ForestFalls

I'm an 18 - almost 19 - year old guy and, although most of my life I did only a very moderate physical activity like dance and light athletics, I had a quite stable body. Yet in the last two years I started doing more cardio, going out more to parties, etc. and probably somewhere I did a mistake and broke the balance that I had... When seen from far, I still look quite proportional, however, when it comes to intimate situations I can't hide my "breasts" (or mounds of fat in the spots where women have breasts?). And also my tummy has become huge! Now, especially these to things: breasts and tummy! How can I reduce them? Before starting to develop muscles, abs, etc. I would really like to get rid of my breasts. Should I regulate a diet? Are there any good sources on internet that are also reliable and aren't those usual programmes that you must pay for? Thank you so much!!

Hi there, thanks for your reply. Yeah, but I'm scared to sound a bit egoistic, and make them feel "useless" towards me - not in material stuff, but in spiritual-personal matters. And as if I "use them only for my material needs". At least, that's the impression they get, I think, when I try to be alone. Don't you think there's a way to overcome this negative incanalation of praise/compliments and transform it into a positive influence?

Call me strange! Call me an unsocial egomaniac! But I think my personality (or my heart, mind, insticts, whatever?) is by nature inclined to take compliments, praise and attention as a negative influence on my personal growth. Very often in the long run. This happens especially in skills, arts, performances... or any other goal that I set in my life! Whenever someone else tries to encourage me or even praises me for what I already am good at, it has negative consequences. One example are my parents and their current attitude towards my studies... All my life long they let me grow alone, let me educate myself by reading books, going out with friends, learning by myself. They never interfered with my life, ideas, experience... well, they sometimes did, but never had any influence on how I wanted to live. When I was 14 years old I failed my grades and had to repeat a year at school. They never did anything about it. They just left me in peace. And I liked it. That also helped me to recognize my interests on my own and, within very little time become the best student of my school with 100% scores and - in these days (me being currently 18) - I also was awarded as the best student ever to graduate from this high school. I don't know what happened to my parents but suddenly they started burdening me with this and that. Praising me. Presents. Compliments. Showing concern about my future studies at university. Asking me "What do you want to study?" as if I was a baby. Maybe it's normal but recently...OMG! They keep calling relatives and family acquaintances telling about how good their child is and keep asking me what I want to do in the future in order to tell them. As if they want to boast about me! As if I was a circus attraction! I think that a normal person wouldn't bother much about this. But when I hear them speaking on the phone, when they suddenly come to me, entering my private life (ok, they're my parents... but still...) and trying to advise me etc... I don't know why - it's not because I'm angry about being praised - it's just: I feel that it's not anymore MYSELF who is doing what I did all this time, I feel as if they decide what I wanted to do... and I loose the whole taste of my own, personal victory. I don't know: maybe I don't want to share my victory with others? No, actually I even celebrated with my friends. But when my parents keep congratulating me for what I achieved... I don't even like my favorite subjects anymore. I loose all interest in going to any university. I don't care about what they want me to become! (although if they hadn't praised me, I'd currently surely be working on applications and SATs without bothering much). But these compliments... simply irritate me! I simply CAN'T do anything when my parents try to even talk with me about it. Another thing that I do quite instinctively is that whenever I have an objective, I NEVER tell it to anyone, not even my closest friends! It often happens that when I tell them before reaching it, I never actually reach the goal that I set. Maybe I'm also scared that if I appreciate the compliments and the personal, human attention too much, I loose my skills - I take my skills for granted! - and then don't develop anymore... well, this is something that happens quite often to me. Drama, music, etc. performances My only solution is to grunt at every compliment and simply step aside...