cranbers

Well to me cheating is anything not physical. A women rubbing a mans back who is engaged married or has a bf, unless it is professional as in a paid massager would be cheating. Now cybersex, no I would consider that cheating. Watching porn? No, pleasuring one self, no. Talking to a girl on the phone and having phone sex, yeah. Kissing, hugging, playing with body parts, yeah. Kissing, oh yeah. having sex, um yeah that's a big one. As for anything else, I wouldn't really care in fact if my wife seen someone else, and came home happy i would say thank god and keep doing what your doing. it is working. i don't know if that is wrong or not for me to say. I mean my wife really needs to be happy, if she can be happy and we stay together then fine. Cheat all you want, I certainly couldn't live with myself though cheating. I would have to be divorced or separated. Now I must admit I did cheat on my wife essentially, my ex gf from hs emailed me a few years ago. We started talking on the phone and through email and instant messaging. It was amazing talking to her again, we started to feel love for each other again. now granted she lives a thousand miles away so a physical affair was not possible. We never had cyber sex both ways anyway although i did tell her some dirty stories i would do to her, she never said anything to me. she took some pic of herself, naked. Also we chatted over web cam a few times, nothing sexual at least on her end. Anyway did i feel that was cheating, i guess it was. however I never felt guilty because i never had physical contact, it was all sort of a fun game. I remember one night i forgot to take the web cam down from my computer and my wife seen it. She asked me what i was doing, i was sleeping downstairs on the couch due to my snoring that she couldn't stand, my computer was there so my time with her was 10-2am and one night i left the cam up. I didn 't leave it up so it was very obvious. I just told her i was playing with it taking pictures of myself. she never figured it out, then another day i left my computer on with the messenger running and she had imd me. Her screen name had her first name in it and being my wife she knew who my one true love was when i was younger, her name anyway so aske dme oh yeah that's appropriate. I said i have other girls i know on there besides her with that name. She bought it, eventually this girl just stopped talking to me one day, i never heard from her again. so I am not sure if her hubby found out or if she just didn't want to torture herself with me. we had a pretty complicated history, we were a very serious couple in our 11th and 12th grade hs years. So it was tough but it was nice to see and talk to her again, it's amazing how some people never outgrow who they were when they were in hs. she was still the same game playing girl.

I would say any women, who sleeps with you. then when asked what she is doing this week end and says its non of your business. Well I would say 3 different things, first of all this is a warning sign. She is either seeing someone else, is running a drug cartel or has a issue she doesn't want you to know about. So with that in mind, I would say tell her to tell you as a show of trust, or tell her you will have secrets as well and play the same game. either she doesn't trust you, doesn't want you to know something about her you may not like or is just plain weird. One thing though, be prepared to break up with this girl. I would be very very cautious and wear protection everytime anything sexual happeneds. Most likely she is doing something with her friends that is bad news and non of your business, because if it was you would most likely not want to have anything to do with her. There can be no other explanation, unless it is something really dumb and things you will find it. for example, she runs a sex party with her friends. She goes ot raves and gets wasted on heroin and cocaine. Maybe she is bi sexual and is going to have a orgy. I mean its just one of those things where when a women tries to pull that secret stuff on you, its never good. Sorry for the graphics and extreme maybe but as I said be prepared for anything.

wow, women who actually talk about sex and admit to masterbation. good to know, anyway its amazing how well you told your story. So tell us, why have you been deprived for so long. I am married so that is my reason, haha sad huh. I remember when I was in my teens though it was like that, having passion and wanting to kiss and hug and caress most of all just want to put your money maker in the bank. I miss those times, they were wonderful the girls were as well. The greatest sex times of your life will always be with you. Even if you are married to someone 10 years later, stories like yours will bring out your own encounters.

You know I seem to have the opposite problem you do, minute man. I have never been able to orgasm doing anything other then sex. Hands feel good but no dice, same thing with oral. I like it but more as just foreplay. Anyway I would say use that to yoru advantage. Most guys can't go very long, so im sure your gf will appreciate your endurance. As for making you more senative, try some of that warming lube or foreplay for a lot longer before doing anything. Also watching dirty movies before may help as well.

Yeah I had it happen to me with the first couple of girls I was with. it is all about being comfortable. The first girl my penis simply would not get hard. it was like it was broken, but it turns out it was just her and inexperience with myself. If you want check out some portn with her or just before. give you some handy ideas too. 15 is pretty young, that is most likely your problem if anything, I lost it when i was 17 which is old i guess my todays standards, but I was read at that time. I had times I could have done it younger but I was not ready.

Well I would say as long as their are no open soars your fine. It is probably just as dangerous as deep open mouth kissing, but i am not a dr so im certainly not someone to say for sure. If you are that afraid, then I would suggest not doing anything with someone. Either that or get to know the person better, get checked out by a doc and well , then go at it all you want.

Wow, that is quite a story. I can't believe the whole if she is stayng with you for more then 2 weeks she is a resident and requires an eviction notice? That has to be some made up bs. I guess the only thing you can do is say to the police that her being there is a volitle situation and you think you might knock her out. I mean if she is so beutiful ask one of them to take her home and they can enjoy her company for awhile. Each time the police are called it goes on record, call them every time she is over and won't leave. Everytime she hits you etc. The police will get the point, so either they will do something about it or they will just stop coming. That is a sad thing though that if this was a role reversal, she was a man and you were the women, you can be assured you would have been arrested and have a restraining order on you now. I was threatened with one for doing a whole lot less when i was 16 so. Either that was scare tactic or the police had you going for a minute.

You know someone can say do whats best for everyone else. if you are unhappy in you marriage, as am I. Just read my thread a very long drawn out thread. I am also staying for my son, and to keep the family together. but I have been married for 3 years and my son is 2. so I guess that might be different. My family knows the marriage is crap and so does her parents. I guess I didn't really get your initial post, are you just tired of your wife's voice? I mean do you argue/fight etc? Some of the people responded with some very nasty rude comments. why are you on here if your going to be like that. The website is called e not alone, which should a support website not meant for bashing someone for being honest and open to complete strangers about their very personal lives. People get married for one reason or another, did anyone have a gun to their head, probably not. But they did what they thought was best or best for the other person at the time. Does that mean deal with it or live with it if it is now a mistake and its making you miserable? No you should they made divorce an option for a reason, most likely to prevent someone from killing their spouse out of being trapped with no way out. I mean if till death do us part really meant that I think murder would be much more common and domestic abuse would turn into much more serious things. so point is, if marriage counseling doesn't help. If she is unwilling to do anything to help the situation and you are doing your part, then weigh your options for leaving for awhile, file for separation and take a break. There are millions of women out there one is destined to be right for you. You never mentioned how old your kids are, if they are old rit may impact them more so then if they were young. But they need to understand that people may be better off apart, I mean after all there is a 60 percent divorce rate for a reason, a lot of kids are a part of that. Most of them turn out well, some do not but I am sure that is not the only reason for their issues. I mean even the Brady bunch was based on that concept they seemed to be ok right.

the biggest issue on her mind right now is wanting to quit her job. She says her job is so stressful that it causes her to eat uncontrollably. the food helps the stress. it is my fault she is still their as I said she could stop working after she had our son. Now keep in mind, I was getting out of the army 6 months after he was born. I was going to have to find a new job which could or could not be sucessful. I didn't think it was wise to have both of us unemployed if it came down to it. so I suggested, not mandated or told her to stay. i said what I thought was best she went with it without much argument. but she lashes out at me like now, when she is tressed at her job she tells me crying that i said she could leave 2 years ago, that I am somehow keeping her there now. well she says she wants to quit on a regular basis. keep in mind now she is very successful and makes a lot of money and has put a lot of time and energy into her current job. everything is wrong with her job from the people she works with to the work load to people treating her like crap etc etc. She has changed jobs several times at the company, taking up different manager positions etc. But keep in mind she is 26 years old and has been at this company for 4 years. She expects because of her success she has had so far she is owed a higher position, such as a director. She is very smart and know she job she could very easily do that kind of position in fact she has for awhile when no one else was there to take it. But they hired somebody else to fill that position instead of giving it to her. She felt that was very unfair. But given her age and experience, no matter how successful you have beent hus far who is going to take a 26 year old women seriously in a corporate environment. Everyone under her would be her age or older. That would cause alot of flak and i am sure taht is what they were thinking. My wife doesn't understand this so she wants sto quit do to her being treat unfairly or screwed. I don't know just another insight into issues we have.

You know if this was all just the way she is, then she should have horns and a pitch fork. However I think she is this way simply because her life has been very rough the last few years. Maybe she is mentally ill, maybe she is at her wits end. She blames it all on me though and punishes me accordingly. I know she is like this because her life has thrown her a lot of blows. Blamingit on me isn't ok though of course. but I have been living with it for so long I almost just find it as being normal. It's not until I tell someone that I truly realize just how bad it is. My loved ones, meaning my sister and my mom and friends from mn, all say that I am being abused, that this relationship is not healthy and I need to do something, divorce her does come up on a regular basis. but I don't its almost like if she isn't actively driving me out, trying to kic me out of hte house or try to piss me off so much that I want to leave. I don't, I have times to leave during the day without being held back or interrupted but I feel guilty. I feel like I would be abandoning her and my son. I am not saying I would run away, but just move elseware and then let her know after its done. if I do it in front of her, she does things like threaten to hurt herself, hurt my son, block the door to keep me from leaving. then I imagine the police would have to get involved. She may get violent, I really dont know. But its always a major event me leaving, she will usually guilt trip me out.

I am looking at the amount of stuff I have written on this thread, its pretty sad. I think I could write a book on this relationship, a novel is more like it. But it feels kind of good to write this and know others are reading it. People like Shadow light giving me some great advice.

also another thing that bothers me is the simple fact she wanted this baby so bad, yet she doesn't want to spend time with him. her way of thinking is this, if she an't spend all her time with him, she doesn't want to spend any time at all. I mean with me working at night she has no choice but to watch him at night a few days a week so from 7pm till he goes to bed till he wakes up in the middle of the night till he wakes up in the morning, she is with him. then I get him at 7am and take him to daycare then I do my thing she is at work. The thing that bothers me is that, she literally works 2 miles away from his daycare. she has to drive by it to get to work. Now i have to drive 10 miles one way to take him to daycare, then drive home then go back to pick him up in the evening. There are times I even follow her we leave at the same time in the morning, she goes to work and i take him to daycare. Why cant she take him? i asked her this and she simply tells me i dont do anything else so i should. I spend at least 35 dollars a week driving him to daycare. I mean she won't even say sure ill take him a day or two a week.

the thing I hate the most though, knowing that sex is important to me then giving me crap about wanting it. Saying things like all i want is to spend all our money and have sex then i would be complete and happy. well i don't really see that being the truth, would it make me happier and not feel deprived or neglected yeah definetely. I mean I feel like the money I make is almost slave labor. She wants to live for when she is 65 appearently wants to save for retirement. Ever seen that commercial that has the little kid in the store asking the clerk if he can buy just one twinkie, then sayes I am saving for retirement. Then goes to the movie threatre and says, "i want a medium popcorn" The women is so happy she hugs him and its a celebration. Credit card or bank commercial or something. But tha tis my wife for you. she buys herself nothing and expects the same of me. i don't operate like that I guess. I like buying things and enjoying my money or at least I want to. I mean when we first met I had been in this state for about a year. Just back from korea, I sold everything before I left so when I got here I had nothing. I lived in the army barrecks, with nothing. No car no tv no computers or anything like that. so I went out and bought stuff, a tv, sound system, computer and a car. Added up to about 25k 5k on credit and 20 on a new car. I was making 1800 a month cash with no other bills. She told me I was very carless with money and that is why the no buying anything is still in effect. Keep in mind I have a credit score of 780 with no debt in fact we have such a posative worth its incredible, ours sons college is already paid off as well so in 2023 he is all set, even if he doesn't get any kind of scolorship. Now was all this possible becuase i didn't buy anything for the last 3 years I am sure it didn't hurt it but as i said we have such a higher income to debt ratio. there is no reason or excuse for me not being able to buy small stuff that I want, 100 dollars here 300 there. I mean she doesn't even want me to have a link removed movie through the mail rental plan for 18 dollars a month.

My wife has told me multiple reasons for not wanting to have sex. Everything from it's painful to not wanting to get pregnant to she feels like she is being raped to she feels ill when she does with me, she hates me so much. That pretty much sums it up, but then I am told if I have a snip snip, we can have sex whenever. But then she will say she wants to have another baby. So I have no clue how to read this mess, I mean if it hurts thats understandable, she doesn't want to get pregnant we can use condoms or whatever. She says there is still a risk though and its not acceptable. If it is she hates me so that having sex makes her ill, well then what can you say to that. So what is the real reason? I haven't a clue, if those are all valid real reasons then we shoudln't be married.

Yeah, being a man who is 25 sex is very important it is on my mind almost constantly. Not being able to act on it ever, is really tough. I feel so disconnected to her its crazy. But yet when I do have sex with her, I do value her again. I mean its weird, I almost feel love for her during and after. then when we go without for months I really dislike her. Is sex the meaning or is it what brings out the meaning. When you go without it for so long the first time you do it again its pretty good but its also very short. I mean minute man takes on a new meaning. She doesn't trust birth control I guess. She only seemed to wanted to have sex before because she wanted a baby I guess. I rememeber when we first started seeing each other sex was everyday on a regular basis. It was fun but she wouldn't let me do or try certain things because it reminded her of the ex. She even called me by his name a few times, once was over a year later (not during sex). so yeah as far as looking for a fight I am very easy going and I try to avoid conflict, I don't instigate at least I don't try to. Usually it is in response to something. She comes home lets say, she starts yelling about baby bottles not being put in the sink or they are not washed yet. Now washing 3 bottles doesn't sound like a big deal. it isn't, however when there are three bottles washed then you have dinner dishes later that evening, why was dishes twice when you can do them all at once? I tell her that and it doesn't compute, she thinks they are there, they can be washed so be it. Well its a dumb argument but that is an aexample of how it starts. Also she has a problem with me being home durnig the day, I play on the computer, maybe play video games sometimes, maybe I sleep after all I do work at night for 12 hours. But the days, I don't work I get to spend the day doing what i want, my son is at day care and my wife is at work. Now in regards to doing house work, I really don't care its not a big deal to me. I do it sometimes and I would do it alot more but I get yelled at because I didn't do it her way or to her standards. for example, washing clothes I forget to hang something up, isntead i folded and put them on her dresser. Mainly because I don't know where they go, I have no clue what she wants hung up or where to put it. The closet is hers, I have a 2 foot section and she has the other 20 feet. So where should I put it, she won't tell me and so the argument continues. also laundry needs to be washed a certain way, I am also accused of not finishing what I start. Say putting laundry in the wash and then drying it and then have to go to work and they are not dry yet, so she folds them and puts them away. she thinks she might as well have done everything to start with. Also if my son is doing something he is not supposed to, she immediately calls me to stop him, even if she is right next to him or closer rather. She would rather call me to stop him then stop him herself. That really burns me up, when I see something is wrong or i think of something tha tneeds to be done, I do it. I don't ask her to do it or say quick stop our son before he hurts himself. I go run up and grab him and get him to stop. I mean climbing on chairs, drawing on the wall with a magic marker stuff like that. As for other arguments or how the big stuff gets started those are all good exaples, then it gets into low blows, talking about small * * * * size which I never got a complaint before to being stupid or dumb literally. I am not as smart as her and she knows it. She had a 4.0 gpa in college and hs. She has a degree in business and another one in chemistry. She is a very smart girl with perfect english skills and a non stop active mind. so she can out talk me any time with big words and ways to psych me out. I have grown a lot smarter arguing with her over the years. i am a lot smarter guy then I ever was before I met her. i don't know if that is a good thing or not. having to get smarter or get killed in an argument with her not a good thing. The issue with my sister was one of the worst things, I mean try having your wife rag on your sister, who you have known your entire life, who would never hurt you, say mean things to you or ever tell you off. Who would always try to help you no matter what the cost is to themselves. the biggest problem is my wife knows nothing about my sister, but can presume to know everything about her from what I told her. So do I retreat everything I ever told her about my sister for that reason. why does she hate my sister? Well my sister gave me some unsound advice that was not in my wife's best interest, that was to not merry her yet and not to rush things. Also don't merry her just because she is pregnant with your baby. stuff like that, and using reverse psychology my wife was able to get me to tell her these things. For example, my wife says lets get married. i say well I don't think I am ready quite yet, I mean we have only known each other for a few months and I would like to tak eit alittle sower. who have you been talking to your sister again, cause you wouldn't say something like that. Well it just so happened I did talk to you my sister that day, did she put that idea in my head, no but she did help me ti find the path and hold my own thoughts instead of allowing her to manipulate me into whatever she wants to do is the right thing. so anyway my wife has always used the fact I care for my sister so much against me. Saying mean things about her to get me fired up, the worst thing being she didn't know my sister. But she could say that she is selfish and just wants me to herself or some crap like that. My sister is always in control of me and she is afraid she will loose that. Now the thing is, everything my sister says made sense to me, things my wife says doesn't. i just would go with tha tand it would piss my wife off to no end. My wife admitted to me that the reason she wanted to merry me was because she was desperate she didn't think she could do better and she thought i was going to go back to my home state of MN. She will deny this of course if I asked her now, she said that out of rage when we were in a fight. But I have no doubt there si truth to it. The thing I always though or made sense to me is this. My wife's dream life that she was about to live was destroyed. She found me, merried me and had a baby as soon as possible to makeup for lost time and who knows maybe it goes deeper, she wanted to hurt her ex. I never met him, even though he lives in the same town. She says she sees him on occation around town. He was controlling I have no doubt. She never told me he mistreated her at all though. He did have her sleep with her best guy friend in front of him though, which I found rather odd. Other women too. So you may be correct about the whole controled her now she controls me thing.

If I didn't know better i would say that you were trying to say I am blowing this whole thing out of praportion. That my wife is the sweetest person in the whole world and I am just a mean nasty dude ragging on his wife and in fact, I am essentialy like your mother and your poor innosent dad is in fact my wife, the one who is the victum. I am really confused about your post, were you trying to say what I just said or you were trying to say I am like your poor dad? Because I could see both in there. Sorry to say, what I have said is true. The only way I am at fault for this whole thing is allowing it to continue and allowing her to control me like she does. If you want me to tell my wife's side of the story as she would have you all believe. It would be quite simply her life has gone awful, there needs to be a cause and that would be the person who shares it. If I have not made her life better I have made it worse. Do I say mean things to her when she is already upset because i am tierd of hearing about it over and over, yes. Do I feel she is unfairly kept me away from my family, kept pleasurable things in life away from me almost intentionally just to be cruel, Yes. Would my wife say that she did all this in our best interest, sure. Why does she keep sex from me? Because she doesn't want to get pregnant becasue she would tell you I treated her like crap during her pregnancy. But was she completely irrational her entire pregnancy, did she use the pregnanty against me on a regular basis, yes. No I may not have been justified in telling my wife somewhat mean things and threatening to leave her on a regular basis over the issues I have dicussed above. But keeping someone from anything they enjoy, especially family is wrong. I admit we make a volitile situation. But does that mean I am only telling one side of the story and making myself look completely innosent. I guess I could tell her side, as she would like me to believe it. it has happened where I would tell my side of the story, then add the part where my wife doesn't want me to talk to anyone about our situation, if she knew I posted my story on here she would loose her mind. Is that control? Not letting you talk about your situation with anyone? I am unable to talk to anyone about this, especially my sister because she feels I am just talking smack about her. Is that control for a reason? I don't know I guess. So once again how am I at fault? Well like I said i allow this to continue. I don't take control, I don't force the issue of money is both of ours not just hers. What can she do to me if I spend half of the money I personally make a month that is extra on whatever I wanted which numbers in the thousands of dollars. she could'nt do much, threaten to divorce me? Sure, but I would welcome that if she would just stick to it.

This sounds like a relationship I had when I was 17. If some girl/women is playing games like that in their 20's or 30's lord have mercy. I wouldn't care how beutiful etc she was I went through that crap with a girl i was totally in love with and I would not ever play that game again. The only difference is she cheated on me with my best friend, was so upset I was going to dump her over it she cried and pleaded. I said ok sure why not ill take you back. Sure enough 2 weeks later she dumps me for some other guy she has been seeing, not my best friend. So yeah, gotta look out for the mind games that girls play on you. I would'nt touch those with a 10 foot pole, even after my marriage is over. I would love to have one for a quick booty call but thats about it.

In regards to the budget, no money spent is her budget. We have talked about it if you want to call it that. She said 50 dollars a month. Now when you make enough money where 70 percent of your income is left after all essential bills and everything is paid. That is just extra money, I don't see a problem buying something that I want that costs, 100 dollars or even a thousand a month as long as it's not that often. Anyway when you take away everything that makes life worth living or pleasurable. Including spending money you make on things you enjoy, having sex, having fun and enjoying the people you are around. It really makes life a lot different. As for not taking her seriously it's really difficult. If I don't say anything to keep the argument going she will tell me I am ignoring her. She asks me things like what she should do about over eating about work and about my job. She wants me to give up a job I enjoy and is making it possible for me to get my degree, due to the free time I have to study. My job is very easy, its the night shift and its 60 hours one week 5 12 hour shifts, and then 2 days the next week or 24 hours. One week end i work the other I don't. Before I had this job, which was about 8 months ago I worked 6am-2:30pm. it drove her nuts that I had would bring our son in her room at 5am when I had to leave. It also made her made I had a few hours to myself from 3:30-5pm. she has always complained she has no freetime. When she does have freetime she doesn't spend it doing anything she enjoys. She would rather do housework or something or check her work email or watch tv. Now watching tv to me is more of a past time if your bored, not something you should be doing for relaxing. As for the stopping the argument thing I might try that. Although I have done something similar but its been quite awhile. Usually our arguments are pretty cold. I am pretty mean, but how are you nice to someone when they say the same thing day after day. Then you say nothing, they get mad because you are ignoring them. But yet, you are going to say the same thing you have the last 800 times this conversation has happened. Friday nights or Sunday during the day or even Saturday when I don't have t work is when the magic happeneds. she will say something about my driving ability, she is a backseat driver essentially. so I ask her if you hate my driving so much they why don't you drive. Now I know what a bad driver is like, I would ride with some at my last job. They drive erratic they scare you and if they admit to being in an accident you are not in the least bit surprised. I always obey traffic laws, signal turns etc etc. So anyway, point is something stupid will start the argument. Then it will get out of control. for example talking about sex in some manner will spark something big, if a comment is made in the car. She refuses to have sex because she is convinced she will get pregnant. Then 20 mins later she will say she wants to have another baby. Even when we did have sex when trying to have a baby it wasn't exactly enjoyable or fun. No foreplay no goofing around just get it done. I actually found myself not even able to finish with her I was so bored and felt ashamed. I had to imagine I was with someone else. Now if that isn't sad, I don't know what is. The last few times we did after my son was born was good simply because I was so deprived. Anyway, yeah as you can see the picture I have painted is bleak in deed. Maybe separation is the only option. There is bullcrap piled so high I can't see over it anymore and I honestly didn't know they piled it that high. I hope to get things figured out soon, because i certainly can't take this and I have such hope for the future of actually finding my true love and taking it slow. Just enjoying myself and not worrying about it because I enjoy being with that person so much there is no rush. Just fun, pleasure and optimism.

Once again thank you for the outstanding post, I get the impression you are a professional? do you have a degree in psychology or a social worker? If so you are better then any actual professional I have been to in my past. As for your post, yeah I agree totally. marriage should be about being friends sharing your lives and adding intimacy. No we don't even have that, nore do we even have a friendship. I have been buying things lately, behind her back. for three years I have not bought anything because I was afraid to. so recently I have just said screw it. It has felt good I feel like I have more of a say so in my life when I do that. But it makes me feel guilty almost like im a kid again and I am sneaking out after dark or something. I feel guilty is the only word to describe it. I am also scared she will find out and I am going to get a whole lot of crap for it. I don't know what she would do, I guess I never thought of that. It's my money i would like to think, we have a whole lot more then we know what to do with. it all goes in the bank, we both have excellent credit, a large savings account with more coming in each month. She still doesn't let me buy anything without acting like I want to spend our entire savings. Anyway yeah, thanks for the post. So are you married also I was curious how old you are? have you ever had anything or heard of a situation like this before?

Wow that was the greatest response I have ever seen or heard in response to my situation. I mean a lot of people would just say, divorce her or damn dude. But to actually get someone that seemed to hit the nail on the head about the situation is nice to finally see. As for going to counceling on my own I guess that would be wise, legal council would be good as well to see my options. thank you for your post I appreciate it.

Thats is very cool to live happily ever after. The sad thing is I think I was happier with ex gf's and I was more in love then I ever was in this marriage. when I go places and i see beutiful women, or even women who are interesting or I find stunning, not super model beutiful but just my type, of beutiful I get butterflies in my stomach. even when my wife is right there or went to the bathroom or something. It's sad to admit that I must say. My wife doesn't do anything to up her appearance at all. She wears average clothes that don't really fit, no makeup. hair in a poney tail. No class, just a working girl with no worries on her looks. She looks ok, but I wonder if that is just because I am used to it. She has never wore makeup since I have known her. I don't think she even owns any. She has lost a great deal of weight over the last few years. Even when she was pregnant she only gained like 15-20 lbs and when my son was born he weighed 8 of that. being with her now is like living with a room mate, we have a business contract, pooling our money together and raising a child. I don't feel any love, would I have sex with her if she would allow it, yes but I don't know how good it would be given the situation. being a man who is 25, sex is a constant thought. When you are denied that and everything else who wouldn't get frustrated and want to leave. She seems to think that it's perfectly normal not to have sex if you don't have to ahvea nother baby. however if married couples only had sex to make babies, I don't think many couples would be married.

that is true it will be along process. I guess that also is worrysome. to start all that and have a long drawn out battle is going to suck.

I didn't merry her because she was pregnant, I married her because i felt sorry she just lost the baby I was going to merry her originally for. I also though of it more as I was trying something new, I never been married before I though it would work. She was a smart girl who needed someone. I seen alot in her and she was pretty nice at the time. Over time though it has gotten worse and worse. So now its a matter of being stuck with her because I have a son I don't want to see without a full time dad. I didn't have a dad growing up, never knew who he was. I certainly don't want that to happen. Also being with him and watching him grow up over the last two years it will be tough to leave him. I need to though and I know this, but I have to wait for her to at least get a little better mentally.

Well, sitting down and not yelling. we talk on a regular basis. But all she can say is simply, oh you would only be happy if i spread my legs and had a laptop between them. She is having some sort of crisis in her life right now. She hates her job, she is stressed out. She hates me becasue I work at night and to top if tall off she hates watching our son at night. He wakes up twice to have a bottle, yes at two that is a bit rediculous. She refuses to agree with me on how to get him to stop. So yet another thing to argue and fight about. But to answer your question, have we sat down and not yelled about the situation we are in. yes, but it always leads to rude comments of disliking each other. but it always ends up the same, we go to bed and get up the next morning and it all begins again. there are fews days where things are not like this. Recently she has been really just nuts, crying all the time about her weight etc. She has a eating disorder, she eats becasuse she is stressed as a result she gains weight, as a result she wants to throw up after she eats . She is getting help but she will only admit to the doc its her job. That I work a tnight and it doesnt help etc.

She knows this we tell each other all the time how unhappy we are usually while we are yelling at each other, the difference is that she says it using reverse psychology. A kind of if I say this he will say how he feels kind of thing. when she is relaly upset she tells me it would all be easier if she didn't love me. But then in the next breath it's a she wants a family and she never would of had a child etc etc. so yeah a bad bad situation. She will usually try to stop me from leaving by standing in front of the door. trying to get me to hit her or something. I would never hit her and I never have. There have been some close calls though, I have never been so mad at someone I wanted to hit them, except her and my mom. I have lost control a few times, but no I never hit htem I went after something else, like the couch or bed spread. just a quick 2 second rage, then i am fine. It takes a few months of frustration to get to that point though. Literally a few months of constant yelling, controlling comments. I also forgto to mention she thinks I am lazy, doing dishes, cleaing the house laundry the yard stuff like that. Now of course i do these things. do I do them always and on a regular basis? No, but I do them as often as she does. But because she does them at all, means I don't do them ever.