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davejohn

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About davejohn

  • Birthday 03/09/1961

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  1. Break the ice perhaps by telling a joke. How about "would you like to come back to my place and see my painted egg collection". Be able to laugh at the situation and yourself. She is obviously very nervous.
  2. I agree with this lady and I don't know why he gave you a time limit. don't sit around moping though. Get up and change your life, perhaps you could start by going for small walks, reading a little poetry or joining a few dance classes and eating and drinking health stuff. Don't let this guy be the centre of your universe. I hope this poem by mary oliver will help to cheer you up. Wild Geese You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving accross the landscapes, over the prairies and deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-- over and over announcing your place in the family of things.
  3. I have never been overly jealous until now. My girlfriend is a flirt, and does have male friends. This is the first time I have loved someone for 20 yrs. She is 54. 10 yrs older than me but we are hopelessly in love and are both scared of loosing each other. Some of the things she has said and done have caused alarm bells to ring as I was very hurt by that lady I split up with 20 yrs ago. So I guess this problem stems from there. But how do I go on from here.
  4. I have spent several days reading the various threads written about jealousy. My heart goes out to all the people who have the same problems as I. As i have stated before, I love my current girlfriend so much but jealousy is going to kill it. I have booked myself in to see a councillor, so I am trying to turn things around. I am also very scared of the future. Is there any light in the tunnel. I have only had one positive response. has anyone managed to beat jealousy, male or female. My girlfriend can also be jealous, but I can cope with that. My self esteem has never been lower. Although I am a caring loving man and believe me I will go out of my way to help anyone in need. I believe this side of my nature makes me much less of a man and it hurts so much. I really want to change, I don't want to hurt anyone again.
  5. what you say here is exactly what happened to me 20 yrs ago. I have been jealous and mistrusted every girl that has got close to me since, which has ended the relationship. Some that I deeply regret. My current girlfriend is on holiday in europe and I am in turmoil. I love her deeply and I am finally seeking help through a counciller. I dont know if I can ever beat this but the hurt I felt 20 yrs ago is as depressing now as it was then. I adore my current girlfriend but trust I know will be difficult. But at least I have finally accepted that I have a problem and I also know by reading these threads that I am not alone. Whether or not I stay with this girl who is a flirt or not I hope i will be finally building a platform where I can start to love again.
  6. thankyou so much for taking the time to reply with such good advice. I have booked to see a counciler on friday. I will try this method. She is the only person I have let my guard down for for over 20 yrs. I know I must trust her.
  7. I am a middle aged man who has fallen in love with a lady in a whilrwind romance. I guess it was love at first sight for both of us. We have only been together for 2 months but I know that this is the love of my life. I know this because I fell in love once before, when I was a very young man. Unfortunately this young girl cheated on me quite a few times and I stupidly put her on a pedestal and didn't believe people when they told me she was doing these things. I broke my heart then and believe me I was distraught for many years, and although I went out with many lady's I never felt like that again. Until now, I absolutely adore this lady. My major problem is jealousy. Please believe me that I have never felt this way before and don't know how to control it. It is the worst feeling in the world and I am ashamed of myself for feeling this way. I feel that I am self destructing. The thought of loosing this special lady is tearing me apart and I will do anything to change. Can somebody please please help me.
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