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Daligal83

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Everything posted by Daligal83

  1. Daligal83
    Well most of our ideas of fun are the same. He may just be going to hang out with some friends, not necessarily out to the bar. It still just sucks that I can't be there. We had a great time at the play and that was actually at his request that we go to it. So it's not really what he's doing I guess..it's more that I can't do whatever it is with him. We unfortunately can't see each other that often. He works all day on Sundays and I don't have a car to get to him. Also, with how much work we have it isn't always possible. Like I was thinking of taking the bus to see him next weekend, but I wouldn't get there until late Friday night, we'd both have to study for most of Saturday, and then he has to work all day sunday. It's not a lot of time. Plus I have my licensure exam coming up (praying I pass) and it's kind of taking over my life, or at least should be haha. Last semseter we saw each other every 2-3 weeks. He came here this past weekend but had to leave early because of weather and I hadn't seen him for a month. I won't see him again until beginning of March, but then we plan on spending about 5 days together becaues of our spring breaks.
  2. Daligal83
    I'm in an LDR too and I know how hard it is. I think the key to them is that you have an plan to eventually be together. Even if it's in 3 or 4 years...at least you're working toward that and it gets you through. I'd go to the university that is right for you. If you go to one you don't like just to be near him...you could end up resenting him.
  3. Daligal83
    Thanks Beec. I think you're right in that some of it has to do with a fear of losing him, which is ridiculous on my part because I know how in love with me he is. Just to clarify though, we are in a long distance relationship. We live about 3 1/2 hours apart and don't get to see each other that often. So it's not an issue of him spending time with them rather than me or reallocating time. It's just that we aren't able to spend that time together. I plan on moving to where he lives (which is where I went to undergrad) after I graduate in April though, so this won't always be a problem for me.
  4. Daligal83
    I seem to have less free time or opportunities to go out than my boyfriend. He doesn't have class on Friday and his program is a lot more social than mine. I always go out at least once a weekend, but that's all I feel I have time for. Even though he works part-time and is in a much harder program, somehow I need to stay in one night a weekend to do work. Even if I didn't though...I don't really get invited out. I'm happy he's having fun and want that for him. The thing is, I get jealous I think. It's not that I don't want him to go out, but I'm jealous that his friends get to have fun with him while I can't. Even when we do get to see each other, we don't always go out like he does with his friends. That's because either we're both at home and it's not as convenient because we have to end up going to our parent's houses or because we plan other things instead. Also, I'm not the big partier type. I usually have one or two drinks when I go out, and sometimes drink more but it's not often. He's not big on it either but he still does it a lot more than I do. Like he was here last weekend and we went to see a play, which was a lot of fun but not the same thing as I'm talking about. I feel like it's not fair that these people get to have all this fun with him and I rarely get that opportunity. I mean we have an amazing time when we're together and it's not an issue that I want to be at a bar. I just don't want him to see his friends as the people in his life that he has fun with and have myself not be included in that category. I'm sure this is all in my head and it's just an issue of being long distance, which will no longer be an issue in a few months. Any advice on how to deal with this? He went out last night and was out late and I went to the gym this morning and had class so I was in bed by 11. Tonight I think he's going out too, but I have to stay in to do work even though I was invited out. Tomorrow night I have plans, which will help...but I just don't want to feel like this anymore.
  5. Daligal83
    Why are you so afraid of him asking you out in person? Even if he does it over facebook..you'll eventually have to hang out with him in person anyway.
  6. Daligal83
    Can you use a kind of reward system? Like say if you get yourself to go 4 days in one week, then you can buy yourself something you want. Start off with a goal like that and as you get more into it, increase the number of days.
  7. Daligal83
    Get someone to go with you. It's the easiest way I've found to make sure I go. Thursdays and Fridays before class my friend and I always go to the gym. Then on the weekends I have another friend that goes at least once and I'll usually go with her. If I'm exercising alone and I back out...no one finds out. But if I'm supposed to go with someone, I consider it a commitment that I have to keep. Then you learn to love exercising and it's easier to do it on your own.
  8. Daligal83
    Hahah good point Thanks for the help!
  9. Daligal83
    So I shouldn't just assume that because he didn't keep those, that he would be grossed out by my wearing my old lingerie? That's good cause I'm cheap and poor hahaha
  10. Daligal83
    I see what you mean by a toy and lingerie being different. Just to clarify though...the toy we were talking about was handcuffs...so it wasn't anything too actively used I guess you would say. I don't know if that makes a difference to anyone though.
  11. Daligal83
    Well I've worn some of it with my boyfriend and he never said anything about it. But over the weekend he mentioned a toy he had used with a previous girlfriend that he had gotten rid of. I asked why he didn't keep it to use again and he said that it would be weird to use it with another girl. That got me thinking that maybe it's weird for him to have me wearing lingerie that I used with another guy. haha, caro I completely understand. I'm the type of girl that can't find a bra small enough for me even in a specialty shop! It's really a problem when it comes to wearing clothes that need more than the ordinary bra. Plus then I don't have any nice bras really because I don't see the point in spending all that money on something that doesn't even really fit me anyway.
  12. Daligal83
    So here's a question for everyone out there. When you start a new relationship, what do you do with your lingerie from your old one? Is it weird to use it again? Should you buy new stuff and get rid of the old?
  13. Daligal83
    It depends...are you truly using that as stress relief or a way to avoid your suitemates? I understand that you are shy and it makes it hard to deal with confrontation, but unforunately it's a fact of life. Take this as a learning experience to figure out how you can stand up for yourself. I bet the therapist would be able to give you some good tips on how to do this in a way that isn't as hard as you think it would be. Those are hard majors! Good for you!
  14. Daligal83
    It sounds like you two have really hit it off! And the fact that she wants you to hang out with her family is definitely a good sign. The only thing I would be wary of is the 3 week thing. Depending on how long she was with her ex, that's not a long time at all. I'm not saying you're a rebound, but depending on why they broke up and how long they were together...that might not be enough time for her to truly move on. She could still have some issues from that relationship that she needs to resolve.
  15. Daligal83
    I don't know where you go to school, but many times they'll encourage you to work out the problems yourself before resorting to a room change. They view it as a life experience. Because you will encounter people like this in your everyday life and you need to learn how to deal with them. I know it sucks. I've had some amazing roommates, and some real crappy ones. Talking to them about why you're upset would not be lowering yourself at all. It's standing up for yourself! You shouldn't have to bend over backwards for these girls, but by standing up for yourself you're practicing being assertive. It's a great skill to have. If you do that and they still ignore you...well that's on their heads. You tried. What are you studying?
  16. Daligal83
    First off, is there anyone you can talk to about not being held responsible for the underage student being there? I think that would be worth fighting against. Second of all...I think you need to talk to your suitmates. Ignoring them is not going to do anything. You could sit each one down separately and explain how you feel that it's unfair for you to get into trouble for their actions and that is why you've been upset. You might also want to address the girl whose conversation you overheard so she knows that you're upset at this as well. I know these conversations aren't fun at all...but nothing will get better if you don't have them.
  17. Daligal83
    I'm not saying it's necessarily worth breaking up over...it depends on the circumstances and the people involved. But aren't you glad that you knew the stituation instead of it happening and you never finding out? I think the OP has to tell his girlfriend what happened if he wants to have a decent relationship with her. I think just HIM knowing what happened would affect the relationship, even if she wasn't told. It's better that she has all the information and knows what he is doing and then they can decide what is the best move for them.
  18. Daligal83
    I'm talking about the OP here when I say this because his situation is different from yours, he is still in a relationship. To me, kissing someone else IS a big deal. When you are in an exclusive relationship, you are trusting your partner not to do that. If they do, that trust is broken. I would want to know if my boyfriend kissed someone else. Yea there's a chance he'd get dumped...but those are the consequences to cheating.
  19. Daligal83
    Could you say something like she's done a great job of raising you so far, so you think that you're ready for some more independence. Say that you think it will work out well because you'll have your own place to take care of and be more responsible for yourself, but you'll still have her nearby for when (not if, when) you'll need her. Plus you'd miss her and the family and would like to come by often still. If you make it about your independence and growing up, I don't think she should take it personally.
  20. Daligal83
    Are there things you've wanted to try but never have? Do your friends have any unique hobbies? I don't know what oulets you've tried yet, but things like knitting, pottery, and painting are great because you can create new things over and over. I knit and it's great because you can learn all these new patterns and things to make, and it's fun every time. Plus then you can make gifts for friends, knit a scarf for that new coat you bought, or donate things to homeless shelters.
  21. Daligal83
    Motivation can be the possibility of losing your girlfriend. It can be the fact that she trusts you and you are betraying that trust. Stop talking to this girl. Avoid situations where you know you'll be around her. If she tries to contact you, tell her that you have a girlfriend and cannot talk to her. Concentrate on your relationship with your girlfriend and make sure it's a good one and that you're being the best boyfriend you can be. I think you know what you have to do, but that you don't want to lose the attention from this other girl.
  22. Daligal83
    It wasn't just one thing you said...if you look at your previous thread, Hope outlined a few things that you said that were extremely hurtful. I think you may be making comments that are more subtle but still very powerful and not realizing it. What do you think about getting counseling?
  23. Daligal83
    Now that I've read your previous thread, I agree with Hope and anggrace. You say that he treats you badly, but how do you think he feels with how you're treating him? You are both egging each other on trying to make the other feel badly. This is not a healthy relationship in anyway. I agree that you both need counseling, even if you don't stay together. Most likely you'll both act this way regardless of who you are with.
  24. Daligal83
    Hun, you are not a failure and you are not useless. You are being a great girlfriend and it is NOT your fault that he acts this way. HE is deciding to treat you this way because of who he is, not because of you. Have you thought of seeing a counselor? I think you could be a lot happier if you learned to love and accept yourself. No other person should make you feel worthless. It's something you need to find within yourself, not someone else.
  25. Daligal83
    While I agree that he is not treating her well at all and that she should probably leave...I don't think he's causing her to cut herself. He's causing the emotional pain that leads to that action...but she is internalizing that pain and that leads to the cutting behavior. I don't want it to sound like I'm blaming her for that action or that I'm defending him, becuase I'm not at all. It's how she's coping and she needs to find healthier ways to do that. But he's not really causing her to cut herself.
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