calmingwind
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Posts
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Joined
calmingwind's Achievements
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i do deserve better.........
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I am 11 years older than my male interest. Culturally, his mother has a problem with that because she wants him to have children. I am still able to do this. I don't know what will happen. I really love this guy and he has to decide to be strong to buck his culture.........
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UPDATE: His Mother does not approve of our age difference- I am 11 years older than he. This is why he was told to be "attracted to women of childbearing age". I have a go ahead for pregnancy----and am not even perimenopausal. He said that he is not seeing the real estate agent and that he hasn't made the final decision. ](*,) Chinese culture----Should I ask "Since you were honest abt my age w/ your mother, were you equally as honest in telling her that you had cancer? Even though you had cancer I am wanting to have a child w/you... " His father has a mistress and second family . This left his mother in a shameful position..and the children all cater to her so as not to allow her to experience anymore distress in her life......... Though I am understanding I wont actively enable this situation.
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Please force yourself to try something good for yourself- like join a gym to take an exercise class or volunteer at a children's library. Go out with friends once a week and keep yourself busy. Get a massage, have your nails done, take a class. You will improve every day, day by day. Force yourself to read a best seller- take your mind off of the past and build a new future with positive things and people around you. Positive attracts positive------you are the best company you can ever have!
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Help- he is coming to town and says he wants to see me and sincerely hopes I will se him this time.......
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Flush him away eh?
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Interdependent relationships allow for individuality of each person- a time away in growth , a coming together of sharing. I feel he has post cancer treatment depression and have suggested he seek counseling. He has told me that he loves me. I accept everything about him, his family background (which I havent mentioned anything about here- father has a mistress w/a set of children and still married to his mother- he is the youngest of 3 children by this marriage...he feels he cannot put another woman through what his mother endured--so, the committment issue may be a valid one. I can accept he wouldnt be "into me", except for his telling me he loves me and the shared experiences, compatibility, shared values.... I will accept any communication or act of committment, nothing less.
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Thank you Annie---I don't want to be with someone whom doesn't want to be with me....
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Thank you---I think he has the "need sex" and "what if..." syndrome. Im backing away
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I told him that he has put me in an impossible situation- that if I continued to interact with him, it would appear that I did not respect myself. He told me that in no way would he disrespect me. I agree- actions speak louder than words.
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I guess he feels that he has "unfinished business" in the world of dating. He has admitted to being emotionally immature and by his statement- I am afraid of commitment. I wanted a monogamous relationship.
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Thank you for these words...It isnt easy of course... He tells me that when he speaks to another person he feels like he is betraying me. I do feel betrayed.
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i guess he's accustomed to my kindness and wont respond unless he is treated with disregard.... that is not whom I am or how I relate to people though- it isnt my nature
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thank you ... walking away- he knows that i may not be here for him when i have always been there for him
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I have told him that I wont be disrespected. What I will accept from him in communication is a response of committment. I wont see him if he is seeing others, but he wants to continue to see me platonically. He's very difficult, charming, intelligent AND unavailable.