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chocojay

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About chocojay

  • Birthday 11/18/1984

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  1. i dont think your friend is doing this becuase its the hottest new trend, there must be a really good reason for doing something so shallow. Its not like she lied to you, she just probably knows the type of person you are, she knew that you may disown her as a friend and a person. We have no right to judge people and honestly i dont think that its right what she's doing either but she could be in more trouble than anything else, try talking about it without acting disgusted.
  2. Im about 5-6 weeks pregnant, im engaged to the father of my baby who is an absolute casanova! i tried to save this relationship but somehow he thinks having other girls on the side is okay. well today its a really heavy day, im supposed to go the doctor for my first check and he knew about it the whole week and only now, at this very moment he tells me that there isnt enough money in the medical aid for me to go! If i'd known earlier i would've made a plan! Well i know that the first weeks are the most crucial, thats why i worry. Last year we lost our daughter who was born at 28 weeks, she survived for two weeks. So this time i know that chances of having a good pregnancy are either / or, as my amniotic fluid was too little the first time. My doctor told me that it could happen again. Im scared and now i need to know whats going on. It was also contributed by my smoking which i should kick, i know. Im sad that i didnt go and angry that he didnt tell me in time! I want to leave this guy and im scared to go through this pregnancy, im starting to question if i should have it all. I wanted to move to Dubai and my plans were stopped because of this baby. It seems like if i dont that baby i could a lot of peace! Any advise?
  3. Sometimes the problems of the world or far beyond our own understandings our emotions, too overwhelming to try to deal with. I know that if you take your problems and put them in a bag, take them to Church and say,"Lord, here, deal with this because i simply cant!", he will. I know that many dont believe but His power is greater than that of any man, not even Dr Phil. You will have a huge sense of relieve and it will help you find yourself in the process. As much as you may think its all bogus, trust me its not. I moarned the loss of my daughter and couldnt handle it becoz i thot no mother has to ever bury their 2 week old baby and i went to God and told him, im hurting badly and i dont want to feel this any longer, take it away! He did, that was last year September and now , im pregnant again and this one is also due in September. He does hear our prayers if we tell Him and let Him run our lives instead of trying to do things ourselves. We did not Create ourelves, we ALL (INCLUDING YOU) have one Creator, call Him what u like but He is there. He LOVES YOU! HE WILL TAKE IT AWAY, IF U JUST BELIEVE! PLEASE HEED THIS ADVISE! DONT LET LIFE SEEM LIKE A ](*,) 4 U BCOZ ITS NOT! You have a purpose here, we all do! As for your parents, He will deal with them. All the best i'll be praying for you. All my LOVE.
  4. I have a problem that is messing my life! I just cant seem to focus on ANYTHING! I cant visualise what i want to do with my life! I start to think of hundreds of things i could do but dont actually dream of anything in particular. I know i wnt to be successful and live VERY comfortably but dont knw how im going to get there. Its affecting me in such a bad way. I am very intelligent young woman and know i have the potentiall to be anything i want to be but, be WHAT? I feel so stupid because i'm in a difficult relationship i'd like to get out of but then i start to think what will i do with myself after that? I've NEVER known actually what i want to do with myself. I feel like my useful brain is lying dormant. Its VERY frustrating. ALL my friends are starting their careers while im STILL asking myself,"what do i want be when i grow up?" Its so embarrasing and frustrating! Please does any one know whats wrong with me? I've tried figuring out my passion, interests to avail! AM I MAD?
  5. Oh is it late? Im in South Africa and its 10:30am, im at work actually! He doesnt having a woman that stays up 4 him! U are gonna fine tho, promise. one step at a time...
  6. once a cheat always a cheat and there is no way that these guys are about to change and that is something will remain and if you let him continue to hurt u its gonna be a long long painful life! I caught him over and over and he blames ME for snooping in his stuff! Calls me crzy and i need help! Cnt help bt look so i know. But reality is, thats not the kinda relationship you want for yourself. Im having a baby with him and i gotta be a whole woman to be a good mom. i dnt need his stress! LOL Lets go get em!
  7. you are obsessed and are losing yourself in this dude. its not normal, collecting gum?..ick...its SO not normal...its strange, its like you are his biggest fan. You'll find that u dont actually love him but you have a space in your mind where he has taken over everything else and this is not normal human love behaviour. Seek help seriously or YOU WILL ruin a potentially great relstionship. He may thnk its "cute" now, not for long tho. You'll push him away. Its far too clingy,obsessive and you need to seek professional help or else you may lose him if this behaviour continues, its very dangerous. Good Luck! LOL
  8. I knw hw u feel, im in that boat myself. I did however realise that no one has the right to take control of my life simply because they know they have my heart. Its a very selfish and cruel thng to do. I know that there is a man out there waiting to take beautiful care of u, and u are not there because you are still tied to this loser! He does not deserve u and sweety, men will say they love you just to get in your pants. Unfortunatley we tend to believe them and thats our downfall. Surround yourself with positive people and keep your mind busy and you'll hardly think about him, take a jog in the morning to clear your mind then get into a busy day...sooner or later you'll think less and less of him, till u think of him no more. He has alot of growing up to do and as long as u realise that the issue is with him and not you, he has a problem, not u. Be selfish, take care of yourself and make yourself happy, i knw its hard but in the end u'll feel lighter and happier. U deserve only the best, have spiritual guidance along the way, its a long painful, difficult journey u'll need a greater power when the going gets tough. Be strong, trust yourself, know your self worth and be realise that u are beautiful, intelligent and no man is worth losing yourself over. Good luck! Go get em! LOL
  9. I dnt think its someting that u CANT stop doing, its something u WONT stop doing. Its a choice. If u really love your girlfriend u would stop doing this at once. I have a very flirtatious boyfriend and i tell you now that its thee most terrible thing to have, its disrespectful and hurtful. stop this behaviour at once or i promise u, ur GF will be out the door. U may thnk its cute, but its painful, selfish and disrespectful.
  10. i have a great support system and my family will be able to help me with the baby and i also have a job so i'll be able to take care of myself and the baby. I was looking for that push and see things from a different perspective from woman that are older and wiser and thats what i received, thank you.
  11. Hope you help me. Bin wit him for 5 yrs now. He's 28 im 22, we live n work together which puts a huge strain on us. I think he cheats on me badly. I've seen emails he sends to these girls, telling them how unhappy he is in his relationship. It hurts because after all these years u think surely he is able 2 address these issues wit me if he's not happy. He gets calls from girls and speaks really sneaky like, and when we get home from work he puts his phone on silent mode, eveyday. i found out last year that he had been seeing this girl from the other side of town and they'd bin having a really deep emotional affair. But he says that he didnt love her but his emails to her say otherwise. He says he was just being naughty with her! I know i should leave because its not healthy for me but somehow, him being my first makes it hard to think beyond him. There are about 4 of these girls and it hurts me so much. They are skanks, the easy type. He goes out with his friends every weekend without me now, says after a long week with me he needs time out. But even WE need our time during the weekend. Im nw a few weeks pregnant and havin lost our first baby, i know thats its a gift from God, but i also know that leaving will be harder now! At tyms i dont want this baby. I wntd to leave the country but now i cant coz that job wont take me with a huge belly! Im confused, ive become suspicious of everything, every call, im paranoid and insecure! I know its not healthy and ive become so mad that we become physical, its unhealthy. We are thinking of councelling. please advise me, am i just young and stupid? :sad:
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