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About pseudofemme

  • Birthday 06/12/1986

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  1. Thanks for the no-nonsense advice I think you and a couple other commenters nailed in in saying this is an insecurity issue for him -- he wants to make himself seem more desirable by reminding me other women want him. That really makes sense in the context of our relationship. He thought I was out of his league when he first asked me out and never thought we would get together. I think he has some deeper issues with confidence that are manifesting in this way. When he makes the comments, it doesn't come accross as him implying he's doing me a favor by being with me -- he makes it clear I'm the one he wants and thinks I'm better than the other women he encounters. It's just that he can't ever talk about a female without first mentioning her appearance/attractiveness or the fact that she wants him. Honestly, apart from this one issue he is incredibly respectful of me, treats me better than any of my exes ever did (and they weren't bad dudes), and is very considerate of my feelings. I've been reluctant to bring this up because I don't want to seem like the insecure/jealous girlfriend who complains about stupid stuff. But after reading the comments here, I feel reassured that this is a justified annoyance. Next time he makes a remark, I'll let him know how I feel about it.
  2. Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm starting to think he just doesn't realize the things he's saying are rather crass. He doesn't have much relationship experience for someone his age (31), and perhaps thinks it's fine to talk to me the same way he talks to his buddies about women. Today from his work, he texted me: "Reminds me, I got eye f***ed by a hot female neighbor staring through the bushes this morning. I'm really glad her linebacker looking husband didn't see. I didn't ask for it... just noticed. lol" "Just had another chat with that new client who was totally all over me. Had I not met you, I probably would have took the bait. She's an attractive thin brunette. Always nipping out (not possible to not notice LOL)." The thing is, after he makes the comments about other girls, he usually follows it up with "But you're way hotter, you have nothing to worry about," or something about how he wouldn't be happy dating them because they're ditzy or skanky. He is definitely a one-woman kind of guy and I can't imagine him ever cheating. He gives me tons of compliments and tells me how lucky he is to have found me. The constant commenting about women's looks is just so odd!
  3. I never thought this sort of thing would bother me, but it's starting to. *Every* time my boyfriend talks about other girls (friends, ex girlfriends, girls he used to like, etc.), he puts in a comment about how good looking they were, or how big their chests were, etc. Some examples just from today: "That girl I went on a few dates with last year, Kristina... she was a REALLY beautiful girl." "There was this girl at Radio Shack yesterday undressing me with her eyes. She was seriously gorgeous. Amazing chest." "The girl from Craigslist selling the bike was so good looking. If I were single I probably would've gone home with her." I'm not an insecure person, and he tells me all the time that he thinks I'm beautiful, treats me amazing and never puts me down, but at least 5 - 10 times a day he mentions how beautiful/pretty/sexy other girls he knows are. I don't care if he thinks that; we're all human -- but why the need to bring it up so often? I would never talk about all the good-looking men I know. Am I over-reacting, or is this a legitimate annoyance?
  4. I've been seeing this guy for 2 months. I'm crazy about him and he says he's crazy about me. We get along great. However, lately one thing has been bothering me. Whenever I make any comment about the future, such as "I'll miss you when you go on vacation in May," he tells me this: "Don't think so far ahead, we might not still be together then. Just enjoy what we have right now." I suppose he's right, but I can't help but wonder if he's hinting about a breakup soon. He seems to say this a lot--that we might not still be together at such-and-such point in the future. Or he'll preface future plans with "If we haven't broken up yet, we should do ______." Part of the reason this worries me is that, earlier in our relationship, HE was thinking really far ahead. After one month of dating, he invited me to come with his family on a trip this summer. Then he started feeling like we were rushing things and wanted to slow down, which was fine by me. But now he seems to have done a 180 and is avoiding thinking about the future at all. I should also mention that this is his first relationship lasting more than 4 weeks. So he doesn't have any experience with staying for someone for very long. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Basically, I'm wondering if all this is a red flag, or if I'm just overanalyzing things. Thanks.
  5. I have an informal date tomorrow with a really, really shy guy. He is very socially anxious, especially around females. We've briefly met in person once... mostly we've been talking online. My question is, what can I do to make him feel more comfortable? Should I try to carry the whole conversation? How can I put him at ease? Is there anything I should AVOID saying or doing that would make him more nervous? We're basically just going to be hanging out... would it be better to do some type of activity? If so, what? I thought a movie would be bad since we wouldn't get a chance to talk, but maybe I'm wrong on that. Thanks for any advice.
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