Hello. I came here because I can't talk about this with anyone in real life, I'd appreciate any replies. Sorry if some of this doesn't make sense, I'm just going to say it as it comes out.
About 2-3 months ago, around when summer was beginning, I started to hang out a lot with this girl. At first I was very shy, then after a few weeks I considered her my best friend. I thought, and still do think that she is the most beautiful girl. We'd hang out everyday for several weeks and became really close.
At first I saw her as a girl that was extremely beautiful and I'd never be able to get her. I started to like her more than a friend, I wanted her so bad. The problem is, she's dating my best guy friend. I am a very private person, I don't talk about things, I just hold them in. The past month we quit seeing eachother so much, now we hang out every week or so.
I don't want to sound weird, but I think I was obsessed with her at a point. Everything she did, I thought was cute or funny. When she, or other people thought she looked like I thought she looked amazing. If I wasn't with her I'd feel sad. I would wake up in the morning thinking/wishing she was with me. I'd dream about her almost everynight.
Then recently when we stopped hanging out so much, my feelings started to fade. This next part will probably sound silly to most people, but she made a myspace, and I'm not even on her top friends. I considered her one of my best friends, and she doesn't even put me on her top 12. So yeah, that probably sounds ridiculous to most people, but in my situation it is really frustrating. I have these strong feelings for this girl, and I'm pretty sure the most she sees me as is a friend.
Anyways, I basically told myself I'm never gonna be able to get this girl, and I should try and move on. It's so hard because everytime I see her I wish we were a couple. Oh yeah, and I'll add that when I was in my 'obsessed state' we'll call it, I didn't see any negative qualities of her. Now that we don't see eachother as much, whenever we do, I notice them. She a lot!
The way I feel right now is very confused, frustrated, sad, and angry. To top off all of this, my classes start in 2 days, summer is over, I lost $100 in poker. Disregard that last sentence though, that was off topic. So anyways, I've had all of this inside of me, and i haven't told anyone how I feel. A lot of this probably doesn't make sense, and maybe it shouldn't, it's just me expressing how I feel. I'm not really expecting any replies, but I really would appreciate them. Thanks for listening.