Todd S

The truth is that we all lose a big portion of self-respect and self-confidence in situations such as these... The first step towards recovery is building your self-respect n' self-confidence reserves back up again... You'll not only get through this but you'll be a bigger, better you at the end of the day... Act with dignity, always maintain the moral high ground, and learn to appreciate yourself again... My thoughts are with ya..

Sorry but I don't agree... People do dumb things, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve our compassion... After all, we've all made dumb mistakes in the past with lovers.. Does it mean we didn't love them or deserve their compassion? Nah! Compassion should be afforded to EVERYONE... "let he without sin cast the first stone" and all that jazz...

Whilst I respect your view, I would like to clarify that I'm not intentionally attacking any individuals here, moreso an entire culture...

I can't believe iamteddybearfeelmecuddle's comment, "he could be a perpetual dater!" For f..k's sake, you've only been dating a month and he's decided the relationship isn't for him.. Sounds to me like he's been respectful about it & is saving the pair of you a whole bunch of heartache further down the road.. Why are we in living in SUCH a crass age where folks immediately try and pin a "condition" on every situation??!!! "perpetual dater"???!!! I think someone needs to put her self-help books down for a moment and start accepting life for what it is, with a bit of old fashioned common sense...

I'm one of those people who believes that the "dumper" has the responsibility to deal with the post break-up fallout that generally ensues... People tend to become obsessive after they've been dumped, refuse to face reality, get angry & bitter, and express a whole range of other frustrating emotions that are hard to tolerate.. The truth is that humans are simply going through the gamet of emotions that represent a grieving process... Some get through it quicker than others, but we should never shirk the responsibility that accompanies "dumping" someone... I split up with someone over a year ago, and though the calls are thankfully now few n' far between, she still flips out occasionally and calls me in the middle of the night drunk & abusive....I exercise patience & understanding & she generally sees sense the next day and is hugely apologetic & embarrassed... These incidents used to happen all the time, but the graph is on the downturn... Eventually, she'll find love elsewhere & we'll become friends... In this day & age, people get restraining orders, involve the police, and do whatever it takes to make life easier on themselves, whilst the dumpee is going through a serious life crisis... My opinion is that you take on the responsibility of having to help pick up the pieces from the moment you enter a relationship with someone... Anyone who doesn't see it that way is plainly selfish & un-caring... Being dumped drives people crazy for a while.. The craziness is only temporary, and completely understandable... Your lover is your best friend; when you choose to end a relationship, that is the point where your capacity to be a friend is tested to the ultimate extreme.. An enduring sense of empathy is crucial, whereas turning your back on the situation is plain 'ol superficial...

You have my sympathy... My best advice to you would be to do whatever your gut is telling you to do (your instinct is generally right; it's when we try to THINK our ways around situations that we tend to mess up)... As regards winning back the love of your wife, you may succeed, you may fail (every situation is, after all, different)... Regardless, your main priority has to be your child... If you allow yourself to get too depressed, you'll lose the capacity to be able to TRULY be there for your kid.... You must thereforeeee protect your sanity & the state of your emotions at all costs... Whatever the future may hold, you can't look out for your child if you're allowing the world to take an impact on your health, physical or mental... Look out for yourself so's you can continue to look out for your son....

I don't for the life of me understand why you're worried... When you usually go to a party do you stop to consiously think about how you're gonna act, whether or not you're gonna filrt with people, etc? No, you simply go about the business of being yourself... My advice to you is don't start analysing normal situations, there's such a thing as thinking too hard (and in this case it'll simply lead to neurosis!)... Relax, be yourself, and enjoy being yourself... If certain people can't accept it then F..K them, they don't deserve your friendship!

The majority of women hold the view that they like to "stay friends" after ending a relationship... In most cases it's a simple ploy to make themselves feel better (a conscience appeaser)... In my view, it takes at least a year to get over someone special, and whether or not one chooses to "remain friends" must surely depend on how you feel AFTER you've gotten over her... Until you reach that point, avoid her entirely... If she can't respect that, then she doesn't deserve you as a friend, let alone as anything else...

I fear that you're trying to look at the situation from too pragmatic an angle.. After all, love has nothing to do with logic or pragmatism... One should think moreso about what one can contribute to a relationship, not what one gets out of it... If your concern is purely for yourself (knowing that "life is tough out there") then you no longer love your wife & you shouldn't be together... As for the world outside, nothing much has changed since you got together with your wife (it's always been "tough" out there)... The kind of relationships you form in the future will depend on the kind of people you choose to socialise with... As Randy Newman says, "it's a jungle out there"... Regardless, no-one's forcing you to drink with the warthogs, hang with the apes, or eat with the lionesses...