ckman2

I think that's where I'm super confused. I really don't know where the line is drawn in our relationship - I think I partly asked her out because I wanted to get a line drawn! (and see what it is in her mind) I find her incredibly hard to read - she is close and distant. I felt like our "get togethers" - were in fact "dates by de facto" - really enjoyed them but I just need to know whether she is interested or whether I should just keep her as a friend and look elsewhere. EDIT: Sort of gets me a bit too because she is away for a week (she left the next day after I asked her out for a date) on a pre-planned trip with her girlfriends - so I won't hear from her for a bit.

Sorry - I messed up my previous post in my happiness. I asked her out on a DATE - and she said sure. Big difference (but for me its a big thing cause I haven't really done the dating thing - in the past.. it just jumped to "going out") although I'd like to ask her out eventually if things go well - just taking things very slowly because we are both very busy. By non-dates I mean "getting to know each other" outings. We just did fun things like go to theatre, different attractions, beach, hikes, outdoorsy stuff - never at each others houses. Never have done anything close to intimate. Just wondering what changes from "getting to know person" outings to "dating" outings (confusing eh).

Look at me, I finally asked her out [[EDIT: on a date]] and she said sure. Now what?!??!?! I've been liking our non-official dates for a quite a while now (12 times over 4 months) - don't really want to change anything... but what changes when you start going out [[on dates]]? What do I do? Starting to get nervous things will change - post dateum gitters? Advice?

Another question: This ones for those of you who have been in "long distance relationships" or "busy schedule" relationships. What is the minimum seeing time to make a relationship work. The girl I'm interested in has a crazy schedule and so do I - If I go out with her, I might only be able to see her every 2 or 3 weeks. Do relationships like this work? Or, does one need more continuous contact?

Cool. I'm going to muster up the courage to ask her out on an 'official' date. At least then I can get my barrings. And if she doesn't want anything more serious that a friendship, that sucks but I can live and I won't have to spend more time throwing the thought around in my mind anymore. Man, understanding signs from girls is tough :S Anyway, Thanks dude - you rock.

Hi everyone, I`ve been 'getting together' (meeting for fun activities) with this girl for 4 months now (8 occasions) and I have no idea if I should ask her out / ask her out on an official date - don't even know if she thinks what we are doing is dating. So, yes, I am confused. I want to ask her out on a date. I like her but my feelings are only 7/10 strong for her (I usually don't have stronger feelings until I get to know a person better - usually when I am in a relationship). I haven't got any obvious bad signs - (ignoring me, etc.). I haven't got any super good signs that she likes me (where's the effort on her part). Can't tell if she is just trying to have me as a friend or wanting to go out with me - she doesn't make the effort on her part - mostly because she has an extremely busy schedule. So, yes, the point. No signs from her either way, she isn't dating anyone, I'm rusty at dating/relationships since I haven't been in one for 18 months. How do I tell if she wants me to ask her out? What signs do I look for?

Hi everyone, Have been going on get-togethers / dates for 4 times now and I really like this girl. I'm thinking of asking her out or at least asking her out on an express date (instead of the current implied). Situation: I am unemployed at the moment, have lots of free time and don't own a car. I have good prospects of being employed but unfortunately I didn't time my entrance into the industry very well. I suspect it will be another 2 months before I get a job - then I plan to buy a car. Problem: I'm not sure if I should wait to ask her out until I have a job and buy a car (my self-esteem has been hit a bit by not having both) or try for it in the next couple weeks. I usually take relationships slowly so I could just delay until I get a job - would this send the right message though. I know this whole thing might sound silly to some - but it is really eating at me - what should I do?

That is the best damned forum reply I have ever seen. Thanks for the advice - you made my day!

Hi everyone, =============Preamble============= After a little bit of wait (see this thread for the beginning of the story - BTW, forgot old password, back with new user name), I'm back with an update on the situation. First of all, I decided not to call again because I got busy and decided to forget about her. I did - and moved on - then, ironically as if girls can sense these things, just as I completed a big success with my work, she calls ! A nice self-esteem boost since I hadn't dated for a while. So yes, to all those fretting about people not calling back after a date, my advice is to move on and hey, maybe she will call about 2 and a half weeks later and apologize for the wait as was in my case. Anyways, we had a second get-together/date and it was alright - I wanted to go hiking at a nearby hill and she did too, but it got dark so we decided not to go. The vibes weren't as aligned as the first time and but it was still nice and I enjoyed myself. ==============The story============= So here's my situation. I like this girl but I found that the date today was a bit too structured. It feels like that because of the whole being "set-up" by a mutual friend. How do I break that feeling? Also, I have a small fear of getting more serious with her. I went out with a girl once before who was friends with the same mutual friend (not really a setup but a chance encounter) and that relationship was really good and lasted 2 years (4 years ago broken up). Problem is, I have to see that person several times a year because we are tied through the mutual friend - which doesn't bother/hurt me anymore but is still a bit awkward. I don't really want the same situation with this new girl if it gets serious and then ends in a breakup again. So, yeah, if I was seeing this girl and wasn't set up, I'd be very happy - but since it is a "set-up" it feels a bit forced, artificial and there is this lingering fear. Are these normal/valid concerns? Anyone have any suggestions to make it feel more "real" for me? Any help would be greatly appreciated!