cbstyles69

almost 30 and no sex? god have mercy on his soul. lol. alright here it is. its apparent its not that he's playing the nice guy role, he's got some sort of woman issues. or insecurity's. i think i have my momments each year where my game falls to the floor and cant seem to get out of it for a few months. in my early twenty's i actually went a couple years without sex, or even advancement. it took some time to break out of my shell. i watched other men and how they worked. although i still concider myself a nice guy i tried playing that "typical guy" roll. guess what, it worked. i think what made matters worse was friends that pushed the subject ( almost embarrassing) expecially for a guy that hasnt had any play in 29 years. i go thu the same thing being 31 and a single dad. my youngest sister pushes woman on me all the time. i know she means well and that she wants me to find misses right, but its all on my dime. sometimes she gets really embarrassing with the topic, like we'l go out to a bar and she'l bump into a friend of hers and stand over our shoulders saying (this is where you buy her a drink) ( oh, and this is where i think you should kiss) i'm in no hurry. in the meantime i live life, have fun, smile as much as i can and while i wait for that special someone i met alot of new interesting people. i guess she's more concerned that i've had alot of flops in relationships. like i said, she means well but over bearing with the constent pushing. as for the strip joints, it appears that he wants sex, but doesnt know how. so he turns to something easy, something money can buy. almost like he's given up hope. how is his self worth? esteam? does he think highly of himself? maybe its something beyond your help and quite possibly be something that should be left for the professionals. i know depression can put a huge damper on your game. if you dont feel any self worth, how can anyone see anything in you?

i feel i'm an average guy, and i'm going to say this as lil big headed as i can. looks have nothing to do with it. people want confidence,charm. are u interesting? how do u spend your life? theres alot more to come into play then just looks. look at it this way opposites attract to looks, but to win someone over with charm is going to bring you alot farther in a relationship. so what, it means u just have to work a lil harder for what you want. one thing my parents did teach me is hard work pay's off.

i didnt see your latest post saying u had actually talked to him about this. good job, was the best thing in your favor. 6 years is alot to lose on his behalf, he'l come around. give him time. he's just hurting. rejection from a stranger is always taken lighter then rejection from a long time loved one.

read my thread if u need some advice. i've been going thru this but on the opposite side of the street. u need to be upfront and honest with him and not lead him on. i've been going thru this with a best friend of almost 11 years and our friendship has suffered drastically because things were left dead ended for the last 6 months. we had our talk today actually and this is why its so ironic that i'm bumping into your post, but i feel so much better now that we actually talked about feelings and how she felt and how i felt. my situation may be a lil different then yours, but same concept in the end. me being in your friends shoes, i'm feeling alot better about things now that we've had our talk. theres probably going to be a rough spot in your friendship, but if he values u that much he'l come around. hope this helps and have a happy new year.

u want to know how its like to have a female friend? go to my thread , search for my user name cbstyles69. prime example. its invigiorating, but yet, u'll never have a normal relationship ever. i've been best friends with a female for 11 years. although i think its come to an end cuz platonic love went a lil farther as we explored our options. sad to see her gone. she ment the world to me.

currant status. ugh!!! i'm working from home today anyways thats besides the point. she's at work and we were chatting via yahoo messanger. we've always chatted durring work hours, actually every day. sometimes when she's home we chat on messanger. its almost like being around her all the time but from the comfort of my own home and away from her b/f that i dislike very much. anyways we've been having this problem lately ( well since i've told her about my feelings) the both of us get really confused and dissoriented at times. simple gestures typed to eachother via email or yahoo seem to be taken the wrong way by both of us. this has never happened in the 11 years that we've known eachother. its almost like we both are tip toeing on egg shells being carefull of what we say to eachother because were both highly emotional right now. i dont understand why such the emotions, but thats really besides the point. regardless durring our conversation i said something and she took it the wrong way. i know what it stems from, we never have this problem while talking on the phone or in person. goes to show you cant really show emotions when your typing short sentances on messanger or email. for some reason were both getting mixed emotions from our conversations online that its been quite burdensome on our friendship. i ended it today by telling her i'm no longer accepting emails or yahoo messages from her for this reason. i explained it to her deeply and appologized but let her know we can always talk on the phone and or hang out. she's been so down lately, and i guess i can say honestly i have been too. i told her i was moving back to new york, i'm going to miss her alot and i know she's feeling the same. i just went downtown to her work to drop off her christmas gift that i bought her, and she was holding back tears the entire time. this makes me really sad to see her like this. to give a lil insite on what i did, inside the card i bought her i gave back the note that she left in my coat pocket that was from her stating she wanted me to run away with her. i wrote on the reverse side of the note. come home with me, screw it, i'll pay. love always, me. she can accept this anyway she wants, but i want her to know the offer is there. her and i have always shown a dependance on eachother. we've lived together as roomates for a long time so i'm sure u can see why. we've always been at eachothers back weather it was financially, emotional support, or what ever life may throw at us.i am going to try to take a break from her, i'd like these feelings i have to lesson a lil bit only cuz they scare me at times. i find myself losing sleep over this and somtimes i'm up till 4:30 in the morning beating my brain on where i went wrong when i full know that i have to be to work at 7:30 am. i'm sure my co workers can see the dark rings under my eyes. i really think me moving to ny is going to make or break me. either way what ever the turn out is i'll get over it and learn to smile once agian. today's been such an emotional mess for me. i need to get my christmas spirit cap on because i have to finish my shopping. what a great way to be durring the holiday's. anyways miss honeyspur i i dont talk to u before hand, u have a marry christmas.

just to let u know i tried sending u a private email but you have that option blocked. i enabled mine so feel free to send me one and maybe i'll give u my yahoo id or something. thanks agian... me.

lol i think were both a walking soap opera, i dont know why but any relationship i've chose in my life has never been easy. i guess its the challenge i strive for that uproots strong value on my rewards. this yet by far has to be the most challenging relationship i've dove into, and even tho i had so much time to do so, i feel so completely unprepaired. it would make me so happy if i could chat with u for a while instead of email. u've made the most sense out of all this then anyone i've gotten a responce too. if i can figure out how to private messege u on here i'll do so. excuse me but i'm new at this forum stuff, i'm usually not the type to air there dirty laundry on the net, so i hope u understand. thanks so much. me.

i get your point. i tried throwing her out the door once before. she walked 5 miles in the dark to my house crying on my doorstep cuz she knew she was at a loss. everytime i seem to disapear she comes running at my feet. so i can see how she's in need for control. only thing is i'm fine with taking control of a relationship if its in the right mindset. for instance my ex. she had problems with me being best friends with a female so i gave her ultimatums. they were stern but to the point. u like it or ship out. she chose to tone it down a knotch. i can do this for one acception. this is a best friend were talking about. i understand what you mean about my ball my court. i just dont know how to nicely give out ultimatums in a sensative situation. can u help me out on some wording? i need her to see that i'm not going to be dragged thru the mud anymore no more indecisiveness i know taking a break is the ultimate getting her back to interest in me. it seemed to work many times in the past. i told her i'm moving back to new york and she's concerned of our friendship. she keeps asking me if were going to remain friends. she's also talked about moving back there shortly after i do. how should i work this situation. i really respect your views. i've been posting on another forum here, check it out. www dot loveshack dot org/forums/t106672/ all my feedback there has been negative for the most part. everyone chooses to say that i should just get rid of her, but i question all of there value on the term best friend. take a look at whats been posted and tell me what u think. as i said u've given the best advice that i've read. tonight i had a conversation about this with a female aquainance of mine and she proceeded to tell me she was playing games and was having fun with what my best friend was doing to me. she say's she know's this because she does it to men all the time. i think to make a long story short i told the girl that she's phsyco for playing with men's hearts and maybe she should seek counciling. lol. my best friend is emotional. i do trust her with my everything. and have for 11 years now. i do know theres something happening that i'm not aware of, and maybe she isnt even aware of it either. thanks agian for your imput you've been a huge help.. awaiting your replies.

i'm in love with my best friend ok folks this is gonna take some time to break out the entire story, but bare with me. 11 years ago i met this girl on a campus. we became what we call best friends. back then i would have never concidered being with her for she wasnt my type. over the years i've grown to mature a lil in what i like to call it. she's always had a problem with any woman that i've dated. over the years i started noticing that maybe she has had some sort of feelings torwards me. she's been currantly in a 7 year relationship with this guy. she's never really taken any time for herself in the past 11 years that i've known her. its always break up with guy, next day with another. this left me zero time to act. out of an 11 year friendship the past 3 - 4 years have been so tough for me. my love has grown. this deep acking kinda love. hence we've always told eachother about everything there is to know about eachother, 3 years ago she came to me and told me that she wasnt in love with her boyfriend. how he was controling, wouldnt let her go anywheres. i've noticed this to, but kept my mouth shut for a very long time. he's always been jealous of our friendship. he wouldnt let us hang out, and if he did he kept a close eye on us. i guess i cant really say its just with me, but anyone of the male sex. he doesnt let her out of the house. for the past few years we've resorted to chatting online on yahoo messenger while she was at work because he wont let us hang out. this past may was the starting of all this. it started out with inocent flirting, which led to me breaking the ice (via yahoo) which i didnt want to do but never had the chance alone with her to tell her my feelings. sparks flew. weeks later we kissed for the first time in 11 years. it was absolutely amazing. for 4 day's we text messaged eachother saying one amazing comment to another. this was the best feeling i've ever had. it made perfect sense. best friends for 11 years and we were in love. as i said before for 4 day's we talked, we hung out once, but this came to an end. she started getting confused. i know she's in a relationship, i know she had problems, and i also know he's a phsyco controlling b/f. this went downhill from here.we went from talking everyday for 11 years to a dwindling once a week. then after a month she would come to me telling me she loved me agian.one day i couldnt handle the inconsistancy and said enough. she walked 4 miles to my house and cried on my door step while i told her i couldnt take the indecisivness anymore. a month went by and we emailed eacother several times a day, but all her emails were hatred towards me. she pushed me away. i left the scene and found a rebound for i was very hurt. a month into my relationship with this other woman my best friend started flirting agian. i broke up with this woman because i didnt love her, and could never love her. my best friend moved in once agian, but this time told me she wanted strickly friends with bennies type of thing. i think i was ok with this for a lil while, but i find she's been telling people that she's in love with her currant boyfriend. i know she's been trying to get out of her relationship with this guy for quite some time, but i guess he's been a lil persistent that they need to be together. they have a child together which i'm sure makes things difficult. she's left me in the dark on whats been going on with her and her boyfriend since i mentioned that i had these feelings for her. for 11 years she's always told me everything. we still insist on being best friends. this is a must, i could never part with her, but the feelings i have seem quite over powering. when i'm around her i just want to hold her close. she kisses me still to this day like were dating but show's nothing else as far as feelings. she tells me "i love you" which we've always said. nothings changed. i've never had a normal relationship in the past 11 years. she's always acted like the woman i was dating was ever good enough for me. i'm stuck. need advice. should i wait for her? should i let her go? letting her go seems to be so hard. i'm a guy that tends not to show his feelings, but for a month i cried the last time i tried letting her go thinking i was doing the right thing. i know she did the same. tonight is where i decided to write this because i was at the mall with her doing some christmas shopping. when we were done i drove her home. she insisted on me coming in to eat chinese food with her and her boyfriend and some friends that he had over. i sat down and noticed the front zipper was open on my leather coat so out of curiosity i reached in and found a yellow peace of paper. i unfolded it and inside it said "lets run away together (question mark) please!!, i'll pay.... love, Me" i sat back down in my seat and acted like i didnt read anything, and she didnt see me read it either. on my way home i called her on her cell phone and asked her to call me when she got a chance to break free from her boyfriend. she called a few hours later. i asked her about the note that was in my jacket. she replied " what note". i said " the note that you left in my front pocket of my coat" she at first denied that she left the note, but i know her hand writing. and her style. she then agree'd that she did write it and stated that she wrote it 4 months ago. but what i'm confused on is that my coat has been in storage throughout the summer, and i didnt break it out till 20 day's ago. the only time she has been at my house in the past 20 day's is within the past few day's. i'm so confused, because it seems like a cry for help. ive been trying to figure out exactly how bad her relationship is with her boyfriend but she refuses to talk about it. she still insists that she wrote the note 4 months ago when the weather was nice and no need for a coat. funny thing is i mentioned to her last week that i wanted to move home to ny and be with familly. she asked me not to go because she couldnt handle being so far away from me agian. so i asked her to come with me and she replied since she's in realistate that since the market crash happened that she was considering moving home anyways and that it was a great idea. i asked her if her boyfriend would be going with her and she said she doubted it. i feel kinda silly posting this story on the net but if anyone could give me some advice it would be greatly appreciated. seriously confused some guy from the east coast.