little_fish

Two months after my breakup I came down with the shingles, which incidentally occurred on New Year's. I have repeatedly been told that this is only seen in people over 60s, however it does manifest itself under extreme emotional stress. Of course, after saying this every doctor paused as if waiting to hear my story... and I did not want to give in to their little trick. But it DOES get better... So, dear istillluvu06, eat right, sleep a lot, exercise and find some hobby that will let you get you feelings out (painting seems to be working for me)!

Dear Rhonda, I have not had contact with my ex for over three months. How do I open communication lines again? What things should be addressed during our first conversation? Thank you in advance.

"Kinda" just does not cut it. I always ask my friends the same questions when they are in a similar situation, and the answer is always indicative of their state of mind and emotions. If you want to be with her you need to have a serious discussion about what you both want. She says she does not know then give her time to figure out what it is she wants, plus you need to figure it out too. You need to figure out how to make time for her in your busy life and how to have quality time that you mentioned. You both seem to have a lot of other things going on in your lives and heads at the moment. You seem to feel guilty that she is feeling so down, but this guilt is an indication that you are not treating her right. She gets emotional but in a way it shows her guilt too, since she does not know what she wants. Even if it means breaking it off with her completely, you should not feel trapped. Knowing her family brings a lot of pressure into the situation. However, if confronted by them, her sister in particular, you need to clearly explain to them that you are giving each other time to figure out what you want. Then, go strict NC at least for three months. I know it is incredibly hard but hopefully during this time you will both understand what you want a little better. Meanwhile, fight your depression off! Hope this helps!

Hey, hang in there! This is the toughest time of the year... It is not clear to me what you want from her, yourself and your relationship? Do you want to get back with her?