PeachesFelix

hey, no, our relationship has been excellent recently. We've had our ups and downs, we live quite far apart, and don't see each other as much as we would like, but we speak every day and I saw him about a week ago. Things hav been as I would wish them to be, thats why I was so shocked by what I saw. If as you say, it had been on the rocks, then there would be nothing for me to do but carry on with my life. Also, he signed in with a girlfriend, and he didn't fill in what he was looking for etc, so I really think for now I should leave it. You guys have been so kind to give me such good advice, it's good to know that if I am having a stress I can write on here and somebody will tell me to calm down and consider my options. I think I shall sleep better tonight than I had originally thought thanks to you all. xx

You guys are right, thanks. I think I was just worked up. To be honest, I know that he has been on a dating site a couple of years ago, but nothing ever came of it, and he didn't even go on there a lot. I know that he would not cheat on me, and he did write that he was in a relationship. I think I am going to leave it. It may just be for his self-esteem. I think that the best thing for me to do would probably be leaving it, and then coming back to it to see if there has been any change in his information etc, and if that does happen then I shall bring it up with him. Otherwise I see no reason to fight and cause upset with him. I shall wait and see. That way I also have something to ask him about and I have the high ground etc. Thanks guys. I shall leave it and check in a couple of days, if he hasn't even been on there then I know it was just something he did kinda thing. Agree? If you strongly have another opnion on how I should handle it, I should like to know....

Dear all, I need help. I don't know if what I am writing belongs in this forum, but it might do. I found out that my boyfriend had signed into an online dating website on the internet today. He had not entered any of his personal details apart from to say his age, place and that he was "seeing someone". Now, I know that he wrote that he had a girlfriend, but he still signed into a personals site, saying he lived in his old city, and its online dating!!!! But then, the seeing someone thing..... I really need advice....shall I log in and play *** for tat, should I check and see if anything changes, then forget it, or should I confront him, even though it doesn't appear that he has done anything wrong apart from sign in? PLEASE HELP XXXXX

Hey guys, So I know its a bit sad, but I am feeling a bit down tonight about everything and I kind of wanted a little shove in the bum to tell me to stop being so "meh" about everything. Relationships end, I'm 21, this won't be the last time....I know all this....but I think I need to hear it from you guys. Try not to be too harsh lol, like I say, I'm feeling blue.

I was very uncomfortable with the idea of my boyfriend looking at porn. I didn't mind knowing that other men I knew used it, but I was offended to think that he would. I asked him not to, and he said he wouldn't, but since that I found on numerous occasions that he was still using it. He now says that he does not look at porn and all I can do is try and trust him. I suggest that you ask your partner not to look at these magazines anymore. Your relationship sounds like it is all good apart from this one issue, so I suggest you speak to him about it. But I will also say that to find out again and again that he has not been respecting your wishes will severely damage the trust in the relationship. So ask him and mean it. Let him know that it offends you. Tell him it might not be for good, but for now, you would like to know that you are enough

All I know is that discussing different ways to die doesn't make a person more interesting. I love being on my own and reading, but when people hear that somebody has commited suicide, they aren't thinking about how you did it. They aren't thinking about something that trivial at all. I'm not going to tell you that you have the rest of your life to look forward to, that much is obvious. I would tell you to get involved in something like a book club maybe, where you can meet people with similar interests, make friends and learn that there are ways to be interesting and sensational without taking ones own life, or even discussing how to....

Hey, so I know that I am only 21, but I'd like to think I am a woman who could tell you what I think. In my experience I know that sometimes, especially after a relationship ends, even if it has been a while, it is sometimes hard for a woman to commit, or rather show that she is commiting. I think that in this situation, unless she makes it obvious, you should persist, and try all options. Many women are just worried that if their guard is let down they will be hurt. We know its not always going to happen, we just sometimes need a guy to prove himself first

He told me that he didn't find me attractive early in the morning, late at night, or in the middle of the day... ...And he was serious... ...And I stuck with him for another two and a half years lol

I think that when a girl smiles at you, she obviously thinks that you are good looking or that you look interesting. The serious look? I use that one when passing a bloke and I kind of don't want him to know that I might be interested....it's more of a ploy to get you to look again... That might just be me though lol

I know that it is very easy to regret something that might have happened in the past, and I know I'm 21, hardly in life lol, but I too have regrets about my last relationship. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, and I know exactly how you feel, we all regret at the end. The most important thing to remember is that however hard it seems, you will get through this, and you know it deep down. Keep going, try to talk about it. Thinking and writing can complicate your feelings in your mind. If you talk about it with an understanding friend, and you talk til you yourself are bored of the subject, then you will not only see your own faults, but his as well. If you nagged him, then maybe you weren't as secure as you could have been. You cannot push somebody to cheat on you, but two people can drif apart, and then one can take the blame, and I really don't think that in this situation that person should solely be you.

Right, firstly relationships are not just about sex, no, nobody is trying to say that. And whether you have sex during a period or not is a completely personal decision. It can do neither person any harm. However, the fact that your boyfriend rarely sleeps with you could show that there are underlying stresses in the relationship. My boyfriend stopped sleeping with me for a few months a year and a half into our relationship, and I eventually confronted him about it. Stress can be a big reason for anyone not to want to commit physically, but then I understand how hurtful it can be that your man is choosing to alleviate himself to porn rather than wanting to do it with you. I honestly know that this can be incredibly painful when you are given no reason. I say speak to him about it. You do have needs, and however stressed he is, there is no need for him to put you under the same pressure.

Thank you so much to all who have replied here. I know that it was not great, but the end is so final and now I feel so alone that I was at a loss. I am really pleased that I know there are people here so willing to impart their advice.

Dear All, I have never written in a forum like this before, but I was feeling so alone that I wrote 'getting over being dumped' into Google and this page came up. The truth is I have never been dumped before. I have only ever been in one proper relationship and that is one which has just end after just under 3 years. The thing is I cannot help feeling that it is my fault, and due to the nature of the relationship I can no longer talk to my friends about it, for I have been moaning at them for about two years now. You see, sometimes the relationship was abusive, but I didn't understand at the beginning and I let it happen, and then it would only happen occasionally, so I would always take the blame, thinking it must have been me doing something. I know that abuse in a relationship is not the right thing, I do understand that, and that is not even the reason I am writing here, for it has nothing to do with that now, for any damage has been done and is being dealt with. I am writing here now, because I need to feel that this will get better. I would love to know that somebody understands me, and can tell me that I am only feeling this way because thats how it's supposed to feel. I feel so much regret. Not only regret that I could have acted in a better way, but also regret that I fell so hard for somebody who never intended anything serious. It was almost as if the end of university signified the end of our relationship, and that is the hardest thing because I wanted to try so hard to make this work. I know that he loved me, I know that he did. But I don't understand why he didn't trust me enough to be honest with me about the way he was feeling. I was always too emotional in his eyes, even if it was to ask him to reassure me occasionally. Which was fair enough considering he never spoke about feelings, so most of the time I had to guess! I'm sorry this has been such a long and probably convoluted post. I would not be surprised even if it were never read. All I know is that just writing this has helped me a little bit. And I'm sorry if it was dull, but a little piece of me went with him, and I feel like I don't know what to do now. Thanks for reading this if you got this far It's a comforting thought to think that somebody I 've never met might care enough to try to understand what I am feeling, without having to be asked.