jacoby03

so a few months back my ex dumped me and since then i've gotten over it (sadly for her she wants me back). that is, however, besides the point. since all of that i've become interested in a girl who is not only too young for me (21 to 17), a co-worker, but also my best friend's sister. yikes! we seem to have an attraction to one another (at least i think so), but it'd be way awkward to actually test it out coupled with the fact that she has an on-and-off (currently off) relationship with some trouble-making bad boy. the real headscratcher is this: when on instant messenger, i typically run two separate screen names at the same time; one as an anonymous and the other as the one i use. i do that so i can survey who's online before i actually go online to avoid the ex. anyway, for some strange reason she has me blocked on the one i use, and i can clearly see her online through the anonymous one. i never even talk to her on aim. i don't get why she would do that. any insight, or was this a useless boring story?

During the break up my ex didn't seem sad at all. Even when I told her I couldn't see her as a friend not a single tear was shed. We loved each other and were each other's best friend for 3.5 years and she won't even cry? For the first few days after the break up I thought she was just already over me and didn't care about me anymore. I was feeling like crap. But now after reading several older threads ( is a good one) I agree with BetterKarma about the whole excitement with the new guy/not mourning the end of the relationship thing.

vjg13, my story is really similar to yours. last summer she broke up with me for her cousin's friend whom she only knew for a week. he was out here for summer vacation and when he went back home to the east coast after they spent a week together it took only month before she wanted me back (he had a gf back home, promised my ex he'd break it off with his gf, never did bc he was a scumbag, just like i predicted to her). i didn't do NC then. i was sappy and depressing, needy and clingy and she still wanted to hang out. i got back together with her instantly and forgave her bc i thought the whole situation was my fault. that was my biggest mistake. now just 3 weeks ago she broke up with me again bc she said she wanted to date other people, and i found out a week later she had already had her eyes set on someone before the breakup. it's quite similar to your second break up bc this new guy has to go back to school out of state in a month. this time around i KNOW that there is nothing wrong with me and that it is all her. im doing NC bc either im moving on or she needs time to reflect on her actions and see if she does really love me. NC is pretty hard when you've spent a large portion of your life with one person who has been your love and best friend. NC is defintely the best option for us bc our exes cannot treat us like safety nets and we have to earn their respect. as for this thread i think if the ex comes back for the right reasons and love is really there then it can be worked out.

i know this thread is a little dated, and it was just recently bumped for a specific individual, but i have a question pertaining to your questions to ask before taking someone back. no. 2 says you should ask yourself if this person is trustwoirthy, and words are not enough. how can someone display this trustworthiness other than to say they can be trusted? if she ever wanted to get back with me, what should i be looking for to believe she could be trusted? my question to your no. 5 is similar. how would i know she would be coming back out of love and not out of loneliness or safety? i know she loves me but i want her to be "in love" with me again. i guess answers to these would be either "you would just know" or "you can never really know, but you could take the risk", but i was thinking of something more specific.

As the title suggests, I feel as if my ex will come back. This is coming from the history of our relationship where she broke it off with me to see if there was anybody out there better than me. Her line was, "if I can't find anyone else it just proves we're meant to be together." We did get back together and I thought that was that. But she recently is pulling the same stunt, and I absolutely know she'll want me back. I don't feel like I'm in denial because I'm working off of personal experience with this girl. It doesn't give me any more confidence though, because now I have to think about whether she deserves me. If I have any advice it is that "knowing" she'll be back is different in every relationship. It can be a good thing if you feel like getting back will be healthy, and a sad thing if it is something routine. HTH

So my GF broke up with me earlier this week. We were in love, or so I thought, until she apparently met another more interesting fellow at her summer job. We had been in a serious relationship since highschool. It would've been 4 years in October. Last summer, however, she pulled some stunt very similar to this summer's where it ended in a breakup. The only difference was last year I tried desperately hard to get her back into my life. This included nightly calls, giving her romantic letters, running errands together, and actually going through with a trip to Hawaii which we had planned months earlier. Maintaining contact last year seemed to do the trick as we were back together a month and a half later, happy as ever it seemed. She told me her experience made her realize that I was the only man for her. Well apparently not. This year she broke up with me similarly to last year where things were good until she started receiving attention from someone else. As you can imagine I felt like the biggest sucker in the world (the breakup actually finalized on the same day as last year, 4th of July -- her independence day you can call it). But now I have moved to the point where I can't let her treat me like a doormat anymore. I feel like taking her back eventually, if she comes back, but I know I can't be as forgiving as last year or come next July 4 the same thing will occur. Thus far I have deleted her phone number, blocked out her myspace and the new guy's myspace, taken down pictures, and avoided contact. It took me a second time being a sucker to figure out No Contact is the only way to go in matters like these. There are really only two things that can develop: 1) She comes back, and 2) She doesn't. In neither scenario do I have a direct stake in it, so I may as well prepare to never see her again because it is quite possible I never will. I'm still hurting, but I am feeling 99% better than during our first breakup last summer. The Catch 22 here is her behavior is entirely predictable to the point of I know she'll be coming back, which is reassuring. On the flip side, though, I fear she'll never change her ways. The most depressing suggestion is that she isn't good for me and I need to move on, but whenever we're together I'm just so happy. She's a totally awesome girl, but I wish she could just get her head straight!