disneyfan5

I see what you are saying however I never got the impression he was trying to intimidate me. He's not a controlling person to begin with. In his car he pretended like he was reaching for something but I knew what he was really doing. In the store he did try to be discreet but I knew he was looking at me. Seems like strange behavior for someone that was so upset and asked me to not contact him that he would watch me like he does. I did say in my original post that he stared but he really wasn't staring but he was watching me. I don't know what his goal was but I don't feel that he was trying to intimidate me.

I have had no contact with my ex for 6 weeks. He had been really upset with me about our break up. I occasionally see him (3 times during the 6 weeks) but I make no effort to speak to him or pay him any attention. Everytime he has made sure that I saw him. The 1st 2 times were at a local store. He saw me stop to talk to someone both times and then he would walk by slowly and he would stare at me after he walked past me. The 1st time he walked by at a distance and the 2nd time he walked within 3 feet of me.The 2nd time he was watching me as he continued up the escalator. The 1st time I did look at him but that was it. I did not say a word. The 2nd time I didn't look at him until he was almost all the way up the escalator and he was still looking at me. Then the very next day after that I was driving home from work and he passed me. He got caught at a red light and I was making a right hand turn so I passed him to turn. As I did he leaned way over into the passenger side of his car (he was alone) and looked right at me. I looked past him and turned when it was clear. I did not let on that I saw him but I am sure he knew I did. It would have been hard not to have seen him because he seemed to want to make sure that I did see him. I told a couple of friends about this and they said he was definetly trying to get my attention and that maybe he was missing me. I tried to send him a text message today to see if he wanted to talk and he texted me back and said he didn't want to talk to me. I texted him again and asked him to stop trying to get my attention everytime he sees me then. Why is he trying to get my attention if he doesn't want to talk to me? I am confused.

That sounds ALOT like what he is doing to her. He was never shy about telling me how he felt about me. I wasn't an easy catch for him and my feelings were not as intense as his for a long time. I was really slow to come around. I don't really want to get back together with him, I just feel a little bad for adding additional stress into his life.

I agree. That's why I am thinking maybe he can't handle telling her he doesn't want to be with her because he can't handle the additional stress. She didn't want to break up with him even knowing that he had been involved in a serious relationship with me and that he had been the one to pursue me. She is very suspicious of him now and asking lots of questions which I am sure knowing him he is not going to like. She also seems to be threatened by any future contact he might have with me and I think she is jealous of me too. We still see each other occasionally but I have kept my distance so far to avoid any contact with him right now. I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar experience with someone having depression/emotional issues like this.

Well I didn't mean that. I think he feels that he isn't cheating because he isn't committed to her. I told him what he is doing is wrong. I think he may be hoping she will find someone else and end things between them.

He said he didn't tell me because he dated someone else before he met me and he told her about the girl and she freaked out on him. He was afraid I would react the same way and that it would become a problem, which it did. He talked to his uncle about it and his uncle told him to tell me the truth but he didn't think I would understand so he didn't tell me. I understand him being considerate of her feelings but at the same time he can't mislead her forever.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. It's a long story. He had aggressively pursued me for several months and was extremely happy when we were dating. At the end though he was sleeping alot and acting depressed. He wouldn't talk to me about what was going on and I got tired of it and ended it because he was bringing me down. He also had a LD girlfriend that I had discovered. She had helped him thru a really traumatic time in his life about a year ago and then she moved away and she had a difficult time with the move and he didn't want to end it because of that. He said she wasn't his girlfriend but she thinks she is. I couldn't handle it and chose to walk away. I asked him a lot of questions about it when I found out about her and the one thing he had a strong reaction to when I asked him was if he felt sorry for her and his response was "don't say that, please don't say that." It seemed like I hit a nerve with that question. After we broke up I learned more details about the traumatic experience he had been thru that he had not told me about and I felt horrible for him. I had at that point already exposed the truth to the other girlfriend. When I told him I was here for him if he wanted to talk about the bad experience he pushed me away saying he couldn't handle the stress anymore. Is it possible that after the traumatic experience he can't handle the stress of dealing with ending it with the other girl because he knows she will take it hard and he doesn't want to hurt her? She is younger than him and me and is very naive. He is a very sensitive and caring guy, more so than any other guy I have ever met. At 1st I thought he was just being a jerk and cheating but know that I have learned more (lots of details I don't want to go into) I am wondering if it might have more to do with depression and/or his emotional state.

She sent me an email again today asking me to let her know if he does anything else like this and to not let him. LOL!! Like I could stop him. I guess she thinks I will be her eyes and ears after she goes back home. He WILL do it again but I am finished. Even if I saw it I would not get involved and mind my own business because it doesn't concern me anymore.

I would be furious if another girl bought my boyfriend underwear of any type, novelty or not. That's not a normal present from someone that is just a friend.

Oh boy!! She just responded to my message back to her telling her that I didn't have anything to say to him and that he was so mad at me for telling her that I doubt he would talk to me anyway. She said she didn't think he was that mad at me for telling her and that I kinda helped him out so that it was easier for him to tell her about it. I didn't tell her but if I hadn't told her myself she would never have known because he never would have told her himself. If I hadn't told her he would still be trying to be with me. I think she is very naive. He got very nasty with me after I told her and he had NEVER been that way with me before. I didn't tell her that. I was nice and civil and made it clear to her that I didn't want him. She seems to think that getting everything out in the open will make him stop his games. I think he will be on his best behavior for right now but once things cool down and she goes back home he will be trying it again.

It's crazy isn't it?? I can't understand why she would want to stay with someone that cheated on her when she lives so far away. He WILL do it again. She wrote me back today and said she asks more questions than she normally does and watches him more closely and asked me to not talk to him (she didn't say it ugly). I got the impression she was a little concerned about him still having to see me from time to time. I don't think she is worried about me but worried about him. I can't imagine how she is going to deal with this when she goes back home. I think it has really caused some problems for them.

To prove something to myself I annonymously sent him a message thru email to see how he would react and he took the bait and invited me to chat with him thru IM. The very 1st chat, not knowing it was me he asked me out!! He finally figured out it was me after several days of me dropping hints. He had proven my point that he was a cheater. I sent her a transcript of the entire 1st chat which lasted over 2 hours a few weeks ago and she confronted him again. He lied and told her he knew it was me all along. He didn't have a clue until the last day we chatted and I admitted it was me. She said she was confused but again I think she is still going to stay with him. She is asking for trouble but that is her problem. I have to admit I enjoyed busting him during the chat. LOL!! It was mean but he deserved it.

LOL. Sorry! She is still with him, at least for now. After she confronted him about me he backed up everything I said and admitted it and she still is with him. For the life of me I can't understand why. I wouldn't be able to trust him living 2000 miles away. I doubt it will last though. I have also wondered if he is trying to convince himself that she is what he really wanted to make himself feel better or maybe to try to hurt me he is just telling me that. Funny thing is he told me a while back when we were dating before I found out that he didn't like drama and didn't believe in cheating and he has created drama and WAS cheating. I reminded him when I found out that he told me he didn't believe in cheating and he said he still didn't and I told him that was exactly what he was doing and that it was wrong.

As I stated in my original post, I broke up with him. We are no longer dating and I told her that he had been dating me. I couldn't handle the lying and cheating because I would never be able to trust him. I found out AFTER we broke up about some other lies he told me too. Not about other girls, just other things about himself. I'm getting lots of different opinions on what he is doing, I can't decide either. I don't know if he is trying to make me jealous or if he is trying to hurt me but either way it isn't working. I just can't quite figure him out. I haven't dealt with someone like him before. The one thing I know is he is really mad that I told her the truth but he got what he deserved. If he couldn't handle the consequences then he should have been cheating on her. He should be thankful that I was vague with her and didn't provide many details.

Oops, sorry I missed a crucial word. I meant NOT interested in someone else's boyfriend. Although I thought the rest of my post made that clear but maybe not.

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend after I found out that he had never broken up with his previous girlfriend. She moved to the other side of the country and they rarely see each other. Only twice in the year since she moved. He insisted she wasn't really his girlfriend anymore. To make a long story short, it really bothered me and I wasn't interested in being in that situation with him. I told him how wrong he was and that she deserved to know the truth and I told her. This guys had AGGRESSIVELY persued me for a long time before we started dating and he really liked me ALOT. I was not as interested in him as he was in me. Well after we broke up and I told her he was furious with me. He then kept telling me she was the one he wanted to be with and that he was happy with her. This after he could not stop smiling when he was with me and telling me repeatedly how he had not been that happy in a long time and that he wanted to be with me forever and all sorts of stuff like that. I have to see him from time to time and he keeps throwing her up in my face and I didn't think much about it at 1st because I really didn't care because I was NOT interested in dating someone else's boyfriend but the more I think about it it makes me wonder if he is trying to make me jealous or something.

I count from the day of our first date. I knew my ex-boyfriend for 3 1/2 months before our first date and that is the date he counted from. He actually asked me out 6 weeks before our first date but with holidays and crazy work schedules it took us forever to get together even though we talked daily.

I met a guy at a part time job I took last Fall. He really liked me a lot. Everyone noticed and he wasn't shy about telling me either. I was hesitant about dating him because he is younger than me. Well I agreed to go out and he was so happy that he couldn't stop smiling the entire day. I received text messages and phone calls daily. Emails occasionally. He introduced me to his family. I was still apprehensive for a long time. He talked all the time about our future together. Well eventually I started coming around and everything seemed to be perfect. Then after watching the news one night I decided to check myspace after they talked about it. Didn't have any reason to suspect anything and wasn't expecting to find anything. He had a girlfriend that lived 2000 miles away. She had moved away and they never broke up. I confronted him about it. He swore she wasn't his girlfriend but that she was special to him for helping him thru a very difficult time in his life. He was afraid it would become an issue for me. Well it did become an issue for me because I monitored her page and discovered she was coming to town for the summer. I started treating him differently and he started slowly pulling away from me. I asked him several times if he wanted to stop dating to just tell me but he wouldn't. Well eventually I had enough and contacted the girl. I was actually too vague with her and didn't go into much detail. She did thank me for telling her. I also broke up with him and told him I was telling her. He was furious with me but I didn't care. I felt so much better. He also had told me he had cheated on her with another girl before me too. I didn't tell her that but I should have. Well I had created a myspace account and decided to send him an email to see how and if he would respond and asked if he was single. He didn't know it was me. He said he was taken but wanted to chat with me thru MSN. Interesting for someone who is "taken". We started chatting and the 1st night we chatted I guess he forgot he told me he was "taken" because as soon as we moved it off of myspace where she couldn't see it he suddenly became very single and available and interested in meeting me in person. I described myself to him and gave him lots of little hints that it was me but he didn't pick up on them. He really liked "me" and couldn't wait to meet me and told me I had the qualities he was looking for. After 8 days he eventually figured it out, he was really slow considering the hints I gave him. Now the other girl was due in town in less than a week and he is trying to hook up with someone else. That just told me I was so much better off without him and that he was a liar and a cheater. She doesn't know about this and I am so tempted to tell her but I probably won't. She has no clue of what he is really like. Eventually she is going to get hurt but that is her problem for staying with him after she found out he had another girlfriend here. I have since discovered several other things he had lied to me about.