brokenhearted86
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hmmm well as we speak someone just asked me to go out with them sometime i just told him that i wasnt ready to go out just yet and i was sorry. I dont know why it is they come running the minute im single. Seriously does this happen to ne one else, guys can u smell single on a woman, lol??? Why does this happen everytime it seems
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True.. that is a good way of doing it right now. But how do i say no to ppl later on down the road when i am over my ex. People who are nice to me that i just have no interest in dating. Its easy for me to be a witch with a b to the guys who just come off as perverted and you can just tell what theyw want from you. But what about the guys who play it nice, but ur just not interested. How do u say no in a way that doesnt seem.... witchy, with a b lol.
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My boyfriend and I just recently broke up (by recently I mean like a week ago). We were together for 2 years, with the exception of a 8 month "break" a year after we started going out. Everytime i become single again for some reason its like guys can smell the single on me or something and come at me immediately. Im not healed from my break up yet, I dont want to date anyone right now. I know how to say no to the jerks that just come on way to fast and in a rude way. But how do u turn down someone that is completely nice to you, in a nice way? I always get myself into jams with this one because i have a problem with saying no, not because its what i really want to do, just bc i dont like to hurt ppls feelings, and most of the time it only comes back to bite me in the butt. Anyone have any suggestions?
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My issue with the constant NC advice
brokenhearted86 replied to jordan1234's topic in Breaking Up Advice
I completely agree that it is healthy to talk to an ex. NC is a little extreme in my opinion. Especially when its someone that you hold so close to you. My boyfriend and I just recently broke up and he wants NC but we have still been IMing or texting here and there, and i feel so much better when i talk to him, even if its a hi how are u conversation and thats all it still makes me feel so much better than forcing myself to not talk to him. Because honestly I love talking to him, he has always been a friend of mine and i couldnt imagine life without him in it at all. I think forcing yourself to not talk to someone at all only hurts more. At least thats how i feel about it. -
thanks. I really hate that i have taken so many classes already that aren't required but i really would like court reporting. Id rather get a degree in something that I like to do.
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Ok... so I started college the fall after I graduated highschool which was in 2004. I changed my major at least six times in that year. Well I dropped out for a year to try to figure out what I wanted to do (and because i moved out of my parents house and lost my financial aid) and I decided to go back for business administration. I am already taking the classes required for my major and my mom mentions court reporting to me, is know being offered at my college, which is something i really think i would enjoy doing. I am scared to change my major again, all the classes i am currently taking are not required for the court reporting and im afraid that I have wasted my time and money. I dont want to keep backtracking. I should already be graduating, its just a two year college. Should I make this move or should i just stick with what im already doing just because it would be easier.
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well i want to thank u all for ur input. Since my ex posted, (i didnt know he had an account on here) i browsed through some of his past post and it seems there was alot going on in his head i didn't know he felt. Or was serious about. So i just wanted to let u all know that i appreciate the help, and i think that from reading his past post and what ppl have had to say about this situation i can close the book on it and move on. While i know there will still be hard days and im not near healed i know the reasoning behind it all, and i only hope to learn from it all, and become stronger because of it. again, thanks all who posted.
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My GF avoids confrontation. big time
brokenhearted86 replied to basic999's topic in Relationship Advice
I think that you should have told her how you felt and not been so manipulative. Don't test her feelings. Tell her how you feel. -
he is right. Im not trying to "sugarcoat" anything I just simply don't go into so much detail. I didnt ever just say "hey its ok for u to go out and have sex with other girls" i just simply didnt tell him how bad it hurt me because i felt like the reason we broke up is because he felt like i was too controling. I didnt want him to think i was trying to tell him what to do. I tried to be super nice so he would see how much i cared. he is a great guy, and he hadnt been with ne one else, so i wanted to give him his space but i didnt want to lose him either. I shouldnt have done any of the things i did. I went about it ALL wrong. I realize this. And yes i have been "smothering" him I just worry that something could happen to him while we are having NO CONTACT and that i will have to live with thinking about what might have been if i had done things differently for the rest of my life. Its just hard, and as angry as he is that I keep messaging him, calling etc, i wish he would understand that this is not easy for me, its going to take time for me to heal. Its hard going from him being my everything to NOTHING. Im trying. I respect him and he deserves to b happy. And it is time for us to move on. We have both made mistakes, and I brought it all on myself. I should have listened to him when he tried to help. Im a very weak person. He makes me stronger. I never should have lied. I realize all these things. Its mostly my fault. He also continued having sex with me while he was having sex with other ppl, i let this happen. I understand where he is coming from completely, thats why i say he is not the jerk that it seems. I know he cares, but i also know what the reasoning was the first time we broke up, and im afraid that is what is happening here. Which I shouldnt worry if it does, because meow is right, we dont agree on anything and neither one of us is completely happy, so its just time to move on. there is nothing that we can do. I appreciate all the help and advice.
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maybe u are right. i didnt mean to get snappy or ne thing its just i see sides of him no one else see's everyone thinks he is so horrible, but he has always been right when he has told me not to do something that it was wrong and would only hurt me, i never listened. Im not perfect. He hasn't done anything, that i haven't done. Thank u for the advice. Maybe i just need to stop worrying about everything and take the time to think and time to cry.
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I hurt him, he hurt me. Im not innocent either. I don't want to hear how big of a jerk he is. Because he isn't. He may have some things he needs to work on. He may not always be right in the way he see's things. But none of us are perfect. He just wants whats best for me. I know him. It may not sound like it. But he does. He is very protective of me. Not to b controlling, he wants me to make my own decisions. But I always seem to make the wrong ones, he always tells me how i should handle things and i always do the opposite of what he says, and he always ends up being right, and then he can throw it in my face that i should listen to him.
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He isnt really as bad as he sounds. He says when he cheated on me it was basically already over. I always think if I had of been a better girlfriend, If I had of done this or that, he wouldnt have cheated on me in the first place. And if he had of never cheated on me, then i would have never been with the other two ppl and we would b happy.
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I trust him. Not as much as i want to, but he really is a good guy. He knew about me and his friend before we got back together. So why would he have even wanted to be with me if he knew he would never get over it. Why did he continue to b with me for six more months if it was just hurting him. I know I shouldnt have lied. He hates liars, so its partly that, and partly that he doesnt trust me. He thinks if i would do stupid things like that when we are apart I will do them when we are together. He also considers what I did to be cheating on him. That we were never REALLY broken up. If that was the case then he cheated on me many times. I dont know I do want to be with him still no matter what he has done. Because I have been thru alot and i understand where he was coming from when he did those things. IT hurt me but i know i love him and i dont want to dwell on things that i cannot change. And since all that we have both been faithful.
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we have been together for two years. which is not really that long but we moved really fast for a year of that two years we were together we lived together. i am 20 i will be 21 in april. and i dont know what caused the break up really. the first time he had cheated on me and wanted to explore. now he just says he cant get over what i did while we were broken up, we were broken up for 8 months i was with 2 ppl and he was with 4. now we have been back together for 6 months since all that happened and he just doesnt want to b with me ne more because of the things i have done. sorry about the foul language by the way. i didnt know another way to put it.
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Ok im new to this site but i really need some help. My boyfriend and I just recently broke up and in my heart i know its probably best because I love him but he is just never happy. I want him to be happy. As bad as it hurts to not be with him. But he does not want any contact with me at all. Why? We have always been friends and now i feel like im losing not only my boyfriend but my best friend. I feel so angry at him, although i know this is partly my fault. We were together for a year then he cheated on me, (although I never knew it at the time) and right after he did that he broke up with me so he could "explore" well we both were with other ppl during the split. Then he comes running back into my life all of the sudden at the wrong time, I had gotten drunk with a friend of his and things happened that shouldnt have happened. Partly due to the guy kept on and kept on pressuring me after i told him no and partly because im just not strong enough to know how to really handle a situation like that. Well after that i still didnt know how to tell his friend no, i didnt want to feel like a {Mod Edit} i wanted to like the guy to keep myself from looking slutty i guess. Then my ex comes running back into my life wanting to get back with me and i want him back too thats all i wanted since the moment we broke up, but i didnt know how to tell him about what had happened. And he asked me and i wanted to tell him but i didnt feel like it was the right time so i lied. well evetually the ugly truth came out and now almost a year later he says he just cant get over it. Which i somewhat understand, but he is not innocent. Its not like he wasnt out doing the exact same things. But he says its different, that guys can do that and its fine, girls who do it are just sluts. I want to be strong, i know we dont need to be together, but i need help. I need someone to talk to someone to help me thru this. I feel so alone, and so scared. And what should i do if he decides he wants to get back together again. How do i know history is not going to repeat itself. Do i just ignore him if he decides to talk to me? Im so scared and confused. All i wanna do is cry. Please some one give me some advice on how to handle this.