Jump to content


Bronze Member
  • Posts

  • Joined

Everything posted by answersguy

  1. Good point, it's possible it was just an excuse for not following through on an something. Not sure why she'd view it as necissary but everyone has a differant view on situations and that at least gives a potential reason for the lie. And it's not common that I catch her in lies, it just REALLY bothers me when I do.
  2. Foglifter, Niether of those are the issue. People are missing the fact that I don't care when she called me. I didn't ask her about it. The issue is that she lied unprompted. I couldn't care less when she called, she's entitled to her personal space and time with friends. She's entitled to her life to live as she pleases, I'm cool with that. She's not entitled to lie to me for no reason, I'm not OK with that. That's the only issue here. fnlyfrei, I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I guess I'm looking for what you just gave me. I'm just frustrated and trying to figure out why she would do that and if there is something I can do to get it strait. An ultimatum may not be a bad idea but I question if I'd really stand by it. If she lied about something big I know I would. But something small again, I'm not sure. I guess I'm also wondering if this sort of lying leads to larger lies down the road.
  3. No, I don't care, that's the point... It didn't matter and I didn't ask. Once she started talking though, she brought it up and continued to elaborate on the story with out my asking. The way she presented it, it was obvious she was lying... Like I said, I can read her. Calling her friend first is irrelevant, I do that all the time. Feeding me a lie when I'm not asking for information... That is a problem. Why are some of you so set on thinking that I constantly keep tabs on her? I understand you're trying to fill in the blanks to account for the behavior but that's why I'm so confused. If I did that, I would understand it but I don't do that. I'm pretty relaxed about stuff. I just don't like being lied to.
  4. Why do you use the term "constantly badgered" I didn't ask her. She volunteered the information, I don't tell her what to do and I don't ask her to account for her time. PLEASE give me the account of "constant badgering" that you refer to. DN, That's kinda what I'm trying to figure out. Are the white lies going to go away, and if not, why are they there in the first place.
  5. Funny thing, if I try to break up with her she'll beg and grovel and harass the crap out of me until I give. I don't want to go through all of that and I care about her, I want to be with her... I just want her to be honest and I don't see why she lies. We had a situation where she almost cheated but didn't and she let an ex get way too close then she lied about the whole thing for months. I tried to break up with her then over the lying and she did the whole begging/groveling thing and I gave because I care about her. She told me she'll make an effort to be more open and honest. And I know it may seem like I keep tabs on here but the fact of the matter is, I don't care what she does as long as it's not hurting anyone. The problem is that she's easy to read when she lies but last night she wouldn't admit to it so I got proof then wondered why so adament about sticking with this one? I didn't ask her for a story, she volunteered the lie without me asking.
  6. My girlfriend and I have had issues with lies in the past. In regards to large things and months later, the truth finally came out. I'd call her out on something that seemed too far fetched and she'd come clean. Well, last night, she told me she'd call me when she got off work and she got off at a very random time. Well, when she called, she called from her house and told me that a friend called her as she was walking out the door from work and that she'd planned on calling me before the friend called. I wouldn't have cared if she called her friend first but I don't like being lied to and found it incredibly LUCKY that the friend would happen to call at the exact second she was walking out the door. She stood by her story, I just checked her phone logs from last night and she was lying. Why would she do that when I just wanted honesty and even called her on it?
  7. You know, I exhibit alot of the behavior of your boyfriend. My relationship with my girlfriend was phenominal for the first three months then she let her ex back into her life and our relationship. She let him say and do somethings that she should have stopped, she didn't cheat but she came very close and he became hell bent on breaking us up after that. She lied multiple times about what actually happened and begged me not to break up with her. I didn't but ever since, I find myself being distant and overly judgemental about her actions. For me, I think that's a self defense mechanism and it's slowly going away. I've never been like that in a relationship before and I want to stop it completely but every now and then it still just happens. Not sure if that does anything for you but maybe he's upset about something larger that he hasn't talked about.
  8. Currious if anyone would even notice. You did I've done it once before and people just responded as if it was from yesterday rather than years old.
  9. You're obviously not over the cheating. I really think you should walk away from this girl and find a new one. Cheating tends to be the rule rather than the exception once it happens. If you do want to stay with her, you at least need to confront her about the interest in other guys and tell her that her comments are unacceptable. Good Luck
  10. Andy is an eternal victim. I wouldn't say he runs from his problems but he does usually look for another option to place the blame until the problem is solved. The deal with his cousin WAS more her doing than his though. He could have stopped it but she really was blackmailing him. She's a raving lunatic and a huge nympho, Andy probably needs to get tested for all sorts of STD's but he hasn't been talking to me much lately.
  11. Andy... Stay the hell away Amber. If I had to guess, she's the one who suggested this idea to your mother in the first place. You don't have to worry about her telling people because I know for a fact that you've told more people than she has. She's miserable and she wants to make you miserable too. I promise you though, she's going to try to seduce you and have your mom catch you. She wants to take your family away from you and once you get caught, she's going to act like you took advantage of her. Did you get any calls back on those other interviews? And why has your cellphone been off? that won't look goot to potential employers if they try to call.
  12. Yep, Sandestin is about 10 miles east of destin, it's more secluded, more expensive and most of the resorts are 25+. The only reason I bring up the price and age limit for the area is because they are two reasons I don't expect to see many high school and college spring breakers.
  13. I booked an extended weekend getaway for my girlfriend and I at a nice hotel on the beach in florida and I told her about it last night (we leave friday). I'm looking for any fun romantic ideas for the beach or the sandestin area. I want to make her feel special and truly loved.
  14. shataria, Try asking him what he's looking for in a girl. If he's interested he'll more than likely either say "someone like you" or describe you. If he doesn't do that, don't come out with your crush. Good luck
  15. Focus on having a good time and Keep things light. Do coffee in the early afternoon so that if it does go well you can continue. If you want to continue the date, I recommend asking her if she'd like to get some fresh air and when she ask what you mean, say you were thinking of going to the park. She'll be pleasantly surprised by the recommendation and it'll give you the opportunity to have fun, and be retarded with her, she'll love it. If things don't go well with coffee, your evening is still open. Keep us posted on the specifics. I can't speak for everyone else but I'm currious and I'd like to know how it turns out. Good luck
  16. Thanks for clearing that up heloladies. That could definitely account for the incedent with the shirt and her current behavior be related to that as well as things not being "new" any more and all the other stuff she has going on in her life. I probably do need to talk to her more when it comes to smaller things.
  17. Don't keep worrying with this. Either let it go (my recommendation) or ask her and risk making a woman who gave you 8 months of her life feel vulnerable and judged. Whatever you do, do it now because I'm sure these thoughts are affecting your relationship unintentionally.
  18. I think it's his first date from an online dating service and he's a little worried. He didn't say he wasn't attracted to her, he just implied that certain undevulged features may cause him to lose attraction. I'm just saying he should go with the focus of both of them having a good time, nothing more. If he's not attracted, he shouldn't be ann A** and tell her that but he shouldn't lead her on with future dates or romance either. Besides, did you look at his profile picture, he looks like a monkey. I'm sure she can't be all that bad.
  19. OK, for those of you who think she's trying to break up with me or losing interest... She's not, She's told me multiple times recently that she can't wait until I propose and she can't wait until I'm her husband and we can build a life together. Right now she's got a 40 hr a week internship and another job that ranger from 20 to 30 hr's a week. She's about to graduate college and start life in the "Adult" world. So I'm more trying to figure out if the behavior change is due to stress and long hours or due to getting comfortable in our relationship? Heloladies, I appreciate your advice but why are you always so set that she's pulling away and ready to end things? You seem content on the idea that any girl that is pulling back on sex doesn't respect her man... Believe or not, I'm not a push over. When it comes to issues related to my life and our relationship I keep her very aware of my expectations and what sort of behavior I will and will not accept. She understands my boundries and stays firmly within those. Beec, Good advice here. On the other thread, I just can't advocate making your wife think that you are seriously considering cheating. Change in life style is a good thing, going to the gym, without her a few days a week would be a better way to go about it though. It will also help build some testosterone.
  20. WOW... If you want a divorce, listen to BEEC his views were right on but his solution is the stuff that promptly ends marriages... This is a serious problem and not one to play games with. Locke had some very valid points though and a great solution. I still think counceling but taking the lead, acting the man... Trying to be more of a casanova and less of a maid may help a great deal. Candles aren't a bad idea though, maybe go pick up some sexy lingerie, turn out all the lights in the bedroom but have one candle lit. Leave the lingerie on the bed and a note telling her to have it on for you when you get home.
  21. CarnelianButterfly, The differance between a friend and a SO initially is attraction. If you're not attracted it will cause a serious problem when it comes to physical aspects of the relationship... (what makes it a romance) So yes, he should care if he isn't attracted to her. Some guys REALLY like big girls and they think it's sexy some guys just aren't attracted to that. I think it's only fair to him to have a woman he's proud to be with and thinks is sexy and only fair to her to have a guy who thinks she's sexy because alot of guys will. I tried to date a big girl friend that has a great personality, when it came time for sex, I wasn't attracted and couldn't get it up. She cried for weeks and then I realized why attraction is so important neither one of us deserved that and it was my fault for going with the advice of female friends like you telling me to give her a chance even though the attraction was lacking. DeeJay, Give her a chance, don't say anything of the sort. She may be trying to hide something but it may not be as much as you are thinking. Have you ever been with a girl with a bangin body who thinks she's fat??? Sure, we all have. Just play it by ear and have a good time. There's no pressure from either direction. But if you meet and you're not attracted, don't give her false hope.
  22. 4 days would be ideal but I'd like a round two on a couple of those days so 4-6 for me and I'm currently getting 1-2
  23. She's your girlfriend and his booty call. If you're cool with having a prostitue for a girlfriend then by all means, continue in this relationship... Otherwise, it's time to take off the rose colored glasses and realize she isn't the person you thought she was. You've allowed her to cheat and you've acted oblivious that says to a woman "I'm not a man and I don't have a penis, feel free to walk on me any way you please". If you're not in a committed relationship, it's not as bad, you just need to have a long talk with her about what sort of behavior you will and will not accept.
  24. 3 words my friend... "Go to counceling" It could be any number of reasons anywhere from her not being confident in her looks to her not being attracted to you anymore or even another man. There are a thousand other things it could be too... That is a serious problem.
  25. I didn't read what everyone else posted so this may be redundant but... If he has a problem, maybe he should pick up some of the slack himself. and for you, if you say you're gonna do something, give your best effort to stand by it. Try to only make plans when you are certain you can follow through and that way you'll seem more reliable. You can still go over as much as you like but some of your visits just won't be scheduled. That way when you say something he'll know he can count on it... Being able to depend on eachother is crucial to in long term relationships.
  • Create New...