Beaker5

Thanks veneratio. Can I just tell you in detail why I think he likes me? Well, near the beginning of the semester, most of the guys in our classes started making immature comments about he and I and it was pretty obvious. So I messaged him on facebook and became his friend and eventually built up the courage to instant message him. We talked for a while but then he started telling me about his relationship with his ex and how crushed he was and how he knew that he wouldn't be ready for a relationship, etc...so then I started to talk to him about my ex and the harships that I went through. So we both kind of made it a habit to IM each other randomly when one of us was feeling down. But I'm just soooo shy that it's hard for me to build up the courage to speak to him in class. Imean..we have hung out a couple of times at odd hours of the night, but that really isn't much. And everytime we do hang out, I start to think that he likes me but then a week later, it always seems as if he's lost interest in me. I don't even know why I'm crushing on him so much...but I feel like I can't help it. I'm just so confused. Oh and sometimes, when I IM him, it seems as if he's not too interested in speaking since he really doesn't talk much. I don't know.

Thanks cluelessguy....yeah...That's true...But he's getting over a breakup himself right now so I think his interest in me is off and on. I really don't understand him or men for that matter. I guess I just feel confused and frustrated.

Hi guys, This is Beaker. I'm not sure if you remember me but you guys helped me get through the toughest times during my breakup with my ex and I can happily say that I am on the other side now. I've gone through seeing him with his new girlfriend and not feeling a thing (which I was very proud of) to seeing his friends and being able to say hi without feeling ashamed. But now, I feel that I need your help again. I've been trying to move on. I started complete no contact at the end of June and have gone through the whole Fall semester only seeing him those few times and having a couple of relapses. I've even been developing a crush on a guy that I am in complete infatuation with but his lack of interest is driving me nuts. I guess I'm just desperate at this point and I know that I am not ready for a relationship but I guess I'm just lonely. So let me tell you about this guy This guy is wonderful. He's so mellow and he has the same major as I do and I know that he was crushing on me for a while at the beginning of the semester and we sort of started getting to know each other and the really special thing about us is that we've both been helping each other out with the whole healing process after breakups because his ex also recently broke up with him. So he occasionally IMs me and I do the same. I try not to show too much interest since we both know that it could not go anywhere at the point where we are at but I would soooo love to have that chance with him. So, I really feel like I'm stuck basically...should I just give up on this guy? I really like him.

Hi Closure..Thank you so much for your advice but my suitemates are great and I know that the club is important for my suitemate so I wouldn't want to ask her to not have the meetings there anymore becuase they sometimes cannot find a place to have the meeting. I guess I'll just try to be mature and whenever I know he is going to come over, I'll just study at the library or the lab. I just don't want to break no contact because I'll know he'll be fine, but I'll be the one that is devastated. Thanks again.

Hi Guys, It's me. Ok, I'm back at school, all of my classes are soo wonderful and difficult because they're all upper level and I love them and they keep me very busy. I have pretty cool roommates that are very high spirited and usually happy. So in that area, everything is good. There are a couple of problems however...One..my exboyfriend...two...my club. Well, about my exboyfriend, I just found out that he's now the treasurer of one of the clubs that my suitemate is in and they will be having some meetings here sometimes so that stressed me out. I kind of had a small panic attack... but after I thought about it, I just told them to let me know on time when the meetings will be and I'll just leave to the library or something. I just don't want to break no contact and if he actually did come over, it would be sooooo selfish of him because its not fair to me because he gets to see the place I'm living in and it's just not fair. The other problem is he used to be vice president of MY club and I guess that's why he's now treasurer of that other club. And its really not fair because its almost like he's rubbing it in my face that he's not going to be in MY club anymore. I'm just so angry right now and I'm literally crying because I just can't take this extra stress. I don't want it anymore. I don't want him in my life..but he somehow manages to slither back in. I just don't know what to do. I want him out...out of my life...for good. Oh...and his current roommate (who was my friend before he even met my ex) came here for that club meeting that my boyfriend is now in and I'm SURE he noticed everything in the apartment and went to gossip back to my EX. I just don't want a spy in my apartment. I don't want this stupid person in my life. So very angry!!!

Whoah...I'm in a similar situation too. The three people I'm rooming with this coming semester all live the same area so they were able to hang out more during the summer so they have bonded more...and I'm the outcast. And they're already acting weird towards me...oh well..I'll make an effort during the semester but I'm not going to kill myself either. I find that people that I meed in my classes tend to end up being better candidates for friends because of the similarities that they may have to me.

Thanks CarnelianButterfly, Yes you're right...It was a pretty lousy way to start a thread...I guess I should have started it as "Why are SOME Females such Drama Queens?" or maybe even.."Why are some people so dramatic?"

All of you guys are right. I guess I said women because I'm actually able to see women gossiping because I have more female friends than males. But I'm sure males gossip as well. So yes, I'll say people in general...People are "gossip queens" (or kings)...not all, but some.

Thanks PRSOV and thanks melrich. You're righ melrich...I guess I should rephrase that because it is true...not all women are hypocrites and gossips but why are a lot of them that way...or even a lot of the ones that I have met? Yeah this thread is probably difficult to follow...I can understand that...I just feel really crappy that people love to gossip, and it sucks when its about you when you don't even bother wasting your time gossiping.

Gosh..Now I remember why I usually try to avoid "catching up" with people in the past...Now I remember why I don't let myself get too close to "friends"...Girls are such hypocrites and all they do is gossip. Why don't I gossip? I guess its the way your parents raised you or maybe its because I have no sisters so I never had someone to gossip with...I don't know but I'm just appalled right now. Well, here's the story...I have this friend (well I have a few friends) but this girl is my friend from high school and she's been contacting me for 3 years and asking me to hang out but we never had the opportunity until today...well we hang out, go to the mall, have a good time...whatever..then she invites me to her house for a bit and I go and start talking to her and her sisters. Then that's when the gossip starts...Somehow, an old roommate of mine from college is brought into the subject which is a sensitive subject for me because she simply left one semester without telling me anything and we were roommates for three years so that hurt because we were friends. And when the current friend started to talk about her, they said that she was coming back to my college because she went to register with her friend. Now why is this gossip? Becuase that old roommate of mine contacted me via email and told me that she was goign to move to Georgia but here she is going back to the college I'm at. And when they said that gossip, they all looked at each other and the conversation was changed...Ugh...It's obvious that my exroommate must have spread gossip about me or whatever. I just don't want people like that in my life. I'm so tired of it. It's just something that isn't necessary. One thing my stupid ex and I used to agree on is that it really is hard to find true friends and that's why he holds his friends in such high regards and holds them as his first priority (most of his friends have been friends since kindergarten). I actually respect that about him...he's a good friend but lousy boyfriend material. I was also not able to hold onto friends from my past because of the way my parents raised me...they isolated my brothers and I from the people in our city which was both good and bad, considering that there is a lot of crime in our city. Well, does anyone have any advice or anything please?

Thanks Aurian...You know what I think I'm going to do, As psycho as this may sound, I'm just going to look at pictures on the website of that guy that I like. I'm thinking maybe because his image is more recent in my mind, it'll eliminate my ex's face from my mind. lol..

Hello everyone, I know I come here for practically everything and I'm really sorry but I just can't help it. I was just trying to sleep right now and my exboyfriend's face popped into my mind....but a really vivid picture...It was almost as if he was sitting right in front of me. So I immediately started to cry. And now I can't get his face out of my head. I even tried to think of another boy that I like but my ex's face overpowered the other one in my mind. I really hate this...I really do. UGH...I feel like such a failure....that's the perfect word to describe how I feel about myself right now...a failure. I just don't want to think about him anymore...I don't want to have anything to do with him. Do you think he is thinking about me? Do you think he thinks about me...Imean...you can't simply forget about someone that easily...even if you're with someone else right? Everything sucks right now.

Don't feel guilty...as much as people say "don't snoop around", there was a reason why you decided to snoop around. If there wasn't a reason, then you wouldn't have done it. I think a person should have a right to protect themselves from liars and cheaters. I personally like to know the truth and gut feelings let you know when someone is lying but because you can't go by "gut feelings" alone, you decide to investigate. Trust is very important in a relationship but the person has to be trustworthy and if they aren't telling you something, then they are betraying you. So yes..you did have a right to find out because she sure as heck wasn't going to tell you herself. Then you would have kept believing her and wasting time and the truth would have come out eventually which would have ultimately hurt you in the end.

Thanks rose2summer \\

Thanks annie24...I love your Moe avatar by the way. WEll, first I'm going to see if he contacts me at all back and then I'll try to work my way up from there. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

OMGSH Thank you renaissancewoman!!! Your words just made me soo very giddy right now. YAY!!! But I shouldn't get my hopes up either right?

Hi guys, Well, I'm that same person that has been going through my healing process and I actually have news..I like a guy. But I don't think he even remembers that I exist. And what's pretty bad about this is that when I was in a relationship with that cheater, this guy actually attempted to speak to me a few times but I was too shy and I didn't really want to converse with any other guys other than my ex bf. But I actually did think the guy was cute back then. And another thing is that last spring semester was his last semester...he graduated! Which is great for him but my chance is ruined. Well..I actually just sent him a message on facebook (right now) and his status says that he's single and looking for a relationship, but I think a girl has been trying to get into a relationship with him or talk to him (by the messages that she's sending him). I'm not sure. But if she is, then that means I'm too late and I missed my chance which is pretty depressing. Bah! It's just not fair how even my disgusting cheater ex boyfriend is with someone and has someone that "loves" him and I have no one. I'm so ashamed of having been with my disgusting ex boyfriend for so long. Actually, a friend of mine today, sent me a message on Facebook because he noticed that I was single and asked me what happened and I told him that my ex was a cheater and he left me. And I couldn't help but to feel embarrassed when I said that. I really feel like I'm a failure because I usually never ever give up on anything but I had no control over this.

Definitely rose2summer...we should definitely help each other through this. And what sucks about them blaming you is eventually, you start to blame yourself.

wow karibo...it's weird how you said he would always blame everyone else because that is exactly what he used to do. He could never admit to anything that he did wrong and would always twist everything to make it seem like it was my fault. Do all cheaters have those characteristics?

That's actually a good point you make rose2summer...I've actually asked myself those questions...like, what's the point in even getting into a relationship with someone if you're always going to want someone that is more attractive and you'll never be content with what you have. I really hate that...It's really damaging to the other person's self esteem.

Thanks annie24 and thanks rose2summer. I just feel so terrible. Rose2summer, I didn't know you still checked his profile...I actually really stopped checking after I found out....I thought about it but I totally stopped checking. We definitely do need to help each other.

OMGOSH you guys, I'm actually at work right now and I'm tearing up because I'm just realizing that there was never a point where he was faithful to me during those 2.75 years. I think he was always cheating at me with someone at some point during the relationship. I feel so stupid. Help.

lmao...THANKS!!!

Thanks bethany and brando...You guys are all so wonderful (everyone at at ENA is). I'd probably be dead right now if I didn't have you guys. Imean...no one really wants to listen to someone complain or mope or whatever..but you guys actually care. Thanks for everything.

Thanks theproman23 and thanks rose2summer. You guys are great. Also, rose2summer...what's your myspace page? lol...And you're probably right about me missing the things I used to do with him. One of the things I loved most about him is that he was soooo funny. I miss laughing at his jokes. Like so many things remind me of him and I remember every little thing that I enjoyed with him. It just sucks. I'm sure he's making HER laugh now. ugh.