kevind345

Alright thanks a lot, im going to think long and hard about it, and most likely thats what i'll do, i have been wanting to sorta giver her a shocker, like really make her think "alright this is it hes going to be gone now, do i want this?" but things have been going well and i didn't want to spoil things i guess, and it seems like the contact is helping, but in the back of my mind im thinking "am i just lingering here in the background until she meets someone else or something? Anyways we went out for 2.5 years shes 19 and im 21. On the night of my birthday she confessed with out me even asking something like "I have spent time with someone and held their hand and sorta went on a date, but it was nothing like when im with you" and she was real convincing about it, and was very sorry. It seems she hasent hung out with that guy for awhile now....so idno i guess shes just still all confused. When ur gf broke up with you did she ever say things like i miss you or i still love you and everything is right between us, but something is holding me back, and act all affectionate towards you if you saw her? anything like that?

My gf broke up with me 1 month ago, the excuse: "i need time/space i dont know anymore and i just want to be sure. The first week I begged for her back and bla bla, 2nd week i didn't contact her and let her contact me, after that week she was like you don't ever call me? and your just fine with that? So that kinda messed me up and the 3rd week i begged for her back some more and tried NC and told her i was going to shut her out of my life for awhile, she didn't seem happy at all and 2 days after i told her i wanted NC, she calls me and leaves a voicemail "call me back please this is just weird i want to talk to you please kevin" (in a sad voice). Next week around my bday Feb. 20th she insists she wants to see me and hang out with me on my bday. We made some dinner and it was nice had a good time she was touchy feely and wanted to sit on my lap, later in the night one thing led to another and we had sex, for the next day and 1/2 it was like we were together. Then we had a talk and she said maybe you should just forget about me because i still don't know, so of course i was like wow hmm...then she went onto to say she wished when we were making love that i confessed my love for her and told her how bad i wanted her and bla bla, and idno if she was saying all this because she was so lost in her head or what. So once again that messed me all up and the next few days i wrote her sweet poems and stuff to show her my love, she said wow these are some of the sweetest things youve ever done and said. One time on the fone a few days after my bday night, i said bye to her and she said "thats it just bye? if you want me so bad why dont you tell me things?" so i say okay "i love you with all my heart and i miss you terribly, and she says i love you too. The next night i go to see her and she dosent want to see me, so i go up to her dorm and knock on the door(she was with this guy and a few of her girlfriends) and she basically seemed like a different person and more or less said i dont think we should see/talk to each other again for awhile. So that brings us to the current week. Somehow we end up talking to each other, this past sunday i was on campus at the gym and i called her afterwards, it went right to voicemail, so i was like hmm she either broke her fone or its dead, but im here so i at least want to talk to her. So i knocked on her door she let me in and was very sweet and glad i came, she kept wanting to hug me and lay with me and sit on my lap and all that...i left after like 3 hours and then the past 2/3 days she has called me a few times(but she has no cell fone so she cant call much) and tells me she misses me and talking to me is like talking to noone else, and last night at 1am she asked me if i wanted to go get ice cream, I said yeah we had a pretty good time, but she didnt feel well, and that brings us to today..........So my big question what does this mean? shes just being friendly? like were friends now, or maybe she wants me back but still is not sure? So should I not see her or call her and maybe answer if she calls, or just let it ring and call back later, or continue to see her talk to her? because i can tell when we are together there is this aura around us and we just hug and cuddle and stuff, or should i do NC, and tell her "you dont deserve me if i run into someone amazing tomorrow im moving on" in other words let her know im not waiting and willing whenever shes ready to come back, and maybe she'll will get worried and realize she wants me back????? i dont know help me, someone shed some light please!!!

hmm alright no jealousy? well im still going to try and meet new girls so idno, but when u were apart from your ex did you talk to each other see each other? and why did she break up with you in the first place??

Also shadow, your a woman what do you make or her feelings and the whole situation basically, like what do you think the night of my birthday tells her? since she couldn't keep away.....and how she said she loves me so much and everything, what do you think is holding her back???? im just asking if you have any idea of whats going on here from her perspective?...now she did tell me everything was there but shes being held back and she wants to hang out with other guys and not worry about dancing with them and bla bla, and she was like i want to kiss other guys tho kevin. I was like wow thats messed up but i think she is saying like i wanna meet other guys kiss them maybe to see how it feels, so maybe its a good thing if she does?? but i dont want her too! ahh...okay ttyl shadow

Thanks shadow for the reply to my questions, and im doing exactly that but I WANT HER BACK so bad, please im so bored at times because i should be with her, like im sitting here right now, and im so bored because i should be with her, normally we would b together!!!! This is seriously the best chance of getting her back in the least amount of time...NC?....shes a girl real big on feelings, like she will think my feelings changed if i dont express them to her i think....so i feel like maybe in a week or two i should show her how i still feel, or maybe that would be a good thing and she would worry and think about it and what me back.......ON the other hand i have a strong feeling she wouldnt care that much if she knew my feelings for her changed cause shed think "oh well its for the best i guess".........yada yada......i just want my girlfriend back....and ive been trying to look at things from her perspective but i cant do it....i cant relate.....

I see a lot of yeses and i have to throw my opinion in also.......it is GREAT when a girl comes to me and shows interest, and if your confident and know your attractive, I highly doubt he would be rude or not interested. I prefer a girl to approach me much more actually ...because it always the traditional girls are hanging around with there friends just standing there looking good and we have to approach....

Shadow, im sorry i appreciate your advise and i believed in what you were saying i just didnt do NC and stuff because i felt i should live in the moment and do what i thought was right, I'm an idiot but anyways i did one last wrong thing and now im done, I had been wanting to write her a poem to show her how strongly i feel for her. Anyways I did that and sent it to her and this time im going to do NC and not tell her or anything like that.......but I have a few questions? 1. What if she calls me, do I answer?, let it go to voicemail? or what? By the way i deleted her from my fone.... 2. What if she calls, I dont answer and she says on the voicemail "Kevin i really need to talk to you please call me" do I call back? 3. What if she leaves a voicemail "Call me back please its very important"? 4. What if I run into her on campus, cause i dont know if you remember but we walk the same path at the same time Mondays and Wednesdays....do i try to avoid her, or not go out of my way and if i run into her just say "hi" and stuff and act happy and fine but not walk with her? or ignore her? (i wont ignore her so forget that) 5. If she would happen to show up at my apartment?? and obviously im not going to contact her in anyway starting today at noon Feb. 24th thanks for so much help!

Yes you are right, its the only way, shes getting it too good, I'm doing it, i may have said it before but now im really doing it!!! thank you shadow

Yea i mean i guess ur right, this is soooooooooooooooooo crazy, thought things were looking up then they go back to how theey were....just the way shes acting and saying things i feel like i have to let her know how strongly i feel about her....she was like if you want me so bad why didnt you do things and bla bla....but w/e im sure ur right and this contacting her and her contacting me will get me nowhere, and i cant even say i tried NC because it only lasted 3 days....im just so set on this girl idno and i just dont want to risk loosing her for good i guess.....but i mean whats going to happen is going to happen....i want to talk to her every second..............you dont know how thankful I am for helping me through this situation! honestly thank you, i mean i know her feelings are there i know she wants me, i just talked to her yesterday and she asked if i went out at all, and i felt like she was interrogating me and she was like "were you checking out girls and dancing with them and bla bla" so i know there is something big left in her for me just because of her jealousy and how we were on my bday, i just dno wut her problem is but i honestly believe she will be hung up on me with everything she does, so i feel she will be back...i will be hesitant to take her back but i will prolly end up doing it because this girl has a something over me there is something about her shes the one...........

Yeah thats crazy, but all that happened and then the next day she still just dosent want to be with me right now but she wants keep me in her life and i want her in mine until she figures it out she just dosent think its fair to me which is true....so yesterday she was like we're not going to see each other or talk to each other...but we talked after that and i let her know how i reaaaaly felt, which i had not done and that bothered her, so i did that and we came to the conclusion that we should not see/talk for like a week or more cause we deff need that time, especially her to see what its like.....so idno wuts really going to happen now, cause we both agreed that NC is not going to change or help anything............maybe this is BAD decision let me know...?!

Thanks shadow, but wow do i got something for you now..................so yes yesterday was my birthday i allowed her to see me, she really wanted to come over and be whit me, eat dinner, and she had a gift, I never ever expected what later happened. We started out normal having fun and stuff and then we were eating and she kept touching me and everything then after dinner she got up and sat on my lap........the point im giong to make is that the whole night i was pulling away because what ever was going to happen i only wanted to happen by her doing. So then she knew my legs were really sore because i havent lifted in awhile and i just did a few days ago so she was like ill stretch them and what not...so we did that for awhile, and i could tell there was something bothering her like the whole night (in the sense that she was holding back), so then she jumps on my bed and just lays down and eventually i came over and i was like i could give you a massage if you want, cause you made me feel really good.......bla bla i was massaging her and one thing led to another and it was like the greatest feeling in the world for both of us(she told me) and we started kissing and making out and i was like maybe i should take you home i dont wanna do something wrong, and she was like yea me either maybe i should go home, but neither one of us were going to stop because everything was so right and passionate and w/e so we ended up having sex and it was the best every im pretty sure....then after that we were talking and we were bascially back together. she was telling me how she had been spending time with someone she thought she liked and when she was with him and holding his hand it felt like nothing it was nothing like when shes wiht me, and we were just having a great time and talking about everything and she was so adamant when she was telling me that she feels nothing for anyone else its just me. Ever since we started kissing she was like confessing her love for me repeatedly and how she missed me and can never think of making love to anyone but me. So the night ended good too she kissed me goodbye and i went out to a bar whit friends, she wanted me to call her when i got back so i did and once again everything was great, I woke up at like 930 and she has class at 10 so i called her just to say hi, and once again everything was great(like we were together again).......then i hadnt heard from her all day today so i called her at like 6 and left a voicemail "idno what ur doing maybe you dont want me to be calling you like this but im on campus and if you didnt eat dinner yet i wanted to see if you would like to eat with me?" she calls back then and says im sorry i didnt call i did want to talk to you i just went right to the gym after class and then to eat and didnt get back to my dorm till like 6. So were talking and shes like i still dont know though, last night was amazing and i love you soo much but something is holding me back (by the way the whole time she was here and when things started to get serious we made it evident that we still werent back together) so i was like okay so i know but are you saying you want to go back to how we were the past 3 weeks or keep seing each other and see what happens?, and she said idno what do you think we should do? and i was like well you broke up with me, i want to see you so idno and then she basically came to the decision of "lets go back to how its been the last 3 weeks" and she kept telling me that she wishes she was sure cause she wants me and she loves me and noone is like me, but there is just this something holding her back, and i have been trying to tell her i feel like thats just in her head, and its really just nothing but the natural insecurity that everyone thinks about....but i dont know. Then she said to me on the fone i guess you should just forget about me, cause i keep making everything harder for you. So i was like whaaaat how can you say taht and then she said i didnt mean that i dont want you to forget about me but ....bla bla im so lost now............ * * * do i do now???i apologize for the long post mayb its not necessary but thanks for all your help this past few day i really apreaciate it........so now idno if i should go NC or go to see her cause i know if i see her things will be like were together but mayb that the wrong thing to do?

okay sounds good shadow!

haha thanks im about to go out soon, get my first beer at a bar, but yeah im confused idno what to think of it you are probably right, she lives in NORTH(Leete) and yea shes a freshman, im a junior.....i do also feel that part of this stems from her changing a little since coming to college like i feel that mayb she just needs to get that experience of being single at college and since its her first year and all maybe she just needs to get over that hump of "wow im in college" and idno maybe once she finishes this year things will work out wiht us idno? im thinking it will help her, having a year behind her and it would be extremely hard for us not to see each other over summer, cause we live 5 min apart and are friends with the same people and go the same places. So possibly the best time for us would be this summer if we stay apart that long and she dosent meet someone. Maybe were done forever i dont know, but i agree with what ur saying i just feel like today was VERY different from our whole time of being broke up and we had that like excitement of when you meet someone and you start to like them and you feel like they like you and you just have sooooo much fun together(if you know what i mean?) but i basically committed to hanging out with her tomaro evening and making some drinks and just hanging out....so im thinking i ll just see how that goes and if things get serious or something i will pull back...leave her wanting more, or if they dont go well then idno ill do NC more and see what happens.

Yea deff, as long as you wanted her back without a doubt, you HAVE to take is slow and let things roll or you may screw it up. But im happy for you, i have been like halfway with the NC thing also, cause i ran into my ex today by complete coincidence on campus, and I ended up skipping my class lol and talking to her and she was real flirty and touchy feely and like showing me her butt(clothed) and * * * *....i seriously dont know what to think of it, but what i do know is that we had an awesome time and were smiling the whole time and she was looking at me in this distinct way, and we had that excitement of when you like someone and they like you and your just always smiling at each other and everything is going great, like no pauses in the convo and all that....thats why i dno what to think of it, but anyways thats nice to hear you got what you wanted.....i honestly also believe that we will b together, but i dont know if thats just me convincing my self cause i want it so bad? Also i have been really thinking I need a girl, i need to find someone that i like even if its just friends, cause right now i dont even talk to any other girls, so i think that would make her a little jealous maybe and have her think like wow he might find someone else, and it would also give me some excitement or w/e but id feel bad for the girl i dont wanna use her. But thanks for replying so fast.

Hey lostlove; I agree you need to give them space, let her be, my friend has the same problem and his gf broke up with him for a lil cause he was going crazy and calling her too much and not giving her space to sorta be on her own but also be with him if you know wut i mean? But i am just curious how you got your gf back? Mine just broke up with me 3 weeks ago, and I feel like things are getting worse, I'm just curious about ur situation, maybe it will give me some hope?