turkcmilo

It is only her that he is chasing. He says that she is the only one he feels comfortable talking about things with. He talks about his problems and her problems together so they do have an emotional relationship of sorts. Candy- I believe the lesson might be losing me which is something that is still a very important option for me at this point, because I don't feel she is putting everything into this and love shouldn't take this much work but I too am feel so bad letting go of 2.5 years of building what I thought was a solid relationship thats alot of invested time, and I would hate to see it end when I still have so much love for her inside of my heart. I just have so much trouble dealing with her issues and this whole recent situation.

Yes we are officially together at this point. Which leads me to believe that she is and has ultimately chosen me but from the emails I read it sounds as if it might be a fake to please her family and she is really still feeling this other guy.

From what you describe it seems to be innocent enough. The mood change is the bigger issue in my opinion and with her family history therapy does seem to be the proper direction. At this point I think she seems to have health issues that you need to be supportive of before any sort of accusations get thrown around in the heat of the moment that you might regret later.

helloladies- I dont quite understand what you are reccomending are you saying whenever she starts to talk about the good ol' days and how things used to be ect that I should just ignore it and walk away or change the subject that sort of thing?

Fisch- She has mentioned to me before that she doesn't love me like how she did in the beginning. She always talks about the beginning where everything is great, new, fresh. Where you talk to each late at night and there excitement not knowing when they're going to call or what is going to happen next. She says its currently kinda like a married couple where theirs a pattern and certain things are predictable. While I do make an effort to keep things new and interesting it goes without saying that after 2.5 years things will occasionly seem predicatble "Out to my favorite restaurant, how did you ever know, oh wait we've been here a few other times already" type of thing. That I can't help and I wonder if she is just stuck in love with the very new and spontaneous beginning of relationships. Yes she is young: 20.

Well a new level just got added to this problem please take the time to read my post here: By the way I have told her what he said and she dismisses it by saying what a nice guy he is and sayng he wants me and her to be together. It is also impossible for him to be 100% out of her life as she and him work together which makes this situation even more complicated.

I have been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. Recently we started having problems and went on a break where we were trying to find our beat with eachother, we both assumably wanted to slowly get back together. Leading up to this break she was talking on the phone with a co-worker till the early hours on a very regular basis. During the break they went on dates together, kissed, spent the night with eachother. I found this information out through email conversations between her and him. In the conversation she talks about how great he is and it will hurt her to see him with other girls. Me and her started dating again just before I found out about this. Also in the email she says she does not love me like a boyfriend but wants to try to because her family love me and I am good to her. He still loves her and tells her so even now that me and her are back together. Says he will wait for her and needs her by his side. ect Before I found out about all this he used to be a mutual friend of me and hers. When me and her were getting back together she told me that he asked her out she agreed to but never went and that was the end of it she said. I am currently still wanting me and her to work out. But she wants to continue to be friends with a guy that she was dating a couple weeks ago and who is still in love with her. I am not comfortable with that thought. To further trouble the issue it is a co-worker of hers. When I confronted her she was upset that I looked at her email and rightfully so. I told her I apologized and asked her to change her password for her own peace of mind and it was not going to happen anymore. We discussed this issue and told her my beening uncomfortable with him being around her even though she claims only friends. I do want to give her an ultimatum of me or him but she did say she will greatly reduce how often they talk, which is every morning he calls then he calls throughout the day and often at night as well. My question is for advice on this situation and also be clear as to whether I have trust issue or and right to feel she should not talk to him as it would hinder me and her getting back together plus he wants more than friendship from her and all. All advice is greatly appreciated.

My girlfriend of two years and I took a break for a what amounted to a week. Halfway through that week she is asked out on a date by a mutual "friend" that she works with. At first she agreed but then she decides no and wants to be with me and tells me about what happened. I call this guy and tell him how crappy asking out a friends ex is. He tells me that he doesn;t care what I or anyone else thinks and he says he will snatch her from me. I'm piss and really hate this guy for the things he said. Me and my girlfriend get back together and things I still going well between us. She continues to talk to him on the phone and wants to hang out with him either alone or in a group. I don't think I am being insecure, it is right of me to be pissed. But how can she continue to want to hang out with him knowing how he tried to come between us. This was merely a week or two ago he obviously still has desire for her. I am so confused on how to handle this situation. Can someone please give me some perspective on what to do.

Well I use some form of LC, I guess it would be that it only lasted a day. She called in the morning and about an hour afterwards 2nd time she wasn't even sure why she called. Today we did hang out for a little while and it was nice. I didn't mention the relationship but she did hinting she wants to get back together. At this point I plan to keep LC and stay apart for the moment I'm not sure if and when to get together, that point may never come. But I am happy she will at least be in my life, after the last two and a half years she has grown to know me better than most of my friends. Does anyone see a redflag with her having contacted me so soon with noticably changed feelings?

Beec- That seems good to bring about a decision but at the current moment I am not intersested in dating others. I wouldn't want to pretned to be dating either as she would easily call my bluff and move on for real. Melrich- Yes that spell was definitely there, and I am positive that the taking it slow is a leading contributer to her doubts and fears. If we weren't taking it slow I believe the realtionship would have easlily been strong enough to get past this as just a small bump. DN- She actually wanted to start all over from square one. The reason for which was that she said she wasn't IN love with me but loved me and though starting over and taking it slow would reignite that in her.

Here's the story: My girlfriend and I have been together for 2.5 very happy years. These last couple of months we have been taking it slower than usual, per her request. I decided to try to regain control by breaking up with her, thinking she would tell me not to leave, that she loved me and ultimately make the taking it slow go away. Well it ended worse than I could have imagined instead of what I planned she now actually wants to be broken up even though she claims she loves me more than she has ever loved anyone. She feels that if we got back together I might pull a stupid game like that with her again sometime down the line. While I can completely see where she is coming from in saying this. It should be noted however that in the past I have never played any games infact the day I did that I was having problems with family, work, and my living situation for school. I believe I did this stupid mistake because of the underlying issues. I in no way actually wanted to break-up with her and she and I both said we wish I never said that and we could still be happy and together. We both want to be together I think she is just scared. I don't know how to approach this situation in a way to win her back while showing her that I would not betray her trust by playing games ever again. NC seems like a bad idea to me in this situation. But I welcome all opinions, comments, and advice.