didi19

Your story really moved me. My live-in boyfriend of 6 years left me very suddenly about 5 months ago and quickly decided to move accross the country. No notice, no one else--just said his feelings changed (huh?). I can understand how hurt you must feel and how bewildering this whole experience must be for you right now. Although I wish I could tell you that in six months you will forget--I can't. The truth is you probably won't but I can promise you that your pain will be a little less and believe me, that will be enough to help you to continue getting up each day and moving forward with your life. Chin up--you must keep strong and remember, you did nothing to deserve to be treated in such a poor and unkind manner. Sending you best wishes!

I think you will probably do what you want regardless of what anyone tells you on this forum. But that's ok because all we can do is try our best at those difficult moments like these. I would highly recommend that you don't see him, if possible. Limiting your contact with your ex is the best advice I didn't follow and am trying to do now. In variably, your meeting will result in some emotional discussions and, more than likely, arguments. You can have all the rational discussions in the world with your ex and trust me, they won't hear you or buy what are probably your very sound arguments. And anything he has to say won't do anything for you either, other than make you upset and linger in your brain for a long time. Believe me, sometimes silence is golden no matter how unnatural it feels.

slightlybent and beec: Although you probably don't think it, your words were so great and exactly what I needed to hear, so thanks! I wish I could hurry along the moving on process (don't we all!). And I hate that I feel so lonely and rejected at times. What awful feelings! But both of you are right--it is time to focus on me without the pressures of taking care of and worrying about another, particularly when that other person just does not care right now. I just hope this funk passes soon!!!

Slightlybent: I know you're right but somedays, even I don't believe that the small parts of me that are improving are enough to keep me going. And sadly, I hate to admit this, but I still long for a person who consistently makes no efforts toward someone who's been in his life for 9 years. Crazy isn't it? I'm a strong, independent person with a good job, home, friends, family, etc. You'd think I'd know better and you'd think I'd have some sense about me to move on and forget about him. But I tell ya, it's like every part of my being resists that action and sometimes, like today, well I just can't believe I'm where I'm at.

I've never posted on a forum like this. Not sure why now but I guess not much of my life is going as planned. My story isn't that different from everyone else on this site. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years. We lived together for 3 and had been planning to marry and have children soon. However, the past 8 months had been difficult for no specific reason. I felt him detaching and would try to communicate with him about it. He would tell me that he was stressed about various things not really related to the relationship. We even went to a couple of counseling sessions about six months ago. During our sessions, he reassured me and our counselor that he was preoccupied with anxiety and stress and was trying to learn how to handle those issues better and that his issues were his own and not about me. Despite those assurances, he continued to detach. About five months ago, he came home one night and suddenly told me that he didn't want our relationship anymore and was planning to move accross the country to a town we often visited during vacations. I was stunned. He gave me little explanation, just saying that his feelings changed and he needed to do what was best for him right now. I felt extremely betrayed and hurt after all those years. He wouldn't entertain the thought of continuing therapy but wanted to continue with a friendship. He has moved out of our home but has not yet moved out of state. I'm devastated, our friends are devastated, my family is shocked, even our counselor says she's shocked. I did all the things you shouldn't (beg, plead, cry, act irrationally) all at first, but have since tried to minimize my contact with him and say very little to anything to him if we happen to talk. I've told him friendship is unrealistic and he says he understands and accepts that we may never speak again. Our friends have been wonderfully supportive to me and repeatedly tell me that he is not acting like himself and that I am the best thing that happened to him. Those are kind words but they don't bring him back and I'm still sad, despite hearing them. I'm sad about losing him and I'm sad to be alone at a point in my life where I had planned to have a family. I could use some words of advice about the healing process and what more I could possibly do to help myself heal. Thanks!

Your story really moved me. My live-in boyfriend of 6 years left me very suddenly about 5 months ago and quickly moved accross the country. Little explanation to me or our friends, no notice, and minimal contact since then except to remind me that he needs to do what is best for him now and that it was a difficult decision (huh?). It hurts beyond belief and I'm still struggling with each day. Although I wish I could tell you that in six months you will forget--I can't. The truth is you probably won't but I can promise you that your pain will be a little less and believe me, that will be enough to help you to continue getting up each day and moving forward with your life. Chin up--you must keep strong and remember, you did nothing to deserve to be treated in such a poor and unkind manner. Sending you best wishes!