Guest97
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Can't you change your phone number and move to a new address so that he does not know where you are and has no way of finding you?
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It happened to me when I was 17. A guy who did it afterwards told me I was his GF NOW and he is going to support me and buy me a house. He had 2 children. I got rid of him and never reported it, felt sorry for his kids. I was never able to trust a bf afterwards - was scared of the same thing. I am training myself to be able to trust a man and not to push someone I love away from myself because of stupid feeling of being dirty or tainted, not like everyone else. I wish I had started reading all these forums before, I would have probably been a much happier person...
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Teardrops, I am with you. I feel the same way. No one can take my sense of self worth, selfesteem and self value away from me anymore - ANYTHING they do or say. I will fight for my right to be myself and not allow ANYONE to take it away from me.
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Any time I ended up in bad situation - I try to think about it as a bad dream, like it never happened. There is no reason to go over those in memory. I know we all do it and wish we had done things differently. Get yourself a hobby, do things you like to do with people you like and try not to think about all the troubles. It helps, really.
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By learning to love and respect ourselves we actually are able to give more to people who care about us. So, don't think that it is selfish to love yourself - it is not. I know I have to do it because it will bring happiness and better life to those who care about me. Selflove, selfrespect and care about oneself is a nessecity and not a luxury. I have experienced things that destroyed me, but always tried to put myself back together and think about it as a bad dream and not reality. So, put yourself together and do it.
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I think a lot of parents are the same way. They love you and want to hurt and bring you down for some reason. Just like men we love sometimes do it to us. I would ignore anything she says because you know it is not right. In general I found it is much easier and brings better results to ignore hurtful words from people as opposed to have any sort of reaction to them or try to argue. If they notice you are not paying any attention - they will not see any use in continuing to try to hurt you.
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For a lot of people it helps to get involved into martial arts, boxing or some other high energy sport to get rid of negative emotions. I have tried it and it really does help.
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I had the same problem with my ex-boyfriend. He was a very jelous person and I used to be kind of a flirt and liked attention from men (nothing physical). See, I really truly loved him but his anger and jelousy worried me quite a bit. I had a really violent act happen to me previously and since then wanted to make sure that it will never happen again. Maybe something like that had happened to your gf in the past? Maybe she just had a really bad experience and that is why she tried provoking your anger? Women do such things. When we broke up I started dating somebody else right away. My ex was very angry at me. Only after we broke up I realized how much we actually loved each other and how much we lost. It is possible for you to get her back if she truly loves you, but be very careful and patient.
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It has been 15 years for me. I only realized how bad it actually was when ended up destroying the only relationship I really cared about (as several others previously) I have no idea what to do with all these emotions. I am not even sure I can ever have a boyfriend again or I should even try. I think we all need to really concentrate on self control. Reading, taking yoga classes and meditation have been working for me lately.
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Thanks everyone for the advice. It is really helpful. I hope he can forgive. I am not trying to get him back or anything like that. I am just really sorry for what I did. Reading this forum and understanding of my own issues will definitely help me in the future either with him or with any other relationship. I will make a conscious effort not to screw things up and not to hurt anyone.
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I was in abusive relationship many years ago (a guy raped me in order to make his gf, I refused and ran away). I thought it was over then. Well, 2 years ago I met a man I fell in love with. Everything was great, but he told me the same thing that other man said - I was his gf. Can it be that the same words brought up a strange reaction in me? I started moving away from him, tried dating other guys. He could not forgive. I did not realize why I was doing it. But later I read a lot about violence and its consequences and wanted to talk to my bf to explain. He was so jelous and rude to me, did not want to listen at all. I did not realize why I was doing things I was doing - pushing him away because I felt so dirty and not worthy of his love. Do you think men can understand such things? Do you think it makes sense to even try to talk to him about it? Do you think he can forgive? I hate myself for hurting his feelings.
