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Anyone got any suggestions? I've kinda decided that since she's gotten over me, I should do that same...but should I at least apologize about before or what?

Okay...to comprehend the current situation, you gotta know the back story. I'll include a summary. Around December of last year, the girl I liked for 3 years (M) told me that she "kinda" liked me, so I was like, SCORE. Over christmas, we did very little things, and at semi-formal in late January, she decided she didn't like me, and didn't want to go out with me, and dumped me. (Not that we really went out to begin with) I was kinda emo about it, you might have remembered some of my topics from back then, whatever. Flash forward to May-June. Around then, I remembered this girl (J) I used to like in elementary school. I met her at math class, she was my best friend's cousin (he wasn't my best friend at the time), and I thought she was pretty cute. Through some crazy coincidence, she plays maple story, as do I, and we met again. I invite her to a couple outing with my friends, since she knows a couple of them, and it goes fairly well. My best friend tells me that she really does like me too, and I am so glad, not a worry in the world. Then diasater struck. My "ex" comes and tell me how over the couple of months that I havn't really been in her life that she realized that she really liked me. Gave me a huge touching speech and all. Hard to say no, right? Especially when I am not even sure of Janice's intentions. I decided to just go along with it for now. So I offically got my first girlfriend. Woot? No. I kinda hinted to Janice that I had a girlfriend, and even revealed it to her through a maple story conversation in friend chat, while talking to someone else. Seems like she got the message, when we went to wonderland (think six flag) she was fairly cold to me. After a water ride, she was all wet, and she was wearing white, so I decided to offer her my spare shirt, as a gesture of friendship. Apparently, she took this the wrong way and thought she had a chance (oh she did, my girlfriend wasn't there, and man, resisting is hard) We were pretty close through out the evening, even though nothing happened, I had a quick meeting of her parents, nothing much after. After this, I had a huge dilemma. Break up with my girlfriend of less than 1 month for J, who arguably came first, or stay with my girlfriend? After careful consideration and consult of some of my closest friends, and LUE, I decided to go for J. I asked her out to a date on the boardwalks of Habourfront, and through out the date, it was pretty good, except she was just so god damn quiet. Now I realize it's probably because she's shy, but I was stupid and didn't realize it then. I was fustrated and didn't know how to deal with it. I did it the worst way possible. Pretending nothing happened. I ignored her from then on, and I havn't talked to her on MSN or call since, and I stayed with my girlfriend. Flash forward again, November. After much thought, I realized my gf and I has nothing in common. I mean, it's good to be different to keep things fresh, but we had NOTHING in common. We were practically opposites. She also hid my existence from her parents and can't go out much. Not her fault, but still, it bothered me a lot. I also realized the horrible mistakes I've made (not that I didn't realize them before, just that I didn't feel like I needed to do anything about it) I broke up with her after 5 months. Thanks to the magic of facebook, I came into contact with J again. At first we were just exchanging formalities, oh hi, how are you, oh it's been okay, you? Etc. Then we realized we had so much in common (I realized this before as well) and I thought she was still as attractive as when I left her. I was also kind of surprised at how warmly she reacted to me. I thought I had a chance. I was wrong. Probably. I don't know. Looking through her wall, and through some mutual friends and her cousin/my best friend, I found out that she's goin...well, not going out at the time, just an internet relationship with someone from Virginia (we live in Toronto), that she met on maple story. I know my sources might not be 100% accurate, but the virginia part and internet relationship part should be. How she met him might be iffy. So now, this guy, 2 years older than us, is here in Toronto to visit her. I think that's freaky as hell, I would never go out with someone online. Then again, I got back in contact with her online, so I'm not one to talk. Maybe I just want her because I can't get her anymore, but yeah, I don't know what I'm thinking. Another part of me keeps thinking that she's inviting me to go places with her friends just so she can get back at me. Or to show me that she didn't need me. Or maybe because I invited her to a couple things with my friends...I don't know. I don't even know what I want, or what I should do. Any advice on that? SUMMARY: Liked girl A for 3 years, go out for short time, dumped, like girl B, girl A comes back, goes out with girl A for 5 months, broke up with her, kinda think I like girl B again, not sure.

No sex yet. But yeah, I don't know. I just don't want to regret something I do, but I want to do SOMETHING to move on with life.

Yeah, I think I'm going to just break up.

Argh I was going to break up with her today. Then she shoved in my locker a magnet/note/selfmade thing It's like piece of paper in the shape of a 5, then with magnets on the back. Happy 5 months! Thanks for not giving up on me =) HOW CAN I DO IT NOW? T_T

I'm really conflicted whether to break up with her or not. On one hand, I still like her, kinda. On the other hand, I don't feel like it's going anywhere and I feel so contrainted. Even if I did, I wouldn't know how to do it.

Argh...I dont know. I walked home again with her today and it seems fine and normal again.... I don't know, I like her and enjoy the relationship when she's around, but I doubt it when she isn't. What's wrong with me?

I don't know, the fact that I like her still. I dont see it working, but I still feel something for her. Maybe the fact that I've wanted her for like 3 years, and finally getting it, is a bit hard to let go. I don't even know myself.

I know it's out of her control, but as you say it doesn't make it any easier for me. I don't know if we're even going to the same university, so I don't know if we're going to be able to last through a long distant relationship. Ahh I dont know -_-

Well, she walks me home then she bus home, because I live pretty close to the school, and that's basically all the time we have. She has to get home at a certain time, or she gets in trouble, or something. Her parents doesn't disapparove boyfriends, they completely outlaw and ban it. She can't HAVE a boyfriend. We went 5+ months hiding, and to be honest, it's tiring on both ends to have to hide. I talked to her, but when she started crying, I dont know, I just...kinda feel sorry? And I just can't bring myself to talk about it anymore... I am not even sure what I want.

I mean we walk home everyday, but we don't go out or anything. We do things affection wise, like kissing, holding hands, hugging, the works, but yeah, I mean, time spent outside of school, near zero. As to what falling is saying...I understand. But if I dont make a decision that I'm happy with as well, I'll just be making it better...for her and for now. In the long run it's going to hurt her more, by pretending nothing is wrong, and letting it snowball into more and more attachment.

Yeah, we're both in grade 12. I don't know, maybe it's just the fact that we don't really DO anything. Her parents are super strict, and yeah, they don't even know I exist. I just dont see this relationship going anywhere I suppose. Nothing really sparked it, it's just a gradual progression I suppose.

No one has advice?

It's been 4 months and a bit, and I don't know, I just don't feel it much anymore. I still like her, but i don't know, not like I was before. It's really complicated...i guess. It's been like 3 years and a bit since I've known/liked her, and yeah big story behind that: In summary: Known her for 3 years. Gave her note in grade 10 (now in grade 12) Nothing happened She decided she kinda liked me last year christmas Dumped at Semi formal late january I decided to try to go out with someone else Came running back in june this year, saying how much she likes me and stuff. Decided to go with her instead of other girl Go out for like 5 months Now I am not feelin it. Maybe. Kinda. Dunno. Dunno if I should break it off or not. I talked to her about how I felt today afterschool... Okay, so I walked home with her as usual, and it was pretty bad. It was raining pretty bad too, so that kinda helped/not helped set the mood. I walked home with her but she/i didn't say anything the whole way. We usually walk to my place together then she'd get on the bus. Until near the end, I just told her what was on my mind. She started crying, and she was like she can't give me any more than she have or something and something like how she sees something in me in like grade 9 but it took her like 2 years to go through with it. She said there are things I would like even though I dont say it, it's not that she wouldn't do it, but it is just that it takes her longer or somethign and how I had to be patient... Something about how it isn't how she planned it would turn out...not like anything, but just today, she said how she was supposed to be happy, then later she was like how i was supposed to just tell her it's over and she wouldn't cry and she would just go. I told her maybe we should take a break, but she was like if we do that that would probably just mean a break up and she wasn't sure if she could get back into it after a while. Something about how she hide in a box, and doesn't like to get hurt, and I brought her out of the box, and if I broke up with her she doesn't know how long it's going to take for her to be able to come out again. She was like she didn't believe in like falling in love or like even boyfirends in high school, but I changed that for her...and how she seemed to have known me forever, even though it's only been 3 years, while the friends she HAS known forever, seemed like strangers compared to me. I told her that I needed to think about it and will give her an answer tomorrow. I don't know, I feel really bad, but she seem really clingy. So I think I might have to end it after all, since I dont think we can work it out. This post is in no particular order, I just tried to remember what she said and put together in a semi-sensical manner. (Is that a word?) Anyways.. comment, suggestions, whatever?