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Smitty1

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  1. Smitty1
    I know a lot of you are hurting and my heart goes out to you with all sincerity. But am i in the minority of people who are looking forward to a life without the weight of a bad relationship? I have had it and im not taking it anymore. Every argument you have for staying always has a counter argument just as valid. For example some people just dont want to be alone, but if you are in a bad relationship your already alone. Some feel like they cant live without that person, but that person has long gone and left you with someone you dont recognize and treats you bad. I want to hear from those of you who have THRIVED after the break up, it just may be the inspirition someone logged on may need. Thank you all!
  2. Smitty1

    I Cheated

    Smitty1 replied to Ms. Babydoll's topic in Infidelity

    I agree with Hope, the fact that he throws it back in your face tells you he doesnt forgive you. And though you did something against your relationship it doesnt justify him making you feel like crap, and once you start that behavior it wont stop. As Hope said counseling is a great start for you two. I have to wonder about your true feelings though, and i dont mean to badger you, but this started because your relationship felt distant. Are you sure your feeling like crap because of the impact on your relationship, or because you outed yourself and became labeled a cheater by him.
  3. Smitty1
    Sorry to hear that, my ex informed me after we broke that she had cheated, i told her she could have kept that secret to herself unless she was just trying to rub salt in my wound. After she said that it made me wonder why anyone would take a cheater back cuz that felt too painfull to ever forget.
  4. Smitty1
    I only wanted to play devils advocate because i have male friends and co-workers who openly flirt and sometimes even have affairs. I often ask them how they would feel if thier wives did the same, and they all say that "its different for a man" So i posed the question to see if even in this day and age if men and women are on completely different pages when it comes to this issue.
  5. Smitty1
    People often say they cheated when they felt vulnerable, others say that they shouldnt have put themselves in the situation.....such as going out to a bar, working late with a co-worker etc,. What about women in abusive, loveless relationships that are afraid to leave, but fall for someone else? Is it ever justified in your eyes, and does a cheater only feel bad if they get caught or can you cheat and live with it if no one knew?
  6. Smitty1
    He actually spoke to someone else you guys know on-line then he is blowing you off sweetie. This will be hard to take but guys who are nobodys in the real world have learned the art of being on-line players. And some women are getting on the bandwagon as well. It becomes too easy to sit down and type than to get dressed and meet your real friends or make new ones. It happens to me and everyone else on here probably. You are not alone...but your power comes from being able to unplug sometimes and getting outside.
  7. Smitty1
    Boxer briefs for sure, like born to resist said, your nuts and berries should stay indoors from the cold.
  8. Smitty1
    Unfortunately she is too recently broke up with the jerk boyfriend, and since you are a nice guy you have fallen into the friend category. She may hate him being a jerk but for some women it draws them to guys like that and nice guys finish last with them. You wont change her mind.If you can accept being only a friend then be one, if not dont torture yourself trying to make a relationship when there is none. She was honest with you now be honest with yourself. We have all been there and feel your pain.
  9. Smitty1
    This has disaster written all over it, it doesnt seem to have been planned out very well and now you will have to make compromise after compromise until you start resenting him. Maybe you should stay with family or friends where you are and re-group after you have a detailed plan of action. Love dont pay the bills! The distance between you is making you rush to get to him even at your own expense.
  10. Smitty1
    The thing that is disturbing is the length of thier conversation and that it had to be a secret talk. You didnt create this situation so prepare yourself that you cant fix the situation either. This is where she shows you her honesty and loyalty not the ex.
  11. Smitty1
    Brother i feel you, but RayKay is giving you some damn good insight.
  12. Smitty1
    I hear both of you it sounds like i should er on the side of caution, I was actually feeling self righteous thinking if she was acting indifferent and not begging me to stay that i would show her. So i dont want to get a divorce because of pride or immaturity so i thank you all for your help, we may still break up but it wont be because i left.
  13. Smitty1
    Once he leaves how is going to be able to keep his own place clean and keep up with his drinking schedule. Sounds like your gonna be missed real soon, so get ready for the i cant live without you speech. But seriously, even a bad relationship hurts when its over but you can use the time to rebuild your self esteem.
  14. Smitty1
    when you are the one in the situation its hard to see any way out. All your comments were helpfull, I would like for Brando to elaborate on why seperations are a bad idea, and rose you are the much needed female insight.
  15. Smitty1
    I guess for men we are considered weak if we are in decisive, so if a woman appears confused about the relationship at a crucial time we take it as rejection. I could never conceive that maybe she was testing my commitment to the relationship so you may have something there.
  16. Smitty1
    It may sound crazy, but you might have to do a "drive by" compliment. Saying "good morning you look nice today" as your walking past her desk is one way to compliment her without having to work up a lot of courage, it may also ease her tension by not having to face you after the compliment is given. She can just smile to her self.
  17. Smitty1
    I cant understand the mixed signals and mind games. My wife and i came to the conclusion that we should separate, she more so than me. I started looking for a place for myself and then a few days ago she said that she would like me to stay and work it out. Since we have 3 kids i gave it serious thought, then one of the landlords gave me a call and said they could have a place ready for me in a week. The place is close by so she said maybe i should take it but it was up to me. I responded by saying i thought you wanted to work it out, to which she said i just want you to be happy no matter what. It sounds like she wants to retreat to straddling the fence and never appears fazed by the major effect the outcome will be from all this. I want to talk about it but she doesnt, leaving our fate to me. I appreciate any responses.........
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