haas

you make a good point.. i think you're right. females are all too often wrongly labeled for such things. but aside from the label, whether what she did is promiscuous or not, the thought that other men have had my girl drives me INSANE!!!

i suppose.. that makes it a little better but at the same time that doesnt stop bad thoughts from popping in my head when I see one of the guys she's been with. Im just constantly reminded of it...

I've been dating this girl for almost a year now. We're in love. I would do anything for her and she would do likewise. I'm a bit of a jealous boyfriend, but it's something I at least recognize and we have been working on it one step at a time. Anyway, after a few months of dating her I had heard some rumors that she used to be somewhat promiscuous. This didn't really bother me until her and I began to get more and more serious. Currently we are about as serious as it gets (no not engaged) and I finally got her to speak out about her past. She told me her list and it was rather extensive. I handled it pretty well at first. At least to her face anyway. But now that I know about all the men she's been with it REALLY bothers me. I hate the thought that MY girlfriend used to be like that. Don't get me wrong she's a great girlfriend aside from that. When she's out at parties without me*, all I hear from friends and such is that she is very loyal to me and is quick to bring me up in any situation where other men may try to hit on her and what not. *(temporary long distance relationship) My question is: What can I do to not let her disturbing past bother me so much? I am trying to think of something to tell my self everytime I get bad thoughts about it, something that will make it "okay" in my mind, but nothing seems to work.

A little background: I have a serious girlfriend that i've been dating for a year now and i love her to death. When i first met her she had a boyfriend and turned me down for a kiss because of it, even though he was a to her and mistreated her. When she did that i was impressed as hell! anyway, she ended up breaking up with him an months later her and i started dating have been ever since. Now, i am one of those people whose trust is not easily gained and with the incident that took place between us, with her turning me down in order to be faithful, she managed to gain my trust wholeheartedly. After about three months of dating, i was on a trip out of state to visit a new college and she had gone to her lake cabin with her girl friend (who also has a boyfriend) for the weekend since i was gone. She had been calling me every few hours throughout the day/night and had told me that her and girl friend had met to guys and they were drinking together having a good time but assured me (without my even asking) that these guys werent hitting on her and that she had said she had a boyfriend right off the bat to avoid problems. Later that week i got the details... Her and her friend had been driving around and met these two guys on the highway and the girls asked these guys for their numbers and proceeded to invite them over to the cabin to party.. i thought all this was a little messed up and she agreed, apologized, and promised me she didnt even come close to hookin up with any of them. Another week later, i heard from a friend of mine that some guys were talking about how they had partied with my girlfriend and that one of them hooked up with her. I called her out about it but she cried and swore she would never cheat on me. So i'm wondering if these guys weren't just tryin to brag about somethin that never happened just to impress a crowd. There were a few other minor incidents other than the one above like, her calling her ex-boyfriend while she was drunk but said she just wanted to talk to him because they were good friends and hadnt talked in months, then she also had gone to a dance of some sort and danced with a few guys. These may or may not be bad things to those reading this, but they are all factors that have lead me to have a hard time trusting her when i am not around. We currently live 4-5 hours away and are staying together long distance but im strugglin with the trust. What can i do to try and trust her again???