confusionpetal

i don't know. I can't seem to. sorry i was so incoherant when i posted that..

Hi. This is a very, very weird, long story, but I need to talk to someone and I didn't know where else to go please bear with me I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. About a year and a half ago, I realised I was in love with both my boyfriend and another friend. I told them both, and they tried to help me cope. it didnt really work, and for the last year ive been getting increasingly depressed. About 3 months ago, my boyfriend told me i could do whatever i wanted with my friend. she was going away for a couple of months, so i let her know so that she could think about it. recently shes started telling me that im being tragic and that its just self pity, and i thought shed just come to a wrong conclusion. however, talking to my boyfriend, said shes gotten sick of it and wants it to stop. she told him this (theyre really good friends too) i asked her this, and she basically agreed. very recently i talked to my boyfriend about it and he said that she had told him that she has a crush on someone else. it feels like shes just making excuses (she says she wants to help) but really just wants it to go away, because its making things difficult for her. i dont think shes being honest with me, and i dont know what to do about it. i just failed to work up the courage to end things and i feel pathetic. help?

I don't think so; I can see myself feeling the same way about these two in 10 years. easily. I don't know what to do.

I guess so. But she's always been there, you know? She's been my best friend, really. for four years I know what you're saying, I just don't know whether it actually would get better.

oh, I know. And I appreciate it. I've been trying to change, and I've been trying to stop loving her and it's just not good. I can't keep it up for more than a couple of weeks before it gets too much. I just.. I don't know. i think stopping contact with someone i love is too hard for me; im a little fragile.

not contacting her would kill me, really.and it's not that simple; they're both good friends too. they even went out for a while, a couple of years ago. and i know it's not really fair to either of them. but i dont think the alternative is fair to me, you know? and i've gotten into trouble by being too nice before.

i love them both so much that i can't imagine loving one of them more. if that makes sense.

I can't really occupy my time at the moment, unfortunately. and you're right, talking to someone is helping. I've talked to them both about it, actually. They've both known for a couple of months now, although I've tried to keep my boyfriend happy with how things are. And he's easy enough to please. I just.. I mean, I know I should probably limit contact with her. But there are a million good reasons I fell in love with her in the first place. and I've tried falling out of love; it gave me nightmares.

I've been trying that kind of thing, unfortunately. I've done everything I can think of. It's just getting hard to occupy my time, as I'm on study leave at the moment and have all day to sit around and think. I suppose I should explain my situation better. The three of us have been friends for almost four years. The other two went out for a short while, a couple of years ago, and I've been with the one I'm with for 16 months. I think I've always loved them both, though. I just didn't realise it until about a year ago.

see.. that's kind of where I Don't want to be in a year. But I don't know what to do. And this isn't a recent thing; I've been trying to deal with it for a year now. I just don't know. Which is, I suppose, why I'm on here.

no, that makes sense, kitty. and I've made a choice. I'm just not coping with it very well. I guess it's basically the same as not being with someone you love, you know?

hello.. I was just wondering, because I've been reading around a little; several people have said that it's easily possible to fall in love more than once. What about at the same time?