naija

I've decided i'll start breaking up with them one by one. i should start with hope. I regard her as the most matured. Hopefully, she'll take it in good faith. She's quite a very friendly person. I'm not just sure if she'll still be as friendly after we break-up. I'll keep you posted. Thanks people, I knew it would eventually come to this, i think i just really needed to be psyched up, and u guys are doing just that. You really think one or two months is ok to know if someone's 'the one'?

Thanks all, i guess i'm caught in between 'not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings' and this mild tinge of hope that 'i might eventually fall in love with one of them'. i realise its quite a difficult thing for me to tell anyone "i'm not down anymore." this eventually led me to pile them up. It's now a big problem. Funny thing is none of them know about each other and its very very difficult trying to juggle time with all of them. I've actually had enough of the lies, fake trips, bogus schedules, and all the "i'm working late", in fact the cost alone is killing. Problem now is how do i ever break-up? I won't even have an excuse to, and telling the truth is out of the question. I'd rather breakup and remain friends than make life-long enemies. And if i decide to break with everyone, will i finally find someone i love? Its been so long and i dont seem to understand how it works anymore. See, if i meet someone totally new, we start dating, how do i know it'll end up in love? And if it doesn't, that means we end up breaking up and i have a problem with breaking-up. I realise i can continue to date over and over without ever falling in love. Hazlcha, thanks for your advice and for mentioning Dorothy. Dorothy seems to have a religious interpretation for every action, and that bothers me. It sorts of negates some ideals i have about life in general. She doesn't waive or bend. This leaves me asking myself if we can ever go far. And who knows, maybe thats what i really need, considering the kind of person i am. I agree i'm a little shallow, which is most definitely not what i want to be. It's just hard to find love, the way i want it to be.

I know i'm a terrible person, its not really my fault. i just can't help it. i'm dating four women at the same time and i'm not proud of myself. I just turned 30 and it occurred to me that i shouldn't continue like this, i need to get mariied, start a family and build a home. From the part of the world where i come from, there's nothing more respectful than having these things i just mentioned. I had always been a faithful guy until i was cheated on by a girl i loved with all my heart, it ruined me, i was never the same person. Since then (2002) i've had tons of girls, uncountable one night stands and so on. Presently i find myself taking 4 women very seriously, i respect them for different reasons, like spending time with them yet i am unable to say categorically that i am in love with any of them, in fact i haven't been able to love since i got cheated on 2002. I have successfully been able to keep all four without them knowing each other. I know i need to choose one of them and let go off the others, but i don't know who to choose, and i'm so scared of hurting the rest. i know i need to make my decision and i'm counting on you guys to advice me. Let me just introduce my girls to you (names changed of course) brenda is 28 i rate her 4 out of 10 in beauty, shes a medical doctor, we've been dating for over two years and she's so desperate to get married. she's the one my parents know and all my friends too. she claims she's really in love with me, but we usually have issues. she knows i don't feel very much for her. i feel she's too old for me, i feel just wants to get married and doesn't love me as much as she claims. sex is o.k. but i think she fakes it a lot, she has told me once before that she doesn.t have orgasms. it kinda makes me feel like i'm not a man. we have just a couple of things in common. And i dont think her mom likes me much (different religious backgrounds) dorothy is 25 and beautiful, i rate her 7 out 10 in beauty, and the kind of girl you want to be seen hanging with. she just got a job in a bank. She's extremely religious, always in church, wont have sex before marriage; claims she really likes me. though i thinks she's a by-the-book person which sorts of makes the whole thing boring. Thats enuf to scare me away from her. Hope 27 has greatest sense of humor among all. rate 4 out of 10 in beauty, she's quite voluptous and attractive. She's really fun to be with so i've been with her for a year plus. I think we flow very well. Recently she complained she doesn't think we're connecting and really wants to know why. i think she's getting desperate too. she wants to know where we're heading. I'm scared i might hurt her. Sex is o.k. She's quite intelligent. I love that in a woman. I know i dont get bored when i spend time with her. By the way, she's my colleague. arian we just met like a month ago, she's 23 and quite pretty. she's very babyish and fun to be with. she's in law school and i think i'm simply still excited about meeting her. We seem to spend long hours on phone and if i do get caught by any of the others, i'm sure it's her i'll be caught with. I think she's great in bed but she seems to believe i'm dating her for sex. Well, maybe it started like that, but now i'm really seeing her differently. i give her 5 out ot 10 beauty. she's also fun to be with. She's a bit plump and an extremely cheerful person. Now, i dont want to be criticised yet, i already got myself into this. What i really need is to make my decision fast and get out of this. I also need to know why it's so difficult for me to fall in love. I need help.... i don't want to go on like this.