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SummerGirl38

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  1. SummerGirl38
    They will get easier hon, you know that and the day will come when you look back and say God, I have a great guy now, why did I ever let that idiot get me down? But for now just keep thinking of all the hurt he has caused you. If that makes you cry, then let it out and cry. I think BeStrong had some good advice, block him from texting if you can. It will be so much easier if he's not so in your face so to speak all the time. Or how about this idea, I had this Ex who did the same thing to me, he cheated, and I lost everything. He would still call me months later, just to check up on me and my life. He would flirt and I would flirt back, basically because I still loved the guy. I hated him for what he had done, but deep down I was still his sucker. Pretty soon being I was single I gave in to him one day and ended up meeting him for lunch (he was still living with the same girl he dumped me for) well, let's just say the attraction was still there and we ended up playing house again at the Best Western. He told me all kinds of things like he never should have dumped me for her. I was right for him. Asked me if I could get over some of my issues from the past, I said probably. I thought great, I stole my guy back...WRONG...I was just a piece for a few hours, he had no intentions of ever getting back together at all, he just knew we always have had a sexual connection with each other. So about a year ago he called again, wanting to hook-up and I informed him that I was back together with my High School Sweetheart and I was more in love than ever. I told him he would have to find someone else to be his (another name for prostitute). HE HASN'T CALLED ME IN A YEAR. Create a man, make him a good one, make him big, tall and very jealous. Not only will this eat him up because you have moved on, it will also show him that you could now care less about his petty texts. He'll give up! Take care, thanks for the update, I was worried!!
  2. SummerGirl38
    I thought about you as I was driving home Friday Broken, felt real bad for ya. Are things any better the last couple of days?
  3. SummerGirl38
    Not trying to be mean but I think I might come accross that way. Your post really got to me. I am at work and after reading it I had to put the work aside and respond, couldn't take it anymore.... So let me get this straight, you cheated on your wife, lost your soul mate to another man, decided you would check out on your wife so to speak by injecting yourself with something lethal and now you feel your penance for all of this is death? Wrong, your penance is LIFE. You have made a promise to your wife to love, honor and cherish til Death do you part. You obviously haven't loved her, you haven't honored her, you haven't cherished her and now you are going to spend your dying days trying to take care of her because you feel it is your moral obligation? If you have one ounce of love for your wife you will get off of this "I want to die kick", try to see if there is a cure and once and for all, let the woman go and find someone who does love her. What a thing to tell her friends.... My husband cheated, his lover broke his heart and he decided to kill himself over it. God I hate kicking a guy that's already down, but I just can't stand to see someone who wants to take his life over the loss of a lover. There isn't one person on this forum who has not had their heart broke in one way or another by someone they loved and guess what? WE LIVED THROUGH IT AND WE ARE ALL STILL HERE. I'm sure more than half of us can now look back and say it was for the better anyway. I hope I never have to get my heart broke again in this lifetime, but if I do, I chose to LIVE through it and not break the hearts of people who do love me. My wish for today is that you live through this, get past it and you and your wife go on to find your own happiness with or without each other!
  4. SummerGirl38
    That's the right attitude gf. I guarantee you, the pain WILL fade.
  5. SummerGirl38
    I can relate real well..... Twenty-One years ago, I was 16 and in love with my boyfriend. Him and I got engaged and wanted to get married once we graduated. We were both working and already buying furniture for our new place two years ahead of time. My Mom liked him, BUT, did not like the thought of her daughter getting married at such a young age (normal). Once she had seen how serious I was about this marriage taking place, she did the old 360. She completely hated him, she even threw the dozen roses he gave me in his face one day and told him to get out of her house. She found a note one time that said we would run away and get married in another state since I couldn't get married in Ohio because I was still a minor. Then I spent the next few months in complete lockdown. We ended up breaking up and I gave the ring back. We went on with our lives. Down the road through mutual friends we would always ask about each other. Either he was married and I was getting divorced. Or I was getting married and he was getting divorced. We could never get our timing right. Until June, 2006. Him and I finally got our timing right and have been back in love ever since. So the moral of my story is, you are an adult and in love. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. To me, it doesn't sound like a case of the bad boyfriend. Choose who YOU want to be with and they can accept it or they wont. Read my thread Titled "Propose or leave it alone" under marriage/Long Term Relationships (sorry I don't know how to send a link to it) and see how happy my story turned out. I guarantee you will love it and might be able to see this a little more clearly. Psst (Now my Mom keeps asking me when were gonna tie the knot this time) She loves him!
  6. SummerGirl38
    God I know it hurts, but why would you want to be with someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you? It just wasn't meant to be or it would have been. Honey, I've been there. I know it kills you inside but don't put those thoughts (them in bed) in your head. Put on your band-aid and go out now, go shopping, go see some friends, talk to us, just do something with yourself and get your mind off of that picture in your head. What comes around, goes around. Hopefully she's giving him something as we speak. HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR TEARS. There are so many other men out there. When my Ex cheated I looked at it as a way of starting over. Going out, meeting new people and finding that one true love. If he doesn't love you, atleast you can thank him for setting you free!!!
  7. SummerGirl38
    You answered you own question here. If you ask me, you have the right answer. In my book it's just like the saying goes. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You are with an emotionally abusive person. YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW, YOU ARE HIS WIFE. Why lay down and be someone's door mat? If you ask me, you and I have the same illness, it's called too-good-itis. If you don't respect youself here, how can he respect you? You can only make your own decision here, but if it was me, I would show him the door!
  8. SummerGirl38
    Yes, I agree 110%, next thing you know they're bunkin up.
  9. SummerGirl38
    Aww Thanks Gus, I try my best!
  10. SummerGirl38
    Damn right!!!
  11. SummerGirl38
    That's because they fit better in our purses than in their pants. No, in all seriousness I always tell my bf, if another skirt catches your eye and you wanna go for it, I'll open the door for you to go!!!
  12. SummerGirl38
    As a one time divorced woman, I can agree with you to an extent, BUT... What about the people (such as myself) who agree that it's only a slip of paper and they go on to live with someone, pretend to be married and have actually been screw'd worse than any divorce in history when the relationship ends. I have had this happen twice to me. We weren't married, didn't need the paper, but we lived together. These two break-ups hurt me more financially than any divorce ever could have. I just got out of a relationship where for financial reasons we put our money together to pay the bills. It wasn't until I came home one day and asked can I get some money out of the bank to go get my haircut and he said "No, "we can't afford it" that I went and got my own checking account. I had just put a nice, hefty paycheck in his account two days before and now I can't have $10 stinkin dollars of my own gd money? I looked around and thought "Well, he just went out and bought a new Demolition Derby car to beat up this weekend", there's new parts, new plates, new tags. His daughter who was living with us just got a pair of new jeans. Hmmm..... So I got my own checking account and chalked it up to a lesson well learned. After that, our relationship grew to where there was nothing but fighting and I decided to split. That's when the hell began. I left and moved in with a friend. He became a person I had never known, (he was nuts) and did some very ugly things to me. I had to get a restraining order against him so I could collect my belongings from "my own house". He actually would not let me come there and get my things without threatening me with bodily harm and we were both on the lease. Once I was finally back in my own house collecting my stuff (It was basically all mine) what do you think he did? HE TRASHED IT AND WHAT HE DIDN'T TRASH, HE TOOK. One lesson I have learned from that experience is "Don't pretend you are married, if you're not". So while I agree with you that it's only a slip of paper, I still have to ask how you are supposed to treat a relationship where you forget the wedding? I mean aren't you supposed to give your all to these kind of relationships as well. To death do you part, for better for worse, In sickness and health? DO THESE THINGS NOT APPLY TO THE RELATIONSHIP WHERE A COUPLE DECIDES TO FORGET THAT RING AND PAPER? Quite honestly I can agree with you but I have also been on the other side of the spectrum. I have to say, I would get married 5 more times before I would ever decide to live with someone and financially "pretend" to be married. At least that way my assets are covered and it goes to the court to decide, not some jealous Ex boyfriend.
  13. SummerGirl38
    First I have to say you are way to pretty to have a jealousy problem, but since you do I'll let you in on my philosphy of it all. I had the same problem at one time with a particular ex of mine. I was convinced that he couldn't be faithful. I would accuse him, check cell phone calls, do drive-bys when he told me he would be somewhere to check his story. There was one time I accused him of going to church to hook-up because he always talked about a particular girl there. Heck, the man had not been to church in 20 years, why did he want to go back now? As it turned out he did cheat and it literally rocked my world. I lost everything. Him, My Step-Kids, my dog, our business, my house, most of my belongings that I had before him, I let him ruin my credit. I lost 25 lbs. and I only weighed 120 at 5'5 before that. What killed me the most is not even two weeks before he put a certified diamond on my left hand and told me that he knew I was the one he was supposed to spend his life with. He went out and bought me a couple hundred dollars worth of new clothes this same week. I was jealous and I guess with good reason, but still, I NEVER SEEN IT COMING!!! Why the ring?, why the clothes?, why even say that he was supposed to spend his life with me? WHY THE H E double hockey sticks play someone like that? I thought to myself "Well Summer, you believed what you wanted to believe. You fell for the lies that were probably told to throw you off of his cheating scent. Since then I have thought. (My philosophy) You can't make anyone love you, If a person sets it in their mind to cheat, they will. You will not be able to stop them, they will find a way. Trust someone until they prove they cannot be trusted and (the biggest thing that stops my little green monster right in his tracks).............. I have had my heart broke before and survived when I didn't think it could be done. I have went on to better days with a wonderful person that I can trust. If he ever breaks my heart, I'll put on that band-aid and go on, because it obviously wasn't meant to be, but until that day comes, why kill myself worrying about what "might" or "might not" ever happen? I think I give my all and if that isn't good enough for someone, so be it. Don't let the door hit ya on your way out. P.S. Do you know what woke me up the most to my whole situation. It was when I talked to his Ex-Wife (who he had also cheated on). I told her he had cheated and she actually said to me... Duh Summer, he cheated on me, he cheated on Mary and now he cheated on you, "Didn't you see it coming, she asked?
  14. SummerGirl38
    Well Scout he's starting out in basic obedience training, this right now is enough in itself. I know you of all people can laugh at this one.... The other night I tell Riley, "Ok, Rie time for bed ". He's laying in his little doughnut bed in the living room and he looks up at me like "yeah right Mom". So I get up, pick up one edge of his bed and try and coax him out, hoping he'll atleast stand up (he's heavy as a ton of bricks), but Nooooo, he backs up and digs himself in deeper. My boyfriend is sitting there and in this strong, firm voice. He tells Riley, "Riley, get up and go to bed". My dog actually jumps up like he's been shot, immediately walks to his cage, gets in and lays down. Me? I have to run around the basement for 10 minutes trying to catch him and when I finally do I have to shove his little butt in there with both hands. All I could do was laugh to myself. I've tried that firm voice, but Riley knows I'm just a big sucker. So for now, I just want him to learn, I'm boss. and by the way Scout, it was you who helped me tremendously through all this. THANKS!
  15. SummerGirl38
    and just another short note to thank all 96 of you for your replies, yeah they hurt and God did I cry but it woke me up. Sometimes you need that. Sloppy dog kisses to all of you, thanks again Riley & Summergirl38
  16. SummerGirl38
    Well let me say this.. There were 96 people who responded to my question? and in one way or another every 96 of you responded with pretty much the same answer. If that doesn't wake you up, nothing will and to answer your question, things are much better now. After reading about 10 of those responses I went home and confronted him, which he didn't deny. He admitted to spanking Riley for peeing on his punching bag and explained to me that this is how he was raised. I in turn explained to him that he needs to look at Riley as I do his daughter, like a kid, my kid and that I will not stand for any kind of abuse or I will split faster than he can bat an eye. I reminded him that Riley is "his daughters best friend" and if anything ever happened to him. He would be the one to tell her. I also told him that he needs to look at it this way and think how he would feel if I spanked his daughter. I would never dream of it, but neither should he. He told me Riley is bad and he needs training which I can agree. He also told me that it's not that he doesn't like Riley, but he wishes he wasn't so bullheaded. Riley is as stubborn as a two year old who's not getting his way. I'm happy to say that Riley is now getting that training he needed and is really catching on. My boyfriend even works with him on a nightly basis now and gets excited when Riley gets something new My eyes are still wide open, but so far, all is well. Thanks for asking
  17. SummerGirl38
    Well to answer your question Eva. I believe that once a person allows themselves to cross the line and cheat on a SO, it only says they have a character flaw about them. Meaning, It's too much trouble for them to handle the stress of trying to make their relationship work, so instead they cheat. They might go from relationship to relationship trying to find the perfect mate and decide until they find "the one", they can't stay faithhfu. Ex: This one does drugs, that one beat me, that one is not as good looking as this one. Oh, but this one, this one is perfect. Or the guy who says my girlfriend won't do the things "I like" in bed, so I'm going to go and hook up with this nasty girl and she'll do what I want. By no means am I perfect. I too have cheated on a SO at one time. No I wasn't married but the relationship was going south (I had already forgiven him for cheating once) so I booked it onto another guy once I had had enough. Wrong? Sure it was! Wrong, I know, but one of "my" major character flaws is that if the ship is sinking, I'l be the first to jump out, once I feel there's no turning back. I've grown up alot since those days and had to kiss a lot of toads. I know now that no relationship is perfect. Would I cheat on my current SO?, I'd be willing to bet my life, I won't. I know it in my heart. I've known him since I was 16 (I'm thirty-eight now) and honestly have to say I respect him more than I ever have any other man. We have a great relationship on all aspects. HE IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT IN A PARTNER! I also have had a case of turn about is fair play thing. I've been cheated on, lost my boyfriend of four years, my steps kids, the house, the business and it totally messed my head up. I've had to learn alot but what I know now is there's no need to cheat. If things start to go sour with Mr. Wonderful down the road, we have an agreement, don't cheat, just go. So to sum it all up I believe that a bad relationship may make anyone decide to cheat, (because who they are with is not "the one" obviously) but what they should really do in reality is just get out without destroying someone's life. Be honest and say, you weren't what I was looking for. I would rather hear this than have my man tell me, "You might want to see the doctor" because I cheated on you and may have given you something.
  18. SummerGirl38
    To agree with everyone else, (which I am sure you have already gathered) You are setting yourself up for a heartbreak. I truly believe that theory "once a cheater, always a cheater". I dated a guy like that guy for five years. They are Serial cheaters. They are not out to find the one woman who will give it to him, they are out to find ALL the women who will give it to him. It's like a contest, how many balloons can I break with my dart. It must be an ego boost or something. Trust me, I dated them all and after having my heart broke at least a good 3-4 times, I found the one I completely trust. If you are snooping looking to find something, it just says that you have no trust at all, so I ask you how it can be worth it, when you can't relax and feel at ease.
  19. SummerGirl38
    It may shock you to hear a woman say this but my philosophy on it all is this.... It doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. I personally don't see the difference between watching it on a computer screen or renting a video. Guys are visual people by nature. The sight of a sexual act just puts them in the mood. I really would not take it personal. For me, when my guy is watching something like that, even a dirty movie on HBO or something, it just means he'll be ready for me later. To me, it's a win/win situation for both of us. Hell, I just had an 18 year old kid hit on me the other night (I'm thirty-eight) because I was putting on lipstick in the rearview mirror of the car, who knew? I'm telling you, it's just the visual that makes them think about the real act. I wouldn't sweat it!
  20. SummerGirl38
    I'm probably going to be the oddball here but I have to say I have been in this situation before and I would crack her code. You don't honestly know if it is only an emotional thing if the guy is coming to your house. She is telling you that you are jealous and crazy. You are psycho is what my ex used to tell me right before I caught him red handed. I KNOW ITS WRONG, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, but sometimes you feel it, you know it in your heart and chances are.....YOU'RE RIGHT! Better to know now, than a trip to the Doctor and a bottle of penicillin later. Sorry to put it that way, but it's true. As warped as I know it is, that's my opinion.
  21. SummerGirl38
    I live in Ohio and the law for alimony here is... One year of alimony for every seven years of marriage, but regardless of that point. Even if you do have to pay it, to me, it would be worth it just to have some peace in my life. Well it sounds like you have your head screwed on straight over the whole thing atleast. Now you know what you want and what you don't want in the future. Just sorry you had to wear your dinner over it, lucky for you it wasn't hot soup, lol, (JUST KIDDING) poor guy! Furthermore, if someone threw my dinner in my face, I guess I would be greatful they are gone, it shows no respect and it's degrading. Sounds like you did the right thing Good luck to you!
  22. SummerGirl38
    I am guilty of the same exact thing. 1. I say it because I want my b/f to know I am not his ex wife (who has never had a job) used him to support "her" kids and then replaced him with another guy. 2. The fact that my ex husband used to tell me that I wouldn't be sh*t without him and his money when I had decided to leave him. Fact #2 really screwed my head up and I wondered at one time if he was right. Yes, I struggled but I learned that yes, I can take care of myself and I don't need to put up with b.s. This is the greatest gift my ex gave me, "My own self esteem".
  23. SummerGirl38
  24. SummerGirl38
    Please, Please, Please don't think I am trying to be mean here, I am only trying to make a point, TRUST ME, I AM ON YOUR SIDE.... I have read your other posts from a few days ago when you got into the fight with him in the grocery store. Honestly, not trying to be mean, but in my opinion the fight at the store was your fault. He told you he didn't want to talk and you still persued him, walking him to his truck and demanding that he talk to you, which forced him to be a sh*t. I've been there!!!! I know it blows when a guy cheats on you, but you are better off to know now than five years from now when you are married and have a couple kids together. Please forgive me for saying this but I honestly think your stripping episode in the bar was almost purposely done to get back at your ex for cheating on you. You knew his brother was there and would take that story back to him, telling your ex... "Do you know what your ex girlfriend did in the bar last night, she got naked and had all the guys looking at her". I think it just made it easier because you had some liquid courage in you. I may be wrong, you might have been drunk and gotten carried away and if that is really the case, you don't owe him shi*t for an explanation, he's the dog. But if I'm right, your stripping only made it easier for him to say, see, this is why I cheated on her. All I can say to you is I have been cheated on and yeah, I did some similar things as you did a few times, trying to get even, but one thing I have learned from that experience is just because my ex wanted to act like a snake, doesn't mean I have to, too. You are making you own self look bad by trying to get even and honey, he isn't worth it. You have to look at it this way, if an ex is going to talk about you down the road, make him say things like God, she was such a cute, funny girl, I miss her. Don't make him say things like, "God, my ex is so psycho, she gets drunk in the bar and strips, she even got naked in front of my brother, she must want every guy in there, I am so glad I moved on". Again, I am so sorry to put it to you like that, I know it hurts, but I have been there and I just see you doing things you shouldn't over somebody who really isn't worth it. Please don't hate me
  25. SummerGirl38
    but, his girlfriend so far, is not a known cheater. Yes I agree, hanging around a known cheater and a known chick magnet are two different things, but they are both temptations.
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