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Ellie2006

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Everything posted by Ellie2006

  1. Ellie2006
    I liked the poem too! As someone also in the academia, I totally agree that having book smarts doesnt mean that you're the "best" or the "brightest." You got to be committed and passionate, for sure, and to a certain extent, a bit masochistic Cynicism also comes with the territory too. Hope you're feeling better about school nowadays.
  2. Ellie2006
    Wow. Just ... wow. Thanks for sharing.
  3. Ellie2006
    But this is what makes you special, ToV -- how in-tune with the world you are, how you give even the littlest thing meaning by your taking notice of them -- even though others may be too absorbed by the mundane to notice the beautiful minutiae that our world has to offer. Never change, girlie!
  4. Ellie2006
    Fatpot, I miss reading your poetry but I am glad that you are shining bright in a "better time" for you. I dont know if you check back once in a while but ... take care of yourself.
  5. Ellie2006
    ^ lol, glad you approve!
  6. Ellie2006
    FP, I know what I am saying is getting redundant but you're very talented. I feel very lucky to get a glimpse into your world via the words and images you graciously share with us. Thanks.
  7. Ellie2006
    Wonderful! I get the same sensation re: my mirror image; the unfamiliarity of the reflection is at times very disconcerting. During these moments where I sense a distance from myself, I wonder: is it possible to see myself as others do? Do I really know ME? Odd how sometimes I seem like a stranger to myself. Anyways, thanks for sharing!
  8. Ellie2006
    FP, This last one was exceptional, I thought. You have such a way with words: I esp. liked the images evoked by "sealed jar of joy" and the "dark shade of blue." Hope you're feeling better this week ...
  9. Ellie2006
    I love this last stanza. And I think you're giving back ... by sharing your thoughts and lovely poetry with us.
  10. Ellie2006
    The last line was very impactful... Thanks for sharing, Mel.
  11. Ellie2006
    DS, This is the second poem that I've read of yours and I loved both! I look forward to reading more of your work ...
  12. Ellie2006
    I agree with Ghostgirl; it's a heartbreaking but a beautiful poem...
  13. Ellie2006
    Bough, I agree. Sometimes, language does fall short of fully capturing the essense of what our eyes see. Your words however opened the window onto these beautiful images in my head and I thank you for that.
  14. Ellie2006
    Hey FP, Hope all is well with you. I like the ones you recently shared with us but this one's my fav. Maybe bc it reminds me of a song that I really like: "Spark" by The Bird and the Bee. Thank you.
  15. Ellie2006
    ^ Love your latest. Esp. the line about "prancing about on [your] mind's little moon" was brilliant, I thought. I'm holding onto that image; hope you do too.
  16. Ellie2006
    Hi Waiting4forever, I loved your poem; thanks for sharing Ok, I hope you don't laugh at me for being the biggest cheeseball. EVER. lol I was actually listening to Chaka Khan when I was reading your poem and wanted to share her hit "I'm Every Woman" with you. Cheers to you, Ellie ps. Just to warn you: the 70s getup is ... a bit out there
  17. Ellie2006
    Very moving, DYT ... I wish I had prettier words to comfort you right now ... But all I can do is sit here next to you, in the rain, holding an umbrella over you, hoping you'll feel better soon ... Hugs, Ellie
  18. Ellie2006
    Hiya FP, Reading "Hmm..." made me feel quite dizzy Hope you have a great weekend...
  19. Ellie2006
    Ok. If you truly believe this, then what does it tell you that she is still deciding to go? Yes, I know you mentioned above that neither you nor her know Chad's *true* motives for asking her. BUT if this is ONE possibility that he asked your gf to go to this dance and she STILL accepted the date and is deciding to go, what does this tell you? Well, are you sure about her? You maintain: your gf is not interested in seeing other people YET 1) She's agreed to go on this date with CHad 2) Chad might like her and she is aware of this fact 3) She knows you do not wish her to go and yet she is still going To be honest, something does not add up here. You say you two BOTH made the decision that she was not going to go. Her actions now seem to contradict that. I do not believe she has not made a "bad" decision to go to the dance; she made a decision for herself and bc you do not agree with her decision, you deem it as "bad." If you love her as much as you do, let this girl make up her own mind about her own life. As I mentioned above, she's already explained to you the circumstances by which she has been recruited to go. Either you believe her and trust that she is going bc she was urged by her best friend Angel and let it go at that. OR You do NOT believe her, you think there's something else going on, and if this is the case, ask yourself this: do you really want to be with someone who lies, cheats, and blames her best friend for her wrongdoings?
  20. Ellie2006
    If I may be forward (again) and point out some things: I wouldn't be being a decent boyfriend if I was not upset about this. [...] It just seems to be the principle of the thing. To quote Dr. Phil: "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" (i.e. Do you want to win the argument but make both of you miserable in the process OR do you want to be happy by letting go of this matter?) I would really like to know why Chad asked her though. Who cares? The only thing that matters, perhaps, is that your gf agreed to go. Shouldn't your gf's actions (and how she's chosen to handle this situation) be the forefront issue here? If only she would catch him online so they could discuss it and I could know the reasons to have some peace of mind. This, to *me*, seems as though you are trying to monitor her? Why do you need to see what Chad says? Do you not trust your gf to truthfully relay to you her convo with Chad? One final question, if I may: if this relationship is distressing you so much and affecting you to act unlike your normal self, do you really think it's worth all this drama (high school drama, I might add), these anxiety attacks, these feelings of doubt, frustration, etc etc?? Are you telling me that this relationship is worth losing your sense of self over??
  21. Ellie2006
    Do you think you are feeling upset bc you feel as though you are trying to be "unselfish" and considerate and she is (albeit inadvertently, perhaps?) not being reciprocal enough? I hope I don't sound patronizing but I do feel as though you kind of worked yourself into a frenzy by reading those chat convos back from February. Bottom line: she's going. Maybe she will have a good time. Maybe she won't. Regardless of whether or not she has a good time, this perhaps will *not* have a significant bearing on your relationship since she says she is going with Chad as friends and nothing more. This won't have a significant bearing on your relationship UNLESS you keep making it an issue and creating conflict with your jealousy. If you trust her, drop the issue. If she betrays your trust, then well ... now, at least, you know that this relationship was not meant to be. Just my two cents.
  22. Ellie2006
    ^ I am glad to hear that. Well, why do you think you're so upset now, then? It sounds like she kind of agreed to go on the insistence of her friend and has made the decision to keep her word. Would you rather that she get into an argument with her best friend? Would you rather that she be inconsiderate by ditching Chad (who knows nothing about this conflict between you and your gf) at the last minute?
  23. Ellie2006
    Hi, Just *my* two cents (admittedly, you may disagree): 1) People in relationships do not "reprimand" one another; this indicates (to me) that your relationship is not an equal partnership (and perhaps cannot be ?? due to your age difference). There is a power hierarchy between you two and the above comment seems to demonstrate that you see yourself as someone in a (higher) position to reprimand her. 2) While her decision may appear "stupid" and "illogical" to you (as it has created conflict in your relationship), this is the decision SHE has consciously made, fully knowing how you felt about it. So it would be safe to assume that she does not consider her decision "stupid." I understand why you may be upset: to me, though, she is not the source of this conflict. Your inability to accept her decision (and her right to decide what's best for her even though YOU may disagree) appears to be. Let me ask you this: she is 17. Assuming that she will soon go off to college: Will you get upset if she decides to join a sorority? Will you get upset if she decides to hang out with male friends? Will you get upset everytime she decides to make up her own decision about her own life? Yes, we should be respectful of our SOs feelings. I think she's explained the situation to you well enough: according to you, she does not want to go. Her best friend Angel kind of roped her into going. So she's agreed and she feels like she must keep her word. What more do you need to hear from her?
  24. Ellie2006
    I guess Gender Studies (albeit great and important discussions taking place in this field) has to do with this somewhat since a lot of emphasis IS placed on deconstructing the gender binary. (From what limited observations I've been able to make) Among gender theorists, there is a general reluctance to acknowledge the biological differences between the genders. I too am guilty as charged sometimes
  25. Ellie2006
    Hi B84, I am sorry you're having a not-so-great day I am sure I am repeating what you already know but there will be good days AND there will be bad days: yes the dreaded roller-coaster of emotions. Just accept that you will have bad days and allow yourself to *feel* (and not suppress) the hurt. Nonetheless, it IS important not to let the emotions overwhelm you too much. It sounds like you're doing well with NC so far; instead of saying "I thought about my ex" and seeing it as a set-back, how about acknowledging that you WILL inevitably think about your ex from time to time? Also, please do consider trying to limit yourself on how much you think about her? e.g. 10 mins a day while I have my coffee, 3 times a week, etc etc? Also, allow yourself even more time to heal and try not to be impatient that you don't feel better already!! It's only been a short while since your three year relationship ended; do not begrudge yourself ample time to heal. Hang in there! Hugs, Ellie
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