luv4linds

Yowch, sorry MMFM. I wanted ot reply to your thing earlier before your last post b/c I was in a very similar situation a long time ago. That whole is she or he cheating or not is a horrible conflict to have, but the friends of hers aren't helping the situation any. A person who is really concerned for your well-being won't just dangle info like that in front of you without checking to see how it will affect you first. And, obviously, a person who really cares about you doesn't hook up with people even drunkenly at parties. Hope your next GF is more mature and less into drama.

How about a compromise for how you spend your time? You and your BF could agree to spend say half of the time visiting all the popular places and the other half just walking around each city, hanging out with each other without a schedule. I’m one of those people who like to bring a laptop with me at least for plane rides, but I can see why you wouldn’t want your BF to be distracted with it. Maybe you should let him use it on his own time like when you’re flying there, but tell him it’s off-limits when you’re in the actual cities. If he really needs information, they have services like 4info that send you text messages with restaurant and store listings on your phone, and once you receive the information, he can turn his phone off. And keep reminding him that it’s more important to you that you have a good time together and all the planning and stuff can get in the way of that. Have fun!

Sorry guys, this is more of a rant. I just need someplace to get it off my chest. Long story short, I got together with this guy four years ago. We both worked at the same restaurant and he totally cracked me up with his impressions of some of the customers and the people we worked with. There was a lot of hooking up in the group of people who worked there, but he and I would always just spend time way into the night talking. Plus, I soon found out, he had a girlfriend and wasn't sure where things stood with her. He and I were friends for months, hanging out a lot, even meeting each other's families, everything you might want from a relationship w/o all the physical stuff. Finally, I was like, you and I are better together than anyone I've ever dated. And he broke up with his girlfriend and we agreed to take it slow. But after things got intense between us, it was about a year into it, he bowed out and said he didn't want to be really involved with anyone else w/o having been single for a while. So I let him be single. It was sad at the time but not the worst thing since I was just 21 at the time and I didn't really need a serious boyfriend. We still cared a lot for each other and spent time together but it was like before we became "official." Then we went on a trip to England together and we decided there we should give it another try. And things went really well between us for about a year and a half. Then he decided to take a job working with his brother outside our state. He told me about his decision the night after we had a long talk about maybe moving in with each other. I was really broken up that time, like it took us that long to make such a step and he responded by wanting to go away. We broke up and he left, and I decided to go back to school and just be alone for a while. But now he is back in town and keeps calling me, trying to set up obvious dates with me and hinting about how much he missed me. I just know he wants to get back together. But I'm over it. I love him but I need to feel like he's just as in love with me. But I know that if I see him, even just spend an hour with him by ourselves, I could be won over. He's very convincing that way. So far I've just I'md him and talked with him on the phone a few times. I'm not sure I should hang out with him yet but it's probably unavoidable because we know a lot of the same people. What should I say when I do? How can I defend myself against all the feelings and our history?