divorcedkevin

thanks for the advise everyone i am glad i can come to a place and vent without being judged..no i did not want the divorce she did and did not give me a reason..we were together since we were 15 so i think i deserve an explanation and so do my kids...when they ask questions it hurts because i do not know what to tell them....as for him she brings his * * * along even tho i ask her not to because it is just to stressful of a situation,.he gives dirty looks and says things to me that i have been a man and have ignored..but am afraid i will kick his azz very soon and do not want to.....

me and my wife have been divorced for about a year now and it still hurts so much!she still calls me a lot and complains about her new man and of course like a dumb azz i listen.....i still want to be her friend but it is so hard to hide my feelings for her...this weekand she is driving my kids up from california and she is letting me have them for the night so she can go party in vegas i guess...everytime i see her all the old feelings of love get so strong!i still have no closure with her because she will not answer any of my questions.....how do i control these feelings when i see her?how should i act?what do i say to her?

the funny thing about the the 40s is that is not the reason she did not like me she told me that herself...she would not tell me the real reason.as for the drinking i was working my off and would like to come home and have a beer..in a lot of ways i am a mans man that is the fact....i would have one on monday,thursday,and sunday..what is wrong with...just because her mom was an alcoholic does not mean i am.....that is not a whole lot of beer..i had control and never lost control.....she just liked to contorl things i guess...dinner had to be just right,breakfast,i always kept the house clean for her out of respect for her because my back was injured and i was layed off work....she said that a dirty house was fine...her mom was a major pig so she was raised that way...i was not a pig..i would want to spend time with her while my parents watched the kids for a few weeks while they were out of school and all she wanted to do was sit around the house......yet she does all this fun stuff with this other guy the same stuff i wanted to do with her...what is up with that!she used the excuse we had no money to do things,but in fact we had plenty!i would save money to do things with the kids and her and she did not want to...so the money i saved for that i baught the kids nice cloths and her nice cloths...she had nice cloths while never baught anything for myself....i remember one valentines day where she wanted me to trade in out small car for a new van...so i did i got her a 2002 brandnew dodge grand caravan for her with my own money and she still was not happy.she wanted a cadi suv....a 50,000 vehicle in which was way to expensive payments were over 700 a month....no matter what i did it was not good enough.....she would forget to wish me happy birthday,happy valentines day as well as other holidays///i never forgot a holiday or birthday for her...yet she calls me and tells me what this other guy has done for her in which was no different than what i did....i am so confused,,,,the only time she would she loved me was in the bedroom during making love....she would even get mad when i told her she looked sexy or payed her compliments...she is 5 foot 1 and weighs 160 which a little bit on the thick side,but she was sexy...she only liked sex one way and never liked to try new things,,,i never forced her too either...i was very understanding...most couples dicsussed sex she never liked to and would call it dirty....she never aimed to pleasure me it was me always pleasuring her....she would only give it up once every 3 -4 months......yet this guy is pressuring her to have anal sex and force her into sleeping with him...i do not understand her....as for her family i have a feeling they did not like me because i would stand up to them and not take there vrap in telling me how to run my life what is wrong with that....

HELLO EVERYONE! As you may all well know I have posted on here already and really appreciate all the advise I have received! one more thing tho and that is how do i get over the hurt after an eight year divorce and together since we were 15 and three little angels later in which are my three kids !my stomach still gets tied into knots and i feel hurt everyday even now 1 year later...i tried dating other women, but it for some reason does not feel right...me ex is all i have ever know we basically taught each other everything in life! she calls me more than twice a week and complains about this new dude she has and how he treats her...i tell her that you got rid of a good man who treats you well and settled for him...she agreed that i was right just like she agreed that her family and my family was the main reason we got a divorce in the first place...she also agreed that her family kept saying things to her about me ever since the beginning,,, she told me she broke it off with him.. then tells me that her mom says to her not to let me back in her life or else she would have no family...is that not wrong to do? i then broke down and started to practically beg for her to come back and we both started crying...am i a wimp for doing that? then now a week later she still believes the same things we talked about and now is back with him...i mean this guy yells at her and raises his hand at her, and her family seems to treat him nice...what is up with that? i was totally nice and respectful and got treated like dirt.. i even let her stepdad see the birth of my third child because he has never seen that before...that is how nice i was....she does things with this guy she never done with me....for example going to magic mountain or knota berry farm, Vegas and even letting him give her hikeys....every time i asked her lets do something she said no.... I want to believe she still loves me because love like this does just not fade away, at least i would like to believe that.. i keep asking myself what I did wrong....there was a time she use to go out with friends while i sat home, and when i had friends she said they were not the friends i should have....i always kept the house clean took care of the kids while she worked as a nurse over night because of a back injury i aquired in 2001...this is where everything went down hill for us...on top of her family doing what they were doing...is it my fault? she left me with nothing and I mean with nothing! why i still love her i do not know! i guess with all the bad memories I still have lots of good ones to....she use to call me names and even hit me when she got angry,,,, this is stuff I left out before so everyone knew the whole story...her mom was a drunk for awhile and I even put her first stepfather in jail because he was a petafile who was messing with her younger sister.. no one would call so i did...that is another time things got bad with her family....I did the right thing right? we lived with her mom for 3 months one time and all she did was complain that I kept her house clean for her because we were living there....was i wrong with that to....do not get me wrong i did a few bad things to I guess....I was afraid of loosing her one time so i told her that there was no one else that would put up with her crap.... I use to take care of mentally challanged kids and would come home and took my kids outside to play with the neighbors kids and gave her time to study for school and would have a 40 of beer.. i s that wrong...she then called me an alcoholic because i had a 40 3 times a week....is that wrong? when i think about it i feel she used me to get through school and then when she got her career she let me go....could i be onto something,,,, when we made love tho you could feel the love! unless that was deceiving too.. she never used to let me hug her or even kiss her because i was being to smothering....I would write her little love notes and she would ask me what i did wrong....what is wrong with her or was it me?

Online Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 4 hey and how are you! really there is no good advise for this accept in time you will heal and meet someone who will fullfill your every need...last year my wife said she wants a divorce after nine years of marriage.we were together since we were 15 tho which made it even harder!her family kept inviting themselves into our marriage inwhich made us fight all the time...we have had three kids on top of it in which i have done everything for since we were married...anyways one day she says she wants a divorce because she wanted to find herself in life..in which to me was a lame excuse..i was gone for less than a week when i found out she was already with another man!i know the hurt you are going through...people tell me that over time i will heal,well it has been a year and i still feel the same about her as i did the first time i met her 15 years ago....the love never goes away we just find a way to deal with the hurt!goodluck i hope this story helped..

hey and how are you! really there is no good advise for this accept in time you will heal and meet someone who will fullfill your every need...last year my wife said she wants a divorce after nine years of marriage.we were together since we were 15 tho which made it even harder!her family kept inviting themselves into our marriage inwhich made us fight all the time...we have had three kids on top of it in which i have done everything for since we were married...anyways one day she says she wants a divorce because she wanted to find herself in life..in which to me was a lame excuse..i was gone for less than a week when i found out she was already with another man!i know the hurt you are going through...people tell me that over time i will heal,well it has been a year and i still feel the same about her as i did the first time i met her 15 years ago....the love never goes away we just find a way to deal with the hurt!goodluck i hope this story helped..

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS REPLIED TO MY MESSAGE!I GREATLY APPRECIATE THE ADVISE...I GUESS THE GOOD ADVISE COMES FROM THOSE WHO YOU DO NOT KNOW!I JUST WISH I CAN GET OVER HER I MEAN EVERYTIME I SEE HER I STILL GET TONGUE TIED AND MY HEART BEATS MILLION MILES A MINUTE,,,!IS THIS NORMAL?

thanks to everyone for responding to this i greatly appreciate it...i know you are all right,but is it really that easy....i mean she is really the only girl i have ever been with...we shared our first everything together...what about my children that are living with her,whatkind of an example are they setting for them....

hello everyone, i have been divorced for about a year now,but i am still very much in love with my ex wife...i mean we were together since we were 15 on and off and gotten married in 1998 and had 3 beautiful kids..one day she says she wants a divorce!out of the blue...her family from the beginning caused problems in the marriage,so we moved away,but she missed them so we moved back...it started her step dad was constantly filled her head with crap and her mom the same...this caused fights between us and i changed into a jerk,,,the thing is i loved her unconditionally no matter how she treated me and never loved her any different...she calls me everyday telling this new man yells at her bosses her around and treats her like crap...so i told her that you dumped me for someone like that... i treated her like a queen what in the hell happened....i told her her family was not going to be happy till i was gone and she said i was right...deep down i feel she still loves me very much ,but is afraid to loose her family....why else would she call me all the time and talk to me so much...i ask her questions and never get a streight answer...i ask her if she still loves me and she will not answer,,,,amonst other questions...what should i do?should i fight for her or just let her go?