lindsey248

hope this will help me i was in an abusive relationship for 5 years..after the last big beating 4 days ago he is calling and leaving messages telling me how much he hates me and that its always my faukt for provoking him we both cheated on each other at one time or another but now it seems like he is spreading horrible rumors about me and denying that he even did anything wrong ( i have 2 cracked ribs from the last incident and he claims he only hit me in the head??? the thing is he keeps calling ME telling ME not to speak to him and calling me names. my problem is i feel like he just got away with what he did and now i look like the idiot and makes me want to call and yell and scream at him...i shouldn't listen to his v-mails but i can't help continuing to check my phone to c if he's called even though i know it will only be mean degrading things....am i sick to still love him and want to be with him? i'm trying to hard to have no contact but its so hard...y doesn't he just not call at all?