kittynap

Thanks for the advice but i did not do anything to ruin the friendship- she chose not to hang out with me for 5 years. She mentioned my sex life in front of her boyfriend, something i told her not to tell anyone. My father died suddenly- she wasnt there for me. im not sure if i can trust her again

I really need some advice with this: This may be long but this is the situation in summary. Met my best friend when I was 10 in grade school, we both bonded and were very close. We lived in the same area, we shared everything together, talked to each other everyday. We were both geeky. We were our only friends in the neighborhood. Junior high , HS and college we both went to diff schools. As we got older in HS we both were not geeks anymore , remained very best friends. I even had a boyfriend in HS of 4 years but always stayed in contact with her..Called each other everyday, confided, etc. In college our interests did change but we remained the same best friends, confiding, secrets. Etc/ I did have other friends but no one as close as Diane. I never confided in anyone like I did with her. I always felt like she was a sister, friend to the end…She also helped me through a traumatic childhood and was a good influence on me, kept me away from bad kids, and influenced me to attend college and do well// she made my life happier. During college she had met a guy when she was about 23,, they moved in together and I did not hear from her much anymore. This was her first real boyfriend. I used to call her up and invite her to go to concerts with me, I used to get free tiks, she never went, she would just say shes staying home with her bfrnd. When my father passed away, she asked me “should I come to the funeral? Cause if you want me there I’ll come.” I was just schocked by this question. I just said its ok you don’t have to , she was like ok. When my other friends who lived even further from her insisted on coming even though I told them they don’t have to.. Everyone asked where she is? I felt so awful she wasn’t there. (she was only 2 hours away) So after this she still didn’t invite me out ,, she also was in my area every weekend but never called me… Around this time I was still in college but started modeling. One time I did visit her,, She told me that im too old to be a model ( I was 23) and I will never be success with it. Then her bfrnd jumped in and assured me I was way too old to be a model and i was wasting my time and a joke to be so old at 23 and try to model.... They both know nothing about modeling. btw. Around the same time I started a relationship with a new guy. I showed her his picture she looked at it and went into the other room and closed the door. Then she started bragging to me how shes taking a trip with her sisters friends and her bfrnd to Florida. I felt weird and offended she didn’t ask me to come along but I didn’t say anything.. After this I didn’t see her for a whole year, finally she said she would meet me for dinner and then later for drinks at a bar. I was happy to see her but as soon as she saw me she started saying I was wearing too much make-up.. She brought her boyfriend with her. I ignored it but we sat down to have dinner and she started making fun of other people in the restaurant.. Then she started bringing up very personal things I confided in her, , she blurted out “hey remember the married guy you hooked up with, still talk to him”? I couldn’t believe it.. right in front of her bfrnd,,, at this point I knew she told him all my secrets.. Then he whispers to her and she goes. “oh we have to leave right after this, we cant have drinks with u later like we planned” Then she started saying how modeling is like prostitution I just got mad at this point and told her off, she threatened to hit me. I just left, she called me but didn’t leave a message. Then I did call her to tell her how awful she was and she told me she does not remember saying those things to me(she wasn’t drinking) I did not really get an apology.. I spoke to her sometime after that and she told me she was really jealous of me because she weighed over 180 pounds and shes really sorry. I said apology accepted. But she never sent a letter or a card saying shes sorry.. I also told her how she never gets together with me anymore. I told her shes always in my area and never calls me/. I said SO you don’t like me anymore? You don’t want to be friends? She denied it saying shes very busy these days but loves me. I said but I never see you—been years yet you hang out with your sisters friends, is there something about me you don’t like? She told me im crazy and she loves me. Ever since then I felt betrayed.. That was 3 years ago… Last year she started calling my house and cell a lot leaving messages// I took a long time calling her back, got an invite to her wedding. I didn’t want to go but my Family convinced me even though she has not been a friend lately I still should go since we were best friends at one time. So I did attend. I also told her I always thought I would be in her wedding party. She told me that’s what she was calling me about to ask me to be in her wedding party but I took 2 months to call her back and now its too late. I went to the wedding and she had me sit at a table with all her sisters friends and her sister. No one talked or even looked at my face or said hi. Thank god my bfrnd went with me. Then she kept running over to me saying “OMG THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND I was offended by that because when she was getting married she was calling me every week. I have not called her.. Looking back she was pretty abusive to me, I think another person would have forget her. I even asked her what her problem is with me, am I doing something to not make her be my friend and she never said yes… I know whatever I tell her she will go back and tell her husband, its not the same. Also she prob will tell other people. I still cant get pass her not coming to my fathers funeral. It bothers me most. Its very hard for me to forgive her.. and I don’t see her reaching out… What do you think? Should I bother? Or put her in my past and never contact her again? I was never able to find someone to confide in like I did with her that’s what I miss most.