ngfl

PTMD, I was once exactly the same way, over 10 years ago, but I got myself out of it through some positive experiences, but I think I can help. Send me a pm if you're interested.

The only thing that matters are his actions and words and if he's not calling, then he's not interested. It does no good to dwell on the 'why'. All of us can give you reasons, excuses, possibilities of why he didn't call, but it's all speculation and educated guesses. Just move on with the mentality that you've too much self-respect for anyone to treat you that way. It's empowering once you do that.

Although my experience was much shorter, I can relate when she ended it with me and showed no emotion. It was as if everything we had gone through wasn't real and simply a sham. Writing and reading about it and letting myself grieve was important. I didn't know how to deal with not talking to her as we always spoke on the phone for at least an hour before we slept. I wrote a goodbye letter and started a blog, writing a letter to her everyday for a month. At the end of the month, I wrote my last letter to her - my form of closure. I called her a few times the first few days, but after that, decided a clean break was the best way for me to move on. Looking back, I still miss her and I never thought I would get to the place of being healed, but I'm on my way. Hang in there, it only gets better.

I went through the same problem and am actually in the same boat as you right now. Going through the bad boy stage was fun and I had much more success in terms of women being interested. I agree with you completely that there needs to be a balance of bad boy/nice guy. It gets tiring putting up a this alter ego, a la Tyler Durden, that treats women with a lack of respect and hurtful behavior. If you let it consume your "real self", you then realize that you are an a**hole. For now I've discovered that I need to be myself, which is a combination of a sarcastic and humorous guy on the outside, with a bit of a mean streak, but once you get to know me, a kind person with a good heart. I like to call it 'bad boy with a heart'. My handle is 'ngfl', which is a phrase that I've seen often lately, all over the web and in various books, with promises of landing all the women of your dreams. In reality, it should be "predictable guys finish last" because in the end, women still want a nice guy and to have a relationship with someone who will connect with them emotionally.