shadow34
-
Posts
156 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by shadow34
-
Hey Twis Sweetie you really have to stop looking at her blog. She is intentionally doing this to get to you and its working because your looking at it. Dont worry about the substance of the message, its just words written on a blog which means nothing. Its not actions and Im sure its just cause she knows you will read it and think it will hurt you or feel sorry for her or whatever. Seriously, I cant figure this woman out hehehe!!! You need to start healing hun for you and for the children. You need to get out there and start doing things for yourself. Ive always worked on the philosophy that if you do one thing a day then it will slowly build up until the entire day is full. Hugs to you, be strong you really have to move past looking at the blog iuts only going to bring you heartache.
-
i found 6 girls names on his cell phone....
shadow34 replied to SeaBisquit's topic in Getting Back Together
Yes Yes I have to agree with most of the others. You cant go back into a relationship digging up the past. You have to start fresh...but it sounds like you just may be young, Im not sure of your age hun. Why on earth would you let him text your ex to say hes with you now. Thats cruel and immature. Considering a lot of us are the "dumpees" I would of thought perhaps you would understand the pain caused by breaking up and to get your new boyfriend to message him, No way thats just rude, disrespectful and hurtful. Im sorry to sound harsh hun, but Im sure Im not the only one who would have that opinion. As for the relationship, you really have to stop this jealousy. I know its really hard and you may feel its warranted but it will be the demise of the relationship if it continues, and that goes for both of you. It would suggest to me that your inadvertantly playing games with your boyfriend. Perhaps your doing this out of fear. Maybe you are too scared to come out and say " look where do I stand and what are your intentions" and perhaps that could be the reason for these " jokes" as you would call them. Let us not forget that you cheated on him before, perhaps he is just playing it cool when in reality he is scared the same will happen again. Its worth considering. Sweety Im not meaning to sound harsh but I just feel it had to be said and its my honest take on things. I suggest sitting your boyfriend down and talking about whatever issues you still both have. Rememeber why you broke up in the first place ( not including your mistake ) and try and look at those things that broke down the relationship so you can both move on in a productive way. BUT..IF you two cannot talk about things, If there is no communication then my friend you can kiss the relationship goodbye. You have to put your pride and ego aside when it comes to being honest with each other. Let us know how you go and remember we are here for you Hugs -
Hey Dev How are you feeling today??? Your sense of humour is coming out in the thread, nice to see hun. Hope you are feeling a little lighter in the heartache department. Now, I dont have to *bonk* you today do I ... Hey Shiva Thanks so much for your kind words. I am devasted about my woofy but such is life. Im just making the most of it while she is still here..she gets to sleep on the bed with me anyways Well guys Im doing well myself, Have my down days but overall I am not really thinking of the ex
-
"When we see problems as opportunities for growth, we tap a source of knowledge within ourselves which carries us through."
-
Congrats to you hun, hope it all goes well... Just one thing though, I dont think anyone can judge if someone is experiencing true love or not. I dont think it is right to assume that because it is only based on your opinion and not factual. So I did find that comment could be a bit offensive to those whom may be questioning themselves.Of course, your intentions were of the purest I realise that what is true love?? Well we all have our own interpretation...so for those who are in love under 3 months or 3 years, I dont think qualification comes into play... Love is something we experience in our own unique way....you dont have to qualify at all for true love...its just something you feel... Hugs and good luck
-
Hey Dev Chowie, what kind of dog...??.. You would be needing a visa to come to Australia hun, so start saving lol. DO YOU REALISE you didnt mention your ex ONCE in your last post....Dev MY MAN, YOUR THE BOMB!!!!...remember that Shiva, my dogs name is Shadow hehe and yes that is my baby girl...poor thing has cancer so dont know how much longer she has, vets cant do anything more. Shes not crying in pain so as long as she isnt I wont have her put down yet. As for circumstances, I never bring my work home, and I never bring it into the relationship. Its funny my partner ALWAYS does lol. They throw it in my face which sucks. As for life, life is what you make it all of that aside Im just as normal as everyone else, infact probably a little worse off ( NO NO thats psychiatrists)..hehe
-
Hey Twis Thats the attitude, your THE MAN!!!! you go with this fantastic outlook, youll have down days hun but you and your children deserve soooooooooooooooooooooooo much better.... Im sure she loved you in her own selfish way and she will definitely miss out big time, but she just doesnt "get it". Do you know what I mean by that...only two words but they mean a lot...some people never get. You stay strong and remember we are here for you, good and bad... hugs
-
BIG HIGS DEV...YOUR FANTASTIC REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey Shiva I know exactly what you mean with your puppy, I still call mine a puppy even though she is very big... hehehe!!! and there is nothing better than snuggling up to her. When Im upset she snuggles in close and they just know.....she so much better than a man ( NO offense DEV!!! )..shes also a pig who eats every thing given the chance.... Each day gets a little better and you have your relapse day and then you come good again.... Its very difficult for me...Just because Im a psych my friends forget I have real feelings and emotions just like they do and that when it comes to myself, you cant apply your own therapy to it. So it is a little hard sometimes for me, my friends just say well you should know what to do...which really sucks, Id like one of them to actually just treat me like a normal person and give me a hug... Ok ok enough of MY whining hehe Dont worry DEV, YOUR THE MAN REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Hey Twis Sorry, got your pm when I was getting my sons lunch, hope I didnt make you wait too long. Im not really sure what you exactly want me to address for you but Ill give it a shot. As for the children, I just wanted to know where they fit in , in all of this. People under estimate children and their ability to understand and know what is going on in our world. I thank you for sharing that information with me. As for leaving them with your mum, its done dont bash yourself up over it.There is nothing wrong with a break now and then. And there is nothing wrong with making yourself happy and learning to love yourself. But if you cant do that without your children around then Id be addressing that issue. I know its hard, we all get caught up in that feeling and just want to be with that person. But children are very perceptive and 10 months to them is quite a long time. Its enough time for them to know whats going on and to become attached. I think you have handled the situation quite well. As a woman, Im extremely selective whom my children meet. In fact they dont. I was with my ex 15 months and I didnt have him interact with my boys, it wasnt stable enough. So the fact she just seems to put her children in all of this is a little disturbing. I am really sorry. but I do feel she has other issues and is playing with your emotions. You dont need this hun, you have children to raise and Im certain they dont need her instability. I dont think she is wanting to be together, I think she is after what she purely wants and doesnt really have any respect or care about anyone else feelings in all of this. Putting that message up was nasty and spiteful and completely un-necessary. Shows her level of maturity. I wouldnt even bother responding to anything more of hers and try and not even go and look. I know this has been so heartbreaking for you, But I do believe it is probably time to move on. She has caused you enough grief. Be strong hun, start doing something for yourself now and your children. If I havent addressed anything, please let me know Hugs
-
It was certainly meant as a compliment hun, and thankyou, everyone here is a god send. This really is a place all of us can call home hugs
-
Hi Shiva, Thats very true, if she does indeed love him she will call and time certainly is the healer of wounds. Dont we know this I wouldnt send her flowers though. He has said all that he needs to of said and I dont feel he needs to say anymore. She is playing games with him and he has had to put a stop to that for his own sanity. She knows the score, she will be able to make her mind in her own time Im sure of it. And Dev has let her know he cant just take her calls whenever she feels like it, its too painful. Dev, youll be fine hun, your doing fantabulous
-
LOL...your funny hun Glad to see your on a more positive note today, its nice to see. I know how your feeling and I really do understand. This will give you time to heal hun, to re-evaluate your relationship and your feelings. It will also give her the time to do the same. You didnt say anything out of place, good on you. As for being a therapist , I am a psychologist but I dont advocate that on here at all. This is all based on my years of experience and the heart ache Ive endured. Hugs hun, keep posting and we will keep supporting and listening to you .
-
I rarely get upset in front of my boys, but when I do I explain it to them afterwards ( not the details ) because I think its healthy for them to know showing emotion is ok... But what makes me feel so loved is when Im having a cry and I tell them not to worry Im just getting these feelings out and Ill be fine in a minute, they come up, give me a great big hug and tell me " Dont cry mum, no one else can ever love you like I do"... and they are so right, children have the best unconditional love there is!!!
-
Hey Dev So your saying that your ex cheated on her ex boyfriend with you???? Thats the impression I get, correct me if I am wrong??? You did fine hun, I dont think you blew any chances at all. The fact remains though, she is questioning you about your ex's and your email addresses etc. This seems a little ironic. She doesnt want to be with you but heck she is being overly obsessive in my eyes about this "friendship thing". I cant speak for her, but Im glad you said what you felt you had to say. Now dont contact her and the rest is up to her. Take this time to work on yourself, to heal and become that whole person inside. No one else is responsible for your happiness my friend, you must find this within yourself and I have no doubt you will. If she cant respect your descision that you just cant be friends yet then thats not your problem. You dont need to explain anything more to her now. There are no what ifs here. You are simply making it known that your not going to be on the side line, with her picking you up whenever she needs you and dumping you off when shes done. Because thats what she is doing. Keep strong, and now move on and find that happiness. You have to try and cultivate that strength and get active and put those emotions into other areas of your life. Hun if she really does love you, she is going to be back....but the last thing you want to do is have her come back when she isnt ready... Time...will tell and it will, it is the most accurate of information and the best healer. Hugs
-
Hi radiohead , You said " I am going out with someone who i like but i'd rather be with her." Before I give advice, are you single like your post said "now that Im single again" or are you still dating this girl???
-
Well Said GQ, and you sound like one of those well educated, decent men out there if I say so myself.. I think people seem to have this misconception about medication, especially for mental illnesses...heck people even hate calling them that, but thats what it is, its nothing to be ashamed of. I am not an advocate of medication without just cause and when properly diagnosed, and in the case of bipolar the difference can be seen for sure and the person has a whole new grasp on life. My friend, and clients of mine I have seen go through so many different meds to find one that works and I would have to say they are all doing really well.... You could say unfortunately my friend wont be able to come off the meds...but I say thank goodness, fortunately the technology has allowed us to develop these drugs so that those that are affected can have a shot at a more productive, happy fulfilled life... I blame, in Australia the lack of funding, although that is about to change for mental health services. I also blame the government as I think education is the key to developing the young adults of today and thats something we steer away from. Sure the government will throw money into "crap" ( thats all I can think of calling all that meaningless waste of money", but when it comes to the people they dont give a hoot!!! Im glad your brother is doing good hun and your ex well its very sad but like i say, " you can lead a horse to water but you cant hold their head in and drown them Thankyou kindly for sharing your personal experience, Im sure it will help a lot of people understand that there are people who will love you for you out there and that there are caring individuals such as yourself whom give up their time to respond to those in need. Hugs
-
You are absolutely right.... That stuff really does your head in !!!
-
MY friend I still, Emma, eva and anyone else .... Here is a place you are not alone. One of my best friends is bipolar and has been diagnosed ever since she was 16, she is now 35, we have been friends for 23 years. She had a string of relationships after relationships that never worked out...basically a lot of the guys just couldnt deal, well I would actually say couldnt be bothered being educated enough to realise that people with mental health problems are just as capable as any one else, they just have more work to do. She is now married to the most fantastic man on the planet. She cannot have children because it is adviced she doesnt because of her illness and is a fantastic surrogate mother to my two boys. I have raised my children they are 12 and nearly 8 to be well educated in mental illness. First of all cause that is my career and second of all I want them to grow up with a healthy respect for people. They love going to the psych ward and visiting all the supermans and wonder womans...lol...children are so beautiful and innocent...when my friend has a relapse and has to go in..my youngest says" Auntie Jane, have you lost the plot again" and it is meant whole heartedly. Emma, your ex wasnt deserving of someone as special and beautiful as you are. The only thing is you have to believe in yourself and that you are truly wothy of a decent loving relationship. The right man will come along for every woman on this forum experiencing heartbreak and any decent, caring, loving and PATIENT man would stand by you and learn all he has to , to support you with whatever your needs may be. So chin up, give the ex as my children say "the rude finger" and just you wait someone spectacular is really going to come along and make you feel like you are wonder woman !!!!! Hugs to you !
-
Hi Twis Before I give my advice, may I just get some clarity on the situation concerning the children. While all this going back and forth was on where were the children in this, did they hear or see any of it? How old are they? How long all up were you together ?... Sorry for all the questions hun but it helps me get the edge of the situation Hugs
-
I used my internet security to block any space address, I deleted the programmes he used and blocked his emails. Pretty hard core stuff and it means I dont have access to my friends sites, but they are my friends, I can talk to them whenever I want and its a small price to pay for a clear head. I didnt want to do it but forced myself, when I get the urge I write in my journal.... Or you could just break out the good old chocolate mmm does the trick everytime for me Its really hard I know, but it will pass in time ....
-
First of all of *bonk* on the head to Dev and he knows why hehe!!! Secondly, while this is an immensley exaggerated story, of course it happens sometimes in life, not usually with break ups. I know the rule of NC, but my personal view is, If you have things left unsaid, If you feel you have to tell them something then do it. One letter isnt going to kill them and if it does well atleast you said all you needed to say... However dont call them or text them, because when you try and get the words out...hands up if they have ever come out the way you want them too *DING*...never.... So NC is about healing yes and it can help resolve issues where time apart is needed or other influences or factors contributing to the breakdown of the relationship..but it is not set in stone... So if you left on a bad note, or you never told them you loved them, write them a letter, say all you need to say then thats it. You have done your part and god willing it doesnt happen that something like this would happen. Hugs
-
Hi Hun No, I wouldnt reply at all. She cant dump you, leave you hanging and then just expect you to have a friendship with her at her beck and call regardless of how the situation might affect you. Thats just plain selfish and disrespectful. Dont allow her to manipulate you by saying you are friends with your ex's etc. I am friends with a couple of ex's, the other you couldnt pay me enough money to even look at them...it all depends. The fact that this is breaking your heart doesnt help to hear the person you long to be with tell you, Oh lets be friends. Basically it comes down to this : " Generally when you dont know what you want, you dont want what you've got" If you really must, send a text message saying... Im sorry, I am not able to maintain a friendship with you at the moment but I look forward to the possibility in the future. Please only contact me if you wish to work out our relationship. I know your gonna say what if she never calls...Well If it were the other way round, loving her as much as you do, would you never call???? I dont think so, if someone wants to be with you its just plain and simple. Sure other factors may come into it, thats exactly where the NC comes into effect that it gives that person the time they need to realise either way. No one wants to be hurt by anyone and shes doing a good job of hurting you without seeming to have any worries excepts for her needs. Its tuff love I know, but its really the only way your going to find out if she is true to you. And you sound like my friend you give her all the love and support she could possibly need, would you want to settle for someone who cant give you what you need???... I hope this helps, your doing really well, Im really proud of you not answering its so so hard I realise that. Turn the phone off, check nothing, sit back watch a movie, go for a walk , eat some chocolate hehe or something, Just put it out of your mind, if only for an 1/2 hour at a time and build it up day by day Hugs hun Georgi
-
I need help fast..I don't know what to do.
shadow34 replied to flower99's topic in Suicide & Self-Harm
Flower I would print it out and absolutely give it to her, been in that situation many years ago myself when I was 17, that site saved my life. Its amazing, its as if they are speaking straight to you, I cry my eyes out still everytime I read it... Also they have a group called the good samaritins you can email for support. Just remember my friend, when they say they are ok it doesnt always mean it, just keep that in mind... Hugs hun, what a fab friend you are -
THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71
shadow34 replied to SuperDave71's topic in Getting Back Together
Hey Parsley Hrmm never heard of that chocolate....but our cadbury easter egg chocolate is out already and its soooooooooo yummy ... so so so so yummmmmyyy hehe! -
the effect of law of attraction
shadow34 replied to toonicegirl's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
hehehe too nice You know me, Im a firm believer in LOA, there are NO coincedences my friend , Do not doubt....