My SO and I continually have arguments. I know we both have some valid points to this so I wanted some feedback on this.
FROM HIS SIDE:
She says she is going to do some errand & I accept she will do it. Some days later I find it;s not done. I get angry. I feel she is unreliable, not trustworthy, breaking her promise. She has done this many times before. She is lazy and self absorbed. I tell her these things to her face. When I get angry - justifiably- I use bad language and namecalling.
FROM MY SIDE:
Some errand needs to be done. I add it to my list. Several days later I have not done it. Even though it should have been done. My SO will ask about it. I will say no. He: Why not? Me: Cause I was busy at work, had other stuff to do. He: But you said you would do it. You are an unreliable, selfish, useless idiot.
Now it turns into a nasty argument. He feels hurt that the errand was not accomplished, I feel hurt that he used foul language towards me. He says if I did the errand he would not be angry and use the language.
Obviously "errand" stands in for many things, some big and important and some small and not so important.
My main question is: How do I get out if the argument cycle? How do I deal with being called lazy, unreliable etc over things, even if I did them wrong?
I have tried ignoring it, walking out of the room, but sometimes can't help myself but argue back. This has been going on for some time and is becoming a dealbreaker to our long-term reltionship. Any advice?
