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About KimNYC

  • Birthday 08/04/1972

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  1. I think you hit it on the nail. On our commute home we had a long discussion and I realized I had it wrong...He wanted what you want. I always thought he wanted more deep conversation, but all he really wants is small talk in a sense. Nothing too heavy. I fgured I can do that. But unlike his friends, I won't be able to do it non-stop...it's not my style and I think he understands this. The thing that bothers me with him ( and you from the sounds of it) is that you actually believe there is a conspiracy against you if you don't have what I call a "Yapper" running their mouths constantly. Like I am ( or your GF) hiding something or going to ever use the information I have against him. That must be a hell of a way to live. If you ask me that is an Issue that needs addressing.
  2. I have watched enough porn in my lifetime ( includes erotica as well). I've masturbated alone, with my boyfriend and he has masturbated alone... I don't think there is anything wrong as long as it doesn't substitute real person to person contact. I think some people become addicted and like any other addiction, it starts to control you instead of you controlling it. Whether it degrades women, I don't believe that, just because I have met pepole who have done it. Yes, there are people ( women AND men) who have problems that make them think they have to do porn ( drugs, abuse ect...) but I have also known people who do it because it's their job. That's all. They go, make money and go home to their families. I can't say I have ever been jealous of any woman in porn.
  3. LOL!! I do have friends to go out with. Which I do and he thinks I talk my a** off with them and not him...which is not the case because most times I am listening to them. It is getting frustrating...I don't want to feel like I have to come up with things to talk about with him... that's not realistic. As for wanting to know what's in my mind... I feel like telling him " Nothing is in my mind...I'm a total blank at this point" LOL!!!
  4. That sounds like a good idea! But I am not sure that's the kind of talking he wants to do. Like I said in my first thread, he likes to talk to his friends (mostly women or guys like him) who seem to always have drama or problems or who are unhappy with their lives. I am not like that. Yes, there are things that could be improved ( including my BF), but why harp on them???Life is way too short. I just sent him an email saying that he needs to decide if he can accept me for me. We've been together for over a year, and for us to be arguing about crap like this is really stressing me out. There are things that I am not thrilled that he does, but I have learned to accept them, mainly because he will not change, and if somehow he did he would be miserable and blame me for being too controlling...
  5. My BF and I are having a lot of problems because he thinks I don't communicate enough with him. He thinks I am too standoffish and doesn't understand what is going on in my head. I have never been much of a speaker. I mostly listen. My friends come to me because I'm a good listener. He has a lot of friends that he talks to and from the sounds of the conversations, they are mostly " {Mod Edit}" sessions or gossiping. I'm just not into that. I told him I would try harder to talk more, but I am having a hard time doing it. I just find BS talk very boring. Now he is thinking I have had problems in my past that makes me this way (ie. abuse) which is BS. I am beginning to think maybe we are too incompatible. If he really thinks my lack of conversation disturbing, maybe we have a serious problem...
  6. Thanks again guys. The more i think about it and try to get over it, the more I realize it is the right thing to do because we are a good team and it's worth it. Rabican, he did a little more than just think...he actually hooked up with two different women and when the opportunity presented itself to have sex, he backed out and left.
  7. Thanks Guys. First, I feel like a fool because all the time he was going through his crap, I was cheering him on and being supportive. Then he turns around and feels the need to cheat. At the time sex was not overly abundunt. He'd reject me and tll me he was sorry, but he is just too stressed. We had a good talk after all of this came out, and I even felt like our relationship may become rejuvenated. I think it' my pride that is making me question whether to accept his honesty.
  8. It was during a period that he was going through some rough stuff. He says he felt very stressed and that he thought being with someone else would make him feel wanted...BTW, I have never refused to be intimate with him. I have almost always initiated. During that time he was the one who was rejecting me.
  9. Nothing happened. No kissing, no groping. he said he couldn't do it and walked away...twice ( the first time he didn't make it to the rendevous). This all sounds so stupid, and embarrassing
  10. My BF of over a year told me he felt like cheating 3 times. He backed out all 3 times during a rough time he was having. ...even though he was with the women he declined to have sex. Am I being naive? Have you ever gone so far as hook up with someone but got an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to go ahead with it...3 times? I really love this guy, but it's hard when something like this happens... Especially since during this hard time, I was trying to be very supportive and cheering him on to do better. I feel like a fool.
  11. I have been in the same position, except my BF doesn't go to dinner with his friend ( he wouldn't dare...that's a bit much), she just calls the house everyday about stupid stuff. I have really blown up over this, but when I sat down and really thought about it, I realized that he enjoys the attention. It's not that he's cheating or ever would, but he enjoys the ego stroking this girl does, and the fact that she is so damn needy has an appeal to him because I am not that way. I am very independent and try to work things out on my own. He does get sick of it sometimes and i told him that I am okay with him having a friendship with this girl, but to please limit the calls to his office, not the house. It's only fair that the little time I am at home, I don't hear her voice on the other end of the phone. I think that's what is going on with your GF. She enjoys the attention and stroking this guy does. It has nothing to do with her wanting him in an intimate way, he just provides something that she enjoys...I hope this helps.
  12. Thank-you both for the help. Candy- Yeah we cuddle all the time. At this point that's all we do. It's funny but I feel like I'm the guy who wants to get down, and he's the girl who just wants to cuddle... Beec, I have a lot of beautiful PJs from LaPerla. I don't have the stockings and garters anymore, but I will get some. This morning was hard, but I have resolved myself to doing what you say. I don't want to talk about it anymore and I'll just try to stay pretty and sexy if not for him but for myself. Thanks again.
  13. KimNYC


    If it's her first time, go really slow and make sure she's really turned on...
  14. We spoke about that today. He said that he doesn't want to cheat because I make him very happy. But I am not sure if this extends to very casual sex (one night stands?). Yes there has been stressful things. Unfortunately, it seems like every month there's a new dilema on his end. My life is very bagage free thank God LOL!!! I was thinking that maybe I am starting to remind him of all the stress he's been going through, just the fact that I have been there for him through most of the stuff that's going on. It's gotten to the point that when I think about it my heart really hurts and I really don't like this feeling.
  15. Hello Everyone, I am not sure if I am looking for advice or maybe an explanation. My Boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I am very much in love with him and still find him very attractive. I am not sure he feels the same way. We hardly have sex. Lately at night he stays up later than me or if we go to bed together he falls asleep right away. He knows we are having problems. He knows I feel very hurt because of his lack of interest. He apologizes, and says he knows there's something wrong but he doesn't know what. I don't think he's old enough to be changing (42). He has led a very active sexual life before me, as i have as well. There have been some very serious things going on for him that can be stressful, but I am not sure it warrants months of intimacy problems. I am not sure where I stand anymore. As I said I love him dearly, and I really don't think he's cheating. He does have a lot of "girlfriends" that he's been friends with for years, but they are platonic and other than one, they are also long distance. the only one i have problem with calls a lot because she is a very needy girl and for whatever reason, he feels like he has to be supportive of her. She also knows I don't like her... I'm sorry I went off subject. Anyways, I am not sure what to do. If this goes on i think I am going to have to make a decision. I know sex is not everything in a relationship, but for me it's a very big part of it. I enjoy it and it makes me feel more attractive ect...am I being selfish?
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