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  1. Hi all, I know there's several recent threads on this topic, I've read most all of them, but I didn't really find the help I was looking for so I'm posting this. My boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship until a few weeks ago. He was in Arizona, I was in Florida (I moved to Arizona for school and to be with him). He's always watched a lot of porn and I've known this and didn't have a real problem with it. I figured since we're not together he's not getting any it's fine. Well, now I've moved. We have sex often, and he still watches porn all of the time, right in front of me. He knows I don't like it, we've talked about it a couple of times. Things changed for a little bit...but then it went straight back to it. We have different schedules and need different amounts of sleep so sometimes I'll wake up at 1-2am and look accross the room and he's watching more porn. Now the reason why I have such an issue with it. I have pretty deep-rooted problems with porn and self esteem and appearance, like most girls except to an extreme level. I had/have (I'm almost over them but have a ways to go) several eating disorders that have mainly been caused by porn/porn stars/wanting guys to want me like that/etc. My boyfriend has been a major part in helping me get over some of my issues. But he doesn't understand why him constantly watching porn makes me want to binge and throw up. I've brought it up several times and nothing really seems to change for more than a week so I don't think there's a point in talking about it again. I'm trying to get over my issues but when my boyfriend is supporting what is hurting me most I get stuck and don't know what to do. Anyone have any advice?
  2. Thanks for the reply. I want to talk to him about it...but I don't know how to bring it up. We haven't see each other often and it's not something I want to talk about on the computer or phone. Maybe after I move I'll work up the courage to talk to him about it. I just didn't know how to bring it up. Thank you for helping me with that. After I move and we get settled I think I'll ask him to talk about it with me. I don't think he's capable of hurting a person, but that terrified me. I don't want him to think that I don't know that he won't hurt me. I get nervous about bringing up things like this.
  3. Hi all, Just venting. I've been holding this in for months and I don't know what to say or do about it since I think there's nothing to be said. So I'm just letting it out. I'm in a long distance relationship (for 8 more days! and then I'm moving to Arizona from Florida). We've been dating for over a year and friends (online, our friendship began online) for 2 beforehand. Before we were dating he was my confidant, he knows absolutely everything good and bad about my life. I was going through an extremely abusive relationship at one point (I'll call him J). It got really bad (I'm not going to go into much detail) and I ended up growing a backbone and running away while I could. J did anything he could to me to let me know that I was his, a possesion like a guitar, and that no one was allowed to "play" with his possesion. When I ran to Arizona after I broke up with J (I ran there because he was the only person in the world I felt I could trust and be safe with at the time) J was furious and swore to come after me. When I returned to Florida J was livid and broke into my apartment, other things happened and I managed to put him in jail. My boyfriend (I'll call him T) spent the summer here with me which overall was wonderful. We went to an outdoor metal festival in July and had a great time, T decided he wanted to go in the pit during a set and I was getting tired so I said I was going to sit this one out and go lie on the grass. Appearently while in the pit some guy knocked a girl down and didn't stop to help her up, so T helped her up but while doing that the guy that knocked her down kicked T in the head. T was furious, for good reason, there are just known rules for being in a pit. After the set T came and helped me up from the grass. That was the last set of the show that we wanted to see so we were going to walk back to the car. T was so livid that he stopped walking, went over to a fence, and punched it a few times. Hard enough to bleed a good bit but not break anything. For some reason that just stunned me. I didn't talk much the couple of hours home. Obviously everyone is capable of dangerous things like that, and I know T loves me and would never ever hurt me....but I can't help but have nightmares about him punching me like that. I don't know if I should even talk to T about it. I mean he knew I was a little upset about it...but it's been months and months. I know T would absolutely never do that...but I can't get it out of my mind. Sorry about the rant.
  4. I don't really have any tips or advice, but in 8 days I'm moving accross the USA (from Florida to Arizona) to be with my boyfriend. I'm thinking of ways to propose to him after I move. I'm excited but scared, I've never really moved away before. Not somewhere where I don't know anyone but my boyfriend and his friends and things. I think we're moving in together, but I might move in with him temporarily and lease (one year) an apartment in the same complex and then see.
  5. I don't hate wrapping, but I hate getting started. I can't measure/cut to save my life. My boyfriend is getting: Seinfeld (I think I spelled that wrong) Seasons 1+2 Home Improvement Season 1 a Miluakee Sawzall and blades The 365 days of Duct Tape calendar Craftsman 8 pc. Ratcheting Wrench Set And on New Years Eve he's going to get a sign that says "Marry Me?" written in little matchbox cars. (We love and collect old muscle ones so they'll be added to the collection afterwards)
  6. I won't be wiith him for christmas My mom wants me with her in Florida and his parents want him with them in Arizona. I still have awhile to think. I was thinking after the new year but before V-day.
  7. Survictor- that's a really cute idea. I might do something similar, although we live together and he'd be like why in the world is she knocking...
  8. Hi, I'm a girl wanting to propose to my boyfriend. I was previously engaged and it did not end well so I've been skittish about engagement/marriage for awhile. A couple months ago my boyfriend proposed in his own way, and I said yes, but was still a little worried and he knew this. Now I'm no longer worried and want to show him. I believe actions speak better than words, so I was thinking about proposing back to him...if that makes any sense to anyone but me. I've searched the web and things but they're all mainly guy-proposing-to-girls ideas (of course) and involve cute ring ideas (no ring involved here). I came up with a couple of ideas but I'm looking for more. Help me brainstorm please! a) write the proposal in sidewalk chalk in our parking space (although I'd need to find a way to make sure he got out of his car and not just parked on top of it without noticing). b) taking wash-off glow-in-the-dark crayons and writing it above our bed/on the wall behind the tv etc. c) make a recording of "our" song and ask at the end, put it on a cd, and tape it to his steering wheel one morning. Thanks!
  9. Quietgrl - I have a similar experience. I've been in a LDR with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We first met over an online service a few years ago. He's from Arizona and I'm in Florida. We quickly became great friends and talked every day possible. We both went out with people off and on but remained really interested in each other, without the other knowing. I got into a relationship that got serious way too fast and ended up getting engaged before the time was "right". I got really confused and called my friend from Arizona for emotional support and help. I ended up flying out there and spending a long weekend with him just talking about things. We ended up revealing our long-held-back feelings for each other. I came home and broke it off with the other guy finally realizing he was unhealthy for me (drank way too much, light drugs, very dependent etc). We talked about us for awhile longer, He came to Florida to visit me a little bit later. I made another trip out there and he asked me to be his girlfriend. A little over a year later we only have 23 days left until the waiting is over. He is flying out here on Dec 27th to help me drive to Arizona. Through out all the dates and relationships I had while I knew him, I never ever stopped thinking about him. Sometimes it's worth the risk.
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