stellaf

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. I am trying to help myself to get over the whole thing. I don't want to tell him what he is allowed to do and what not. That wouldn't make me happy (even if he stops). I am trying to control my reaction to that, not what he is doing. Also, at this stage of my life, I am not ready to play any games – I don't believe that playing games can make anyone any happier. We are generally very close and honest to each other and we can talk things over…, but this is something I just can't digest L

This is pretty much what my problem is: you don't have a desire to buy a $200,000 car, but don't you have a desire to drive it? This is exactly what he says! I agree. And I asked that. He said something along the lines: she is better looking, but I'd rather be with you. Well, not exactly staring, but he does check them out up and down, and probably up again… I'm not quite sure actually, once I notice that he is looking I don't look at him any more, I would feel like I'm controlling him…

My fiancé is often looking at other women. He claims he doesn't know why he does this and says it is meaningless and harmless. But it bothers me a lot. It's like I'm competing with so many other women and, if they do look better, it makes me think he would rather do it with them. He may never act on it, but the sexual desire (or at least attractiveness) is definitely there! I know most of people would tell me to just 'get over it', but it's not that easy. I tried hard to accept this, I really did. I tried therapy a few times. But it keeps lingering in the back of my mind, makes me 'uninterested' and I feel I'm loosing 'joy for life'. At the end, it actually pushes me away from him. How can I accept this without feeling resentful or discontent? Any comments will be highly appreciated.