loverUTD

I kinda figured time and space were the answers from the beginning. I think it's hard for me to accept that since I like to make things right, or fix things. I just feel helpless and out of control in a relationship I worked so hard to build. Thank you for your advice so far.

I tried to reassure her that I loved her, and I will for a long time to come. It may be worth noting that a few weeks before new years, she kissed her ex at a party while intoxicated. She promptly confessed and cried about it. I immediately forgave her, and didn't become angry at all. Is couples counseling something to consider? I'm willing to make the effort if it would help. She seems to think that it's entirely her problem that she can't get over this. I feel helpless not being able to do anything. I want to go over to her apartment and philabuster until she gives in, but I know better. Anyone have any ideas what I can do?

I've been with her for about 4 months. I absolutely love her, and don't want to be without her. Yesterday, due to the weather, we spent all day in my apartment. We have separate apartments, but she spends most of her free time over here. I noticed that she was distant and withdrawn all day. Later in the day, when she was going to her apartment to take a shower, she said she was feeling smothered, and that she was going to sleep at her apartment. I said I totally understood that she needed her space, and kissed her goodnight. She tried to call me at 11:10pm last night, but I ignored the call, thinking she was just a little lonely and that I should give her a chance to have her space. I called her back this morning, and she said we needed to talk. So I went over to her apartment and we talked. She said that she wasn't really feeling smothered, that was just her cover for what she was really feeling. She said that she doesn't like to see me around other people, that it makes her jealous, and if she's not around too, then she worries about what I might be doing. Now I have absolutely no history of cheating. I've never even entertained an unfaithful thought. I love this girl more than anyone I've ever met. She opens me up and makes me a better person, and I don't want to lose her. Her reasoning for feeling jealous all the time she says, is that I used to be gay. I know, you don't hear "i used to be gay" a lot, but that's how it is. Between the ages of 14 and 18, I thought I was gay, and lived a livestyle accordingly. At age 18, I began to feel feelings for girls, and ever since then I have had no sexual contact with a male. I'm almost 22 now. I have no desire to be with men, I don't find men attractive. I only want her. I told her all about this past before we began dating, when we were good friends. I know she loves me, and I love her deeply. She did some reading on the internet, and so did I, and the response to all similar questions is "he's gay and in denial, leave him!" I don't feel that anyone who isn't me can say with any accuracy what my sexual orientation is. I'm very attracted to her, just as much today as when I first met her. We have great sex, usually 2 or more times a day, and according to her, it's the best she's ever had. I put HUGE amounts of efforts into this relationship, into making her happy every single day. And according to her, I'm doing everything right. This really kills me, since it's her jealousy\worrying problem, and I seem helpless to fix it. Please give me some advice. My heart's breaking here.