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  1. The only difference is that I would make time. But you have a valid point. By the end of the day I am exhausted and just want to stay home much of the time since I am very busy. However, I still call my friends to try and get together! It's just that many of them spend their free time with their boyfriends. I just don't know how to really go about it since I can't go seaching for Mr. Right, yet I need to open myself up somehow. I guess I just need to go in a direction, but I've tried already and am tired of "looking", but I do need to make myself available somehow.
  2. Well an old friend of the family told my mom about a young man, but I never met him and my parents haven't talked to her in awhile. But I just talked to my mom today about getting together for a Bible study and that I wanted to go (but I wasn't thinking about the young man). My parents don't try to set me up with anyone because they don't like pressuring me in any way, but I notice that I tend to get together with guys if I'm introduced to them by other people.
  3. Where I am looking? Well I'm not even looking, but in a way I am. I haven't been going to many social events since I've been busy and my close friends seem to be preoccupied with their boyfriends and their own lives. But then again I'm looking because I see so many people around me with somebody, which leads me to question myself sometimes. I know what your thinking, which is 'well of course if she's not out meeting people than she won't meet anyone' . This is somewhat true, but a lot of environments my friends go to I don't feel comfortable in (like clubs and bars). Plus, I don't live near many of my friends (I commute to school and so I spend a lot of my time driving). It's true, quantity shouldn't matter but I would like to at least meet someone. Maybe I'm not putting myself out there enough because I'm afraid...who knows? I'm pretty much by myself all the time (except being around my wonderful family) and sometimes it's just difficult to realize, that's all.
  4. So it seems as time passes, the more I wonder how it's possible to even meet someone. I guess that's what I get for being so busy...yet I think about how so many people around me are in relationships and even those who became single while I was single met someone once again. It's good to look back and be thankful that I'm taking things slow, but then again there has been a dead hault when it comes to dating for a long time now. I'd really just like to have someone to talk to and confide in. Because I'm busy I haven't spent much quality time with my friends (and of course they have been busy too). Even though my friends have been busy they still manage to spend time with their boyfriends. I guess what I'm saying is that in simple terms I want a committed friendship, but that takes time. And well, I actually have to meet the guy first. I'm sure many of you may have similar thoughts. I would just like to see what you all had to say.
  5. Don't be so hard on yourself. I know it's easier said than done (I tend to be that way sometimes) but even if you start to criticize your efforts remember that no matter what, the best approach is to be yourself. The first step would probably be to start developing a friendship with him. There's nothing wrong with asking him how he's doing or what he did during the weekend. You'll be less nervous when you get a better idea of what his personality is like. It takes time to gain that kind of confidence, but remember how you began friendships with your other friends. Notice him and show him interest, but then again don't neglect your other friends in the room. Hope this advice helps!
  6. There is this attractive guy in my class who sits next to me and I have this weird feeling he is attracted to me too. For example, many times when I walk accross the class I can see him looking at me from far away. We chat sometimes and I didn't want to seem too interested by always trying to strike up a conversation so today during class I casually said hello when he sat down. Then I talked to my other friends, while another girl was talking to him (she always asks him a bunch of questions and I get an idea that she is interested in him too). So then when we both stopped talking I asked him how his weekend went and he told me what he did. Then he asked me how my weekend went. Great...some progress since he's not really talkative...he pretty much just answers questions and it's been a few times that he has asked me questions. Ugh, but still! He's just starting to warm up to the people sitting around him, but I wish he could just strike up an interesting conversation. I also notice that we seem to mimic each other's moves and we're the only two in that sitting area that can't sit still...always moving lol (maybe nerves? I know that's the reason I'm fidgety). This could mean anything though. I could try to go out of my way a little more to talk to him (like out of class), but I'm sure he has girls interested all the time. Even if he is shy, he is attractive and a lot of girls like those silent types. Should I continue to show a little interested here and there or what? I was thinking about building up the courage to give him "the look" so he knows I'm interested. The problem is that guys never approach me (but can never seem to look at them when they look at me). My girl friends tell me that guys can be intimidated, but I'm not sure if that's just part of a "game". I try to be very friendly, but that's never enough. In the past I have gone out of my way, but it never worked out in the end. But I'm starting to see that many guys don't know what to think of a girl of my kind. You see, I am pretty independent, very positive, respect myself by having morals and standards and I really take care of myself and the way I look. I haven't had much luck in the dating scene, but it's typically because the bad ones run away. I just don't know how to show interest without scaring a guy (the intimidation factor). I don't want to automatically get into a mode of always thinking of ways to show a guy I'm interested like I've always done before so I want to take this slowly and remember that he is just like any other guy. Any advice? I have been out of the loop when it comes to dating for a long time now. P.S. Don't get me wrong, I don't scare guys off by calling too much. I like my space, but I always wonder if I am trying too hard or not enough and that is my problem! I've even had a friend tell me that I need to be more expressive when trying to show my interest.
  7. Lifestream - What exactly is it that your saying? Do you mean sometimes striking a conversation may not show interest and just seem as being nice?
  8. Thanks. I'll just try to get a better "feel" for it and strike up another conversation, but I'll probably end up more frustrated! All I know is what's meant to be is meant to be! BTW, great album. Muse is one of my favorite bands.
  9. So there is this guy in my class whom I am attracted to. He sits next to me and I've tried to talk to him, but that only lasted for a short time. I've noticed that he doesn't talk to anyone and I'm not sure if he is shy or just doesn't care too much for the class. I have friends in the class whom I chat with, which might make it more difficult to strike up a conversation. I have noticed him sneaking a peak at me and when we make eye contact I sense an attraction on his part. I wonder if he is single or not...I am soooo bad at this sort of thing. After all, I have been single for about a year and a half! The longer I'm single the more I seem to second guess myself. I'm not sure what it is I'm asking. I can either try to strike up another conversation or just wait until there is another guy who's giving me more definite signals that he's interested (like smilling, trying to start conversations with me) although guys NEVER do that! It's just frustrating and I'm not sure if guys are intimidated. I'm usually the one to initiate conversations so I'm not really sure how to go about this situation. I'd just feel like a complete idiot if I tried and got turned down since I haven't had much luck with guys. ANY ADVICE???
  10. So I've been single for close to a year and a half now and different thoughts have been running through my mind like... 'What do I have to offer someone?' 'Am I not trying hard enough to meet someone?' and 'Am I trying too hard?' There are times when I look back at the situation I'm in and know there's a reason for it and that I should learn and experience as much as I can being single. There are times when I think about how often I want to meet that special someone so much that it can be a "crutch" and an excuse for me not to grow individually. Well the thing is, I think too much sometimes. The longer I'm single, the harder it seems to remember what my desirable traits are. I really am second guessing myself, but it's very difficult to get out of that mindset. So my question is this: What can I do to stop second guessing myself when it comes to dating and relationships?
  11. I'm single and lately now that I've been more busy I haven't been thinking as much about meeting someone, which has been sort of a relief. By the end of a busy day I just think of how nice it would be to spend time with a special someone and even though I wish to meet someone, I don't feel as lonely and I feel like I can handle being single a little more since I'm not as emotionally dependent on meeting that one person. However, I always see articles about relationships, hear song after song about being in love and how love can make you happy, watch movies and television shows about dating and hear my friends talk about their boyfriends. It's difficult to avoid. The subject of romantic love seems to be everywhere and the fact that Valentine's Day is coming around doesn't help. It's like society is telling me I cannot be happy being alone (don't get me wrong, I am very happy for my friends!) and I've started to realize more and more when my feelings are healthy or not when it comes to relationships and what can trigger those feelings. I just wish relationships weren't such a focus and though I still have the desire to be with someone, I know that there are so many other important things to life than that. It is just difficult to focus on them sometimes... Does anyone feel the same way?
  12. WOW...thank you so much Arwen. It's true. Though I am not attracted to the bad boy, I still think I'm naive enough to assume that any guy that acts like a gentleman in the beginning really is. I'm not sure exactly how people perceive me, but they definitely see me as a good girl. I am pretty honest when it comes to showing who I am and I try to be as real as I can. But maybe it is what I want them to see since I don't want to hide who I am. I'm sure there are times when I try too hard... When it comes to it though I do not show off and act like I'm perfect since I know I am FAR from it. I am who I am and yes lately I've been really disliking myself. But that just comes to show how emotional and impatient I can be sometimes. Lately, I've been thinking that it will take forever to find a true gentleman due to past experiences with the opposite sex. But I'm only basing it on what happened in the past and I just need to keep that positive attitude and faith that everything is going to be just fine...
  13. I am pretty sexually innocent though I have been physically intimate in some ways, but I'd rather not go into details. Also, I'm not looking for a bad boy, but a gentleman, which of course is hard to find. Ultimately, looks don't matter to me but I'd like there to be an attraction and someone's personality can totally make me attracted to them. I value honesty and respect so much, but it really is hard to find. My outlook on life is pretty positive. People tend to see me that way. I don't have baggage and I try to learn from my mistakes and become a better person. I am also very old-fashioned, which of course is contrary to the majority.
  14. Thank you for your concern. The thing is I just don't want to hurry up and "get experienced" if you get what I mean. It takes time. It takes maturity. And in someways I feel that I am pretty mature for my age, but in this case it isn't attractive because I am still innocent. I don't know what to say. I don't want to change for anyone else, but I've been so frustrated lately.
  15. So I am having problems having guys stick around. But it's not what you think... I'm pretty innocent and well, it seems to me like time after time guys lose interest because of who I am. I'm not as naive as I used to be, but I still like to keep a lot of my innocence. After all I'm only 22. Even if I don't say that I am, I give off that vibe. I'm pretty honest and don't try to fool guys by acting innocent because I really am. I just get so frustrated sometimes and wish someone could like me for me. Many guys are very attracted to me, of course looks only go so far. And it doesn't help that I look younger than I am. Tell me, do any of you have a similar problem? What are all your thoughts?
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