tastelife

I actually don't even plan to bring up how she's wronged me. She'll just get defensive and we both know what she did anyway. I'm going to tell her we can't see each other any more and that I wish her luck in the future. So long and thanks for all the fish, as it were. I don't want it to become a "he said, she said" contest or give her any opportunity to argue over minutae. You can't really argue with, "You lied to me, I don't trust you. I forgive you but it's over."

Thanks for the support! I'm going to break it off this evening. I have a few hours to try and prepare for any curve balls she may throw at me. I've tried before but somehow failed because I wasn't prepared. She knows all my weak spots. I can only hope she won't use them!

As much as the thought of it makes you want to vomit, if you want any chance of getting back together in the future you have to let her do her thing now. That includes sleeping with whomever she wants. Don''t contact her! Work on making yourself happy because in a few months when she sees you're happy and thriving without her a little light will go off in her head and she'll start to wonder about you again. Yes it's reverse psychology but it's how we're wired! So don't beg, grovel, seem needy or distraught. Make every contact with her from now on FUN! Before you know it you will be the fun, interesting guy and you can watch whatever loser she's with at the time cry like a baby when she leaves him for you.

So here's my guy opinion since you asked for it! Taking it slow for me means getting to know the person as a friend before committing to a relationship. But who said friends can't "hook up"? You just got to college a couple weeks ago. This is when you're supposed to be trying pretty much everything out. Relationships are no different. Try it one way. If that doesn't work try something different! You're at the point when you're going to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. So my advice is not to listen to any advice and just try everything! You'll never get these years back so be selfish now! The educated, happy, well-adjusted woman who emerges at the other end will thank you for it.

With all the hype over "keeping it real" and not playing games it's hard to decipher what to do. The facts are sometimes you have to play a bit of a game. In this case maybe a short text like, "Wedding was a blast! We had so much fun. I can tell you've been really busy. Ring me if you like when things calm down..." etc. The point is to make it light and relaxed. See, no one likes to feel responsible for someone elses feelings. Letting him know that you're happy on your own will only make you more attractive. So even though you're DYING inside and your mind keeps taking off on it's own, resist the urge to contact him. Wait for him to contact you!

post script: I'm also torn on remaining friends or just cutting ties all together..

It's just confusing she claims to love me and I know that she would most likely be back when she realizes the grass isn't greener. I can withdraw my emotions which will make splitting with her easier. However if I turn off there's no turning on again if and when she returns. If I keep my hope amd love for her it will be painful and I'm sick of hurting. Thenks for the reply. Let me know if I can help with your situation in any way. I'm great at helping others just not myself!

My gf lied to me and I'm confused abt her behaviour. Last week she ended up making out w/a guy at a club. She went out with him a couple more times after that but says nothing happened. Not really a huge deal but she went through many detailed and elaborate lies to cover it up. Even then seeming to only tell me the bare minimum. She said she was sorry (but didn't really act like it). I asked her if she wanted to see other people and that I would be ok with taking a step back while she figures out what she wants. She says no and gets very upset if I suggest that we move our relationship down to "just dating saying she doesn't want anyone else but me. Yet at the same time she's on internet dating sites (I've been a bit more vigilant since the lies), messing around with/seeing other guys and denying it all. I'm confused since I've given her the freedom to see other people yet she prefers to lie about it. What gives? I only want honesty.