i could bring myself to cry, or feel pain, but i am just blank, i wake up and do stuff i need to do but dont really think or feel anything through the day (other then her face/voice in the back of my mind constantly) i miss her so much what i wouldnt give for a hug right about now.....
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do you know what his personal status is? if i had to guess i would say he is either involved and dosnt know how to let you down (or involved, likes you and dosnt really know what to do). or he could allways just be interested do you see this person regularly? do you feel any urgency to make a move? if you see him regularly you could allways just give it time. you could also just ask him out and get it over with one way or another instead. you havnt mentioned anything that might make me believe you have something to loose (if you work with him for instance things can allways get messy). rejection sucks (especialy if you've never hit on guy directly before) but its better then sitting their wondering if something is gonna happen or not. my 2c anyway
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that kind of thing is sooooooo indevidual. when you talk to her just look at her, see what she does, how she moves..... for example if her entire body is in your direction that shows she is into the conversation and is closing it to others, on the other hand if she's looking at you while talking but her body is turned away that usualy means she is "open" to have someone else join the conversation. but if she's on the computer while talking to you for instance i wouldnt put to much into where her body and face are aimed. keep in mind that body language changes a lot in situations so dont take this at face value, its just an example of something you could notice. watch for eye contact, try to notice if she is asking a lot of questions about you, does she appear to be enjoying the conversation or is she trying to pull away? there are no rules about when the right time to ask is, personaly i am pretty blunt, if i am interested in girl and get an initial chanse to talk to her (i totaly suck at walking up to strangers) then i will usualy just ask her out and if she sais no move on. though considering it is a work situation i would probebly talk to her a couple of times before asking.
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well, your easiest aproch is probebly starting off with a work conversation. you know you have that much in common, from there try to pick up on personal details she brings up during the conversation and spin the conversation that way. if she dosnt bring stuff up i would try using stuff on her desk as a sign for what to talk about, for example if she has a stuffed cat on her desk you can start a conversation, but i wouldnt say something like "so... you like cats?" which sounds insecure and a bit like your trying to force a conversation, ask her if she's more a cat person or a dog person, thats usualy a good conversation starter
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sounds to me like he likes her and gets so flustered around her he freezes. if i was her i would ask him for a cup of coffee, might allways get rejected, but you'll never win if you dont play.
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if your really interested in this girl show up at her house with some hot chicken soup women melt for a guy that will take care of them when their sick usualy
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not all relashonships can be healed. very often relashonships brake because people wernt compatible, trying to make each other feel better will often cause a great deal of confusion for atleast one side who might think you are working to get back together. i think the main reason NC is so often recommended is because after a brake you need to be able to take a step back and look at things objectivly. when we are in a relashonship we are all as blind as bat, cant see past the love. and i think thats where the main benefit of NC is, it gives you chanse to take a deep breath, and think clearly (atleast to some extent) about you have gone through.
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i dont know, really hard to judge but if i was in your showes i would probebly be a hell of a lot more suspicius then you are. if he would have intreduced you to the girls it would have been another story. but considering you've never met them.... sounds odd. do you know if his ex had any reason to accuse him of cheating? has he ever spoken to you about it? Edit - if i where you i would ask to meet them, tell him you love him and that you think seeing them and talking to them will make it easier for you (give it some thought though, might have the opposite outcome for you). watch for his reaction, if he's doing something inapropriate my guess is he will try to avoid you meeting them, if its fully platonic i dont think he will have a problem.
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i have never had any kind of reaction to lube or to condoms, i havnt used a condom in like 6 years but as far as lube and women are concerned i have never seen a women having any kind of reaction to it. if you need it and end up buying some i recommend spending a little extra money and getting the good stuff, its much better all around
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finally, the independence I wanted???
astaro replied to singingnotflying's topic in Breaking Up Advice
i havnt really gone through it, but i have seen my mother and father split up and my mother left alone to deal with a 10 year old (myself) and my new born sister. my memory of that entire time is rather scketchy but i can tell you she fought hard in the beginning, but within four years with some help from her mother she managed to actualy buy a house aswell as have a very good secure job (which she has still). lives in a good neighborhood in an above avrage life style. its not going to be easy, but for the sake of your baby and yourself i am sure you will find a way to make it work. as for the fear, nothing you can really do but tough it out and keep going (wish i was able to listen to my own advice sometimes) Edit - well, there is one huge difrence between the life you used to have and the life you are about to have. you have no choise right now other then to pick yourself up, and start improving yourself, you will surly have to make sacrifices (sending your son to day care for instance) but i bet your son is worth the hard work best of luck to you -
go work on choppers, i think you will get a lot more satisfaction out of it plus it will help you in your civilian life afterwords. army expirience is really valuable in industry in israel and it will make your life a lot easier in the future. plus, if you have the option of saving your mother the grief of you being in combat i think that would also be a plus
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a friend of mine's boyfriend hung himself from a tree near my house. this was 5 years ago. this girl hasnt dated once since, she can brake out crying randomly in the middle of situations, she got to the point of anti depression pills her self. do you really think your wife deserves to live the life you are trying to escape?
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i dunno, i feel like i have been an * * *, i can think of so many reasons for her to hate me, and she's been such a sweetheart about the whole thing. i know its most likly just me being hard on myself but meh.
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i gave her the last of her stuff last night. told her she should move on with her life. she gave me a hug and said happy birthday, we both cried, then she left. i am really affraid that she wont move on, though i have no real way of knowing, i know she is very much inlove with me but i also know she isnt stupid and knows that moving on is the right thing to do, we had a long discussion about this and basically agreed that for whatever reason we where making each other unhappy. makes me sick to think of her with another man, especialy considering she looks great and even when we where together i had to fight guys off her with a GD stick. my NC officialy starts today.
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well, i made another post about this yeasterday but i dont really think its relavent, i am starting to realise that the reason i am having a hard time with this brake up (which i iniciated) is because i have absolutly no idea why i did it. i cant really put my finger on what went wrong, it just stopped working. she is such a sweet girl, heart felt, caring, smart and she really does love me. i am completely lost with this entire thing, dont even know where to start
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i can only say what i know from my self but if i was saying those words it would most likly mean i am putting to much meaning into something that dosnt actualy have that meaning. a lot of times we spend way to much time thinking of things we should just ignore.
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did i try to please her?! ofcorse i did, i went through articals with her, bought her toys, sugested all sorts of things, pushed her to go to therapy about it (she's 22, if she dosnt do something about this soon it will just get harder and harder for her to deal with it), pretty much tryed everything i could think of.
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i am not sure if what i am feeling is regret or just fear of being alone, of being out there again, i have had issues with abandonment in the past so its really hard for me to distinguish between them. she's great, she is having a really hard time but we havnt been in contact at all this week other then the talk on sunday, her coming to get her stuff (which was quite a lot) two days ago and then today i SMS'd her to tell her i found some more of her stuff of and wanted to see when would be best for her to drop it off. keep in mind this is our third brake up and things havnt been good latly plus we both know each others thoughts on these kinds of things and both agree that staying apart is probebly the best thing either way, atleast for now. i wouldnt say it was mutual i was the one who brought it up, my main reason was feeling like i had nothing left in me to keep fighting, keep trying to make it work, i think we spent more time in our relashonship trying to make it work then actualy being succefull. on the other hand she was allways aware of my thoughts and dilema's and she did vocalize that she thinks it might be the right thing, but its still early, hasnt even been a week yet, Edit - what i learned is an easy one, i got my ability to trust a woman back. the ex before this one left me with huge trust issues.
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well, been trolling these forums for a couple of days now reading through posts and thinking about what i have been going through. i broke up with my girlfriend of two years on sunday, i am 25 years old (well, actualy i will be 26 tomorow). this is our third time splitting up. our problems started about 4-5 months into the relashonship, i started feeling unwanted mostly due to the fact that she hardly ever initiated sex. i am a very open minded guy sexualy, willing to try just about anything atleast once. our first couple of months where a lot of fun, tryed stuff, fooled around, but it all kinda withered down. i am not sure if it was her having problems with initiative or if i just grew distant and wasnt accesible to her. i will mention though that she has never expirienced an orgasm, she went to therapy for a little while about 6 months ago but didnt stick with it. didnt do the excersises and stopped going after around 2 months (around 5 45 minute sessions). as the months passed i slowly got more and more frustrated, more and more distant. coupled with the lack of initiative on her part and it all really started straining on the relashonship, we spoke about it several times and she made several attempts to initiate more, my problem was it never felt real, she allways initiated once within a day or two of our conversation and then things just went back to the way they where. we've allways had communication issues, i.......... kinda got stuck and have been staring at this for a while trying to figure out what is it that i am trying to say. i guess what i am trying to say is i am trying to figure out if i have done the right thing or not, been in a lot of pain this past week. i am trying to figure out what should i be asking myself right now? what kind of questions would lead me to the right answers about all of this?
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why is he being this way?
astaro replied to cubsfan's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
all i have to say is keep doing what your doing. sounds to me like that relashonship was never "ment to be". for whatever reasons it didnt work and i am guessing you two just wernt compatible. stay away from him, maintain the NC. i think your going to be just fine
