martiniolive

hey nilli I can relate to you too girl. I thought you were talking about a guy I was seeing a while back...LOL...I had to do the no contact thing no matter if he text messaged me late at night when he was drunk..haha or if I saw his missed calls on my phones...no responding to e mails etc. It was hard but it was clear to me that I was "convenient" he really "enjoyed me"...thought I was "fun"...lol....not saying you were..but I was clearly a door mat. I accepted what little he gave me and I wanted more and he would always give me hope by telling me, "I am not ready for that...right now but I could eventually change my mind".....I changed my mind thank goodness!

Thanks GQ. Cyberchick, I am a good comunicator with him and would let him know when his comments & criticisms were received negatively. He just does not seem to be the kind of guy that is going to/capable of much change. My mom & friends blame his culture (he's middle eastern) and he says he is very different from american men as well, but i refuse to generalize like that. To me men are men people are people, some just refuse to change or adjust themselves...I know others who are with middle eastern men (I am very attracted to that look) and they are very nice guys. Ironlion 85...LOL..exactly! He must be looking..right..you know he did crack me up when he said that to me, but afterwards I am so self aware of not looking that I can't enjoy it anymore..I guess I just enjoyed him so much I loved watching him or looking at him as I kissed him..even makes me weak now thinking of it...LOL...I'm a sap..I will miss some of him but yeah..there are too many other NICE men...

thats exactly what I think..I did stop seeing him, told him I did not think I was the girl for him..and that he is way too critical of me...I just keep thinking about it and getting madder...haha...I am going to do that no contact thing...He is a very prideful man and from another country originally so it took me quite a while to figure him out and understand his nature. He asks alot of the woman he is with and I wasn't sure I could deal with it for along time but he grew on me....also I find him very attractive...darn chemistry anyway

We had been dating for 8 mos and I wanted us to be exclusive, he always became jealous of me going out with other guys anyways telling me I would never find anyone as great as him etc... (he dated other girls too but I didn't want to hear about it.. ..after about a week of contemplating he decided we should be exclusive. But than he started criticizing and picking at me like never before! He had always teased me jokingly in the past and I accepted it as the way he got a laugh but now he was telling me I should dress differently, that I wore clothes that made me look short (he hates the flared jeans etc..). than he said I needed to act classier (ugh!) I look classy I just did not behave in a way that he felt was classy at times, he started making fun of my tone of voice saying I whine when I am upset and that I sound nasally (he'd immitate what he felt I sound like )...but the straw that broke the proverbial camels back..LOL...was about the way I kiss him....he used to tell me how he could kiss me forever, how he loved my lips, I was going to be the death of him...blah..blah...but after becoming "exclusive" he said I keep my eyes open when I kiss him sometimes and it's weird...LOL...now I am self consious everytime we kiss.. I don't even want to date him anymore....It's like he drove me away it's so weird

Thanks you guys! Your awesome..Lot's to think about and it is great getting so many different answers. Now I can see why I have been feeling so confused... points from all of you. I feel soo much better having gotten this off my chest!! He's off on business until the end of the week but after he comes back and gets rested and it's appropriate I will see where we are going....or not......LOL.....Kisses...Martiniolive

Oh I am sorry guys I think the way I worded my message is giving a wrong impression. I am the one that wants to be exclusive with this guy. He isn't ready for that (at this point) and we agree'd to see other people until we decide otherwise. I am assuming that he is doing the same since he is the one who suggested it although I don't ask him about what he does when he isn't with me. And I would not enjoy seeing him with other women but I would have to accept it. I just get mixed messages from him I guess, as though I am being tested by him. He does not want to be exclusive, but makes me feel strange about seeing other guy's like I am doing something wrong even though it's his choice. Is this clearer. I guess I am becoming impatient with him because I can't tell if he cares about me or is using me for sex. I feel too emotionally invested and feel like I need to get out if it isn't going anywhere and he seems too comfortable in his Independent world. He says we are good together because we are both independent, don't need each but choose to be with each other. etc...but I don't want to have separate everything and just hook up occasionally, which is what it feels like to me. I have discussed this with him and he says he can get laid every night of the week if he wants, but he wants to be with me. So why can't we be more than we are? See my confusion....How long is too long to wait for someone?

Batya33- he say's he's just curious who I go out with. thursday he called me at 5:30 and I was having a manicure so couldn't talk to him much. Friday at 12:30 lunchtime I was on my way home from a DR. appt 2 hours from where I live and he called me again asking what I was up to. When I told him he started laughing and said "couldn't you find a doctor closer to home"? are you sure you weren't at some guys house when I called last night and now you are just on your way home 2 hours away? He must have been burned by some girl or something...I don't know it's just annoying...

I have been going out with this guy for 8 mos. We are not exclusive. We are having sex and have strong chemistry (sexual and making each other laugh etc.) with each other. I see him one night each weekend and occasionally another evening after work during the week, we never hang out during the day, even if spending the night together. He is a very independent guy, does alot of things alone even traveling for pleasure (sometimes he will go with a guy friend on his vacations). I have gone on one vacation with him a 3 day cruise. He asks me all the time if I sleep with other guys I date (which I don't) and seems bugged if I go with another guy to places (restraurants etc) that he and I frequent, as though we are a couple. He says if he see's me with a guy he will come up and kiss me infront of my date. I interpret these comments as his caring about me or being slightly jealous. The problem is I want it to be more, I don't care to date other guys but do so to keep some emotional distance to protect myself from becoming clingy and driving mr. independent away. I am so frustrated and some of the guys I date are great, but I can't get past Mr. Independent...I tried breaking it off with him a month ago and he disreguarded me and I caved and went out with him again...LOL...I'm his .......Martiniolive