Don_Eduardo

You assume too much. Girls don't "choose" someone because they are shy or they have a nice car, there are other factors involved... Look beyond the mirror of your self-concept... Your style of thinking becomes your reality... Believe in yourself, have confidence and girls will come flocking!

I think, ESPECIALLY SO with shy people, you have to differentiate between their intentions and their outwardly observable social mannerisms/behaviours. Many shy people have difficulty linking the two.. Example: you don't feel [or care about] the effects of dehydration until you are dehydrated. The point is, have more empathy with these people, step into their shoes, and you'll see that intentional rudeness is more of an anomaly than a commonality!

What sub-group of the human race do you refer to by "people"!!!? Australians? Wake up pal, everyone is different, with different interests. And lo! shyness is one of those LOL

Dude, the guy's worried about being around womens' company. Give him the chance to build himself up a bit more before introducing this [debatable] part.

Try not to worry about it so much. Things will turn out OK. Be positive - by all means keep the angst - but channel it more into your individuality and uniqueness; just let people know the lovely person that you are "A faithful heart makes wishes come true"

I love the death-stare!! I find it super-sexy! That being said however, I don't go out and get girls to do that to me deliberately. I just find it real cool when girls do a mock death-stare, it's such a funny and cute expression to make!

No, you're just fine the way you are

Why oh why does it have to be a game?!!? That just makes it sound like we're all players competing against each other. I prefer to look upon life as a co-operative process, and if that is what makes me be alone then 'so be it Jedi'.

YES!! I have this problem too!! I have an idea what it is, what I've found is that once I've gotten to know the girl more as time goes on, then phone conversations become more natural and free-flowing. That being said, there's nothing as natural and free-flowing as face to face conversation. Cos communicating involves HEAPS of non-verbal components too eh.

Hi, you sound like you really miss your friend's company. Try not to be sad about it. Be brave, things will work out. See if you can talk to her about what's bothering you about your friendship. Don't forget her. Good friendships take work and all have their ups and downs, but in the end you'll be more than satisfied that you've kept on with your friendship. Have faith in your friend and try not to get down on yourself.

Hi, it sounds as though you're really missing her. At the very least she sounds like a good friend to have. Best thing to do is respect her wishes and not pressure her into doing anything. Phone her up and talk about how you feel to her, but try not to dump all your feelings on her. You don't want to smother her. A good thing to remember is that she respects you and knows you respect her, like try not to think of your mutual respect as something that needs to be continually maintained. Also, don't assume that her actions (regarding her not hanging out with you so much) are necessarily a reflection of something you have done when you've been around her in the past. You might need to do some forgetting in order to do some remembering. What I mean is, the last thing you want to do is forget her right? So how about hanging out with some of your other friends for a while? And then, on those occasions when you do get to spend some time with her, you'll then be able to readily acknowledge that such time will be all the more special, and indeed, memorable. So when you reflect back on your time together, won't it be the quality rather than the quantity of your encounters that really matter in the end?

Hi, sounds like you're hurting pretty bad over this. Try not to take it to heart. Have you tried phoning him? Email and MSN are good but there's nothing like a good phone call to set things straight. When you do eventually reach him on the phone, by all means talk about where you think you may have scared him off, just don't suddenly lay it on the line. Approach the sensitive subject tactfully and respectfully, while also being mindful not to 'rob' him of any of his experience. In other words, don't change the focus of the subject by relating what he is saying back to yourself. Yes, by adding a personal flavour this is a good way for you to understand what he is saying, although it may be best just to keep these thoughts in the back of your mind to better allow the topic at hand run its course. However, don't pretend even for one second that by staying relatively neutral you're being altruistic, this is reconciliation here after all. Okay all the best. Hope all goes well with your friend.

About that 'right guy' hmmm. I'd be pretty envious if this dude came along alright, even tho she's just a friend. Actually there's lots of things about her that I'm envious of so it's probly more in line with that. These aren't even to do with dating, but more along the lines of having her life sorted out, having good people skills, having loads of hobbies she enjoys, having heaps of friends, good job prospects, etc. You get the picture. Her getting the 'right guy' would just be yet another addition to a long list of things she has that I don't currently have but wish to have (although for me it'd be the 'right girl' lol). Soon I won't be able to handle being even just her friend anymore cos she'd end up being a painful reminder of all the things I want but can't have. I.e it would be VERY hard for me to be around her when she's happily married, got kids, got a great job, owns a house in a rich suburb, has two cars and lots of nice furniture and trappings, etc. Cos for me it seems like that stuff's never going to happen, basically due to my shy nature and lack of confidence and people skills. It's like she's got it all going for her, and I've got nothing and that just makes me feel real angry and depressed at the way things have turned out. So if it's her that sets that off in me, I'm just going to have to cope being fully alone again, because no hope = no fear.

Actually, yeah as time goes by the friends option becomes more and more natural. It WOULD be like dating my sister, so yeah I'm happy with being friends. Earlier on (like last year), no I was way too scared 2 ask her out! Actually I do remember her putting on the table quite early on in our friendship that she 'doesn't date', so this is a pretty good indication, is it not!!? And as far as I know she still doesn't date, like she said to me recently she simply wants to wait for 'the right guy to come along', so I could take that as a hint that I'm not the 'right guy'. Yeah by all accounts and indications and impressions she gives off she's a friend, which is great, I like having her as a friend.