hey everyone,
Its 3:20am and i keep staring at my phone hoping that he'll call. The odd thing is, I broke up with him. We dated for 2 years and had many many downs as well as ups.
I broke up with in a very, i guess you could say cold manner. We didnt have a blow out or anything. I simple said in the morning before he left for work that it was over and i couldnt take it anymore. He didnt believe that i was serious, he kissed me on the check and left. I didnt answer his phone calls for a week after (which were only about 5)... I was fine, he didnt even cross my mind, i had a lot going on, with my wisdom teeth being pulled, looking for a new apartment and starting my last year of school. I thought i was over him. Then it hit me. I felt that knot. That sick feeling in your gut. when u miss someone or love someone and feel you made a mistake and that they're gone forever. I tried to call him a BUNCH of times. He picked up once and was short and rude, said he was busy at work... than he refused to answer my calls after that. Today i caved and called again, left a message crying - reminding him of how we said we'd be friends, best friends no matter what. So i got a phone call back. FINALLY. but i was in class and couldnt answer it. I tried calling back a couple hours later and he didnt pick up. I called later on too, but again nothing.
I dont know what to do, i feel so helpless. I dont even know if i want him back... is it possible that this is all my ego? or is it love? will he call me? what will i say? what will he say? im so hurt and upset. and stressed out because i have a major essay to write and all i can do is think about him. this is not right... i feel weak and hopeless....
thanks for listening
