xkiss_shiningx

Well I talked to him the other day and he apologized to me. And I def wasn't expecting that because he never apologizes to people. Ever. Unless he really really means it I guess. Because it was the sweetest apology ever. He said he didn't mean to react that way and he felt bad that he did. I had a right to ask him those questions, he just got upset because he felt that that's all I thought he wanted me for. And he explained to me how he would never use me and he loves talking to me and hanging out with me, and he wouldn't have agreed to meet my aunt and uncle the other day if he was just using me.

I went out with this guy Steve for four months. Things were great. We ended up getting in a fight two months ago in his car because he thought I was playing him or something when we hooked up. It was one of those pointless fights that probably shouldn't happen. The next day we talked and ended up breaking up. He was getting stressed from school and a fulltime job and told me that he didn't love me like that. It went from perfect to us not being together in less than 24 hours. A few days later we talked again and he apologized for some of the stuff he said and we agreed we would be on a break. We didn't talk for two weeks and then I called him and he asked if I wanted to hang out. We went bowling and the entire time it was strictly as friends. He made no move on me. Afterwards I started making moves on him and we ended up hooking up. Of course, me being the idiot I am, called him the next day and asked him to stop by after work. He did and I asked what happened with the day before, and it turned into another argument with him saying that I'm being selfish keeping him at my house when he had a test the next day and that he wants to be friends with me, friends with benefits if I wanted that, but if I couldn't accept the fact that we arent together than we couldn't do that either. Then he stopped talking to me for six weeks. Eventually after six weeks I tried talking to him again and suprisingly, he responded. We agreed to hang out and ended up smoking and getting high.. which wasn't the best thing. We ended up hooking up because he really wanted to then and I went along with it because well, I really felt I had no control on the situation then. I really regret it now because I ended up getting scared with it. He wanted sex and I refused to give it to him... I mean, I didnt even give him sex when we were going out, and he respected that. I think he acted that bad because we weren't ourselves. Then we started talking to eachother a lot during the week and during the weekend, he asked me if I wanted to watch the superman returns movie since it just came out on dvd (I love superman). So I agreed and he came into my house for the first time in two months, and met my relatives who were visiting. Then we went to his grandparents house (where he lives). We talked about a whole bunch of things and completely skipped over the awkward phase that could have been there. He was so excited to tell me about certain things he's done in the past week or so and vice versa. We went to his room when we got to the house and started the movie. Instantly he tried to make moves on me. For a while I ignored them but then I started caving in and allowed it. Halfway through I freaked though and stopped, telling him that I knew I was going to regret it if I did it.. because who knew if he was going to get what he wants and then ignore me for another six weeks? After saying that, he said nothing. I got up and got dressed, and he did the same. We both went to his car and he drove me home. During the car ride I asked him to say something. And he refused to respond seriously. He would joke and laugh because he knew he was being a jerk. He knew he was hurting me and he just kept making jokes. When we got to my house I mentioned how he said he wanted to be frends a few weeks ago and he said he takes it back. Then he yelled out to me that he was going to burn the stuffed zebra I gave him while we were going out (during the night when I was at his house he still had it, he kept it by his bed). I got so mad and slammed the door, and went to my house. Now normally I'd say that hey, drop this guy he's a jerk. But Steve isn't that kind of guy. He doesn't do hookups and he rarely acts like a jerk. His friend told me that Steve tends to act like a jerk and make serious matters funny when he's hurt or trying to stop himself from getting hurt, or if he's upset. I'm hoping that's the case. I still really do care for him and I just want things to work out.