Jump to content

melly2006

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    20

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by melly2006

  1. melly2006
    Hi everyone Thanks for everyones kind words. I have been doing a lot of thinking. I am not sure what I am going to do but I have told 2 good friends and had a counselling session. I feel alot better. I am getting more and more information as to what is going to happen. I felt lost at first but now I feel in control. His lawyer called and asked if I would consider dropping the no contact condition of his release and I surprised myself by saying NO. I said he needs help. He needs to be in a program before I will even say Hi. The days are hard and nights are lonely but I know it will work out for the best whatever I choose.
  2. melly2006
    I feel so alone. I can't talk to any friends because I dont want anyone to know. My boyfriend of a year lashed out at me a 2 days ago and I had him arrested for assault. I cried as they put him in handcuffs and took him away. We got into an argument and he punched me in the face. He punched me because of something very mean I said to him and when I said it I knew it would anger him. Immediately after he was sorry and crying and threatened to kill himself because he couldnt live with what he had done. He got me ice and had me sit down. I spent the time between calling the police until they arrived keeping him away from the balcony door where he said he would jump off. Now I feel guilt. I know its not my fault what happened but I just want him to get help. He has been told not to contact me by the police as a condition of his release. Now I dont know what to do. I am not allowed to withdraw charges, he hasnt even tried to call me...I know they said he wasnt allowed or he would go to jail but I so desperately want to know what he feels. This is the first time this has ever happened. He has never laid a hand on me..he had a weak moment and needs counselling to manage his anger but I want to give him a second chance. I know I have anger and trust issues to work on as well and have already enrolled in counselling..my first session is tonight. Has anyone been in this situation before?
  3. melly2006
    I think Ripdime is more focussed on the act of looking at porn more than lying and deceit. If you read my original post this is not the first lie he has been caught in in the last 2 weeks. Honesty is always the best way out because eventually you will get caught as I have caught him.
  4. melly2006
    I agree with you carnelianbutterfly. Men seem to think its ok because "everyone is doing it and its all over ads and television". The world is going downhill. I see 12 year olds dressed in nothing having sex and thinking that is normal. And you cannot have a mature relationship by banning someone from a computer. I am not his mother punishing him. Yes its embarrassing but is that worth breaking up over...worth lying about.
  5. melly2006
    Thank you. It is one hundred percent about the lying...although no one is happy when there bf has to look at girls on the internet I understand people do it. Ripdime...you should really re-examing the thought of "and it is normal for any male to do this since its our nature"...using an excuse like that wont get you very far. I didnt realize internet porn was just something in a males nature to look at and ok even if their gf is hurt by it.
  6. melly2006
    I want some advice about others in the same situation. How did you handle the porn if you caught your partner looking at it. I know its ok to be curious but why lie about it. He was trying to say I had a virus and denying it to the end. It was all in the history while I was out of the room and I am telling him this and he is still lying. Is he embarrassed? I have never caught someone doing this and it makes me feel unattractive and I have never thought of myself that way.
  7. melly2006
    Today I caught my now ex bf looking at porn on the computer. I looked in the history and while I was laying down because I was sick he had visited some pretty nasty sites. I asked him if he did it (already knowing it was him) and he lied to my face. This is the 3rd lie from him. The other 2 were about going to a strip club and some girls his friend supposedley invited back to the apartment but nothing happened. I honestly dont think my boyfriend cheated on me but I am not sure what to believe as he is able to lie to me. I told him to get out ... we had a yelling match ... now I am not sure if I should have reacted this way. I gave him a chance to confess and for us to talk about it but he says it wasnt him on the computer. We are the only 2 who live in this house and the times were when I was sleeping. Why wont he own up to it? He left with some stuff to stay at a friends house and I havent heard from him. He asked me why I was ending it and I said because he is a liar and if he would only tell me the truth maybe we could talk. He refuses yet is upset I ended it over this. What should I do? Just forget it or work on it? In my gut I know he hasnt cheated but I cant take the lying. He said he lied b4 because he put himself in some stupid situations and he didnt want to upset me. I feel so lost without him right now. I love him with all my heart but I am feeling like I cant trust.
  8. melly2006
    I am in a serious relationship. Not too much of an age gap however I am 4 years older and my boyfriend is 25 and still going out with the boys partying during the week all the time. I am kind of done with that stage. I think this is a common issue whether there is an age difference or not. How do you girls deal with it? MEn...how come you need to go out so much? ANd should I trust him. I do but I dont like this excessive drinking and partying he feels he needs to do all the time. HELP!!!
  9. melly2006
    I know I need to talk to him about it....I havent even returned his call from yesterday or his msn. I just dont want to bring it up over the phone when he isnt coming back until tomorrow and I dont want to risk getting mad or being short with him over the phone (which I know will happen!)....Love is hard and it is hard to trust someone after being hurt so many times in the past...
  10. melly2006
    His roomate is in a serious relationship so I know that isnt it ... and my bf did say to me before that I should meet her because she is a cool girl yet he isnt inviting me out. I really am not comfortable with it at all and it is making me imagine every possible scenario (all not good!)
  11. melly2006
    I have been with my bf for 2 months. He has told me he loves me, I have met his family and was even invited to his hometown this long weekend (but I declined). Everything is great until this past Thursday night. He goes out for some beers after work with 2 girls from work who I dont know. He calls me at about 7 to tell me he will be home in a bit....no big deal so far....then he gets home at 9 and calls me. We are sitting in his house when the girl calls him at home. I hear him say "oh yeah I am hard to find on directory assistance"...so I assume he didnt give his number and she looked him up. Then we are sitting watching tv with his roomate and I get up for a second to come back to the end of a conversation about him inviting his roomate out next friday with her to go drinking ..... now if she is just a friend why is he hiding his plans and not inviting me and what is she doing calling my boyfriend at home. It could be innocent and I dont want to ruin what we have over me being jealous but I also believe you need to trust your instinct. If he loves me and wants me to be his one and only I dont think going out with girls I dont know on Friday nights without me is acceptable. HELP. How do I bring this up to him without sounding like a super jealous girlfriend! Thanks all for reading.
  12. melly2006
    I recently went through a break up with someone I had been with for over a year. To make a long story short…he ended it, then he wanted to get back together and salvage our relationship and I decided not to. I posted about this under "Breaking Up". I met someone who I met while dating my ex. He asked me out, I told him I had a boyfriend but we emailed a few times back and forth (just as friends). Now a month later after my break up I called him. We have been seeing each other ever since for about a month. I am scared to open up my heart again. Also I don't know what he expects from me. He is so open about his feelings saying he knew the moment he saw me that he had to know me. He has said he starts to miss me when we don't see each other in a day. I have met his friends and his roommates and his mom knows about me. Now part 2….he lives in my building. I am worried that we slept together too soon and that now it is just a convenience. But also I am paranoid and scared to trust and open up. I don't want to get hurt. He says how much he likes me all the time and I want to say it back but I cant. The words don't come out and when they do I think he feels I am just saying the words but don't mean it. Also I don't want to scare him off. I like him so much, I have never felt this comfortable with someone and I feel like I have known him all my life. How do I get past not wanting to get hurt again? Any advice and insight would be great.
  13. melly2006
    Thanks to everyones words. This site really helps. I mean without it I probably would have called him and cried an hour after he left me. It helps I have great friends who support and love me and if I feel like reaching for the phone or email I talk to them and they talk sense into me. Ultimately it is my decision and my heart I have to follow but it is so nice to know I am not alone and that this is something that happens in life and we can take some good lessons away from it. Oh....BTW...havent emailed him yet. I am not playing games I just dont know what or how to say anything to him yet!
  14. melly2006
    Well we didnt break up over anything in particular. Just have been arguing a lot lately during the week. I work full time and a class twice a week so we dont see each other as much lately. On the weekends it is great but come Monday we would argue over the dumbest things. So he just said he loves me so much and is so confused and doesnt know how to fix things. In his email tonight he apologized for saying hurtful things the past couple of months (he just has been a little short tempered lately). So we said we still loved each other and held each other and cried for 2 hours then he left.....it is the most confusing break up of my entire life. I didnt email him back and not sure if I will quite yet with all the emotions I have inside. Dont want to say anything while being upset and hurt.
  15. melly2006
    I recently posted a message called "My first civil breakup". I followed the no contact rule (we just broke up Sunday). He hasnt been to work in 2 days (we work in the same building)....he broke it off with me now he sends me an email 2 days later saying how he doesnt know what to do and he thinks we need time to grow and think and that I mean the world to him. Mixed signals? Or should I just take this as his final words to me. He says I can call him and he will do anything I need from him (a ride somewhere, someone to bring me soup when I am sick). He says he has been thinking about me non stop , hasnt left his house so he could think alone etc. I am so confused I mean I love him so much but I dont know what the purpose of the email was. Help please. I thought I Was doing good and this made me break down and cry.
  16. melly2006
    It is funny that we all know give it time but its so hard. Every night for a year I have been told "I love you, sweet dreams" and now I cant even say hi or I miss you. It's killing me. And I know he was upset he didnt go to work (I know this because someone asked me where he was not cause I was checking up on him!). If he is so upset and sad and loves me how come we need this time apart. Well officially we are broken up. He didnt even say I dont want to be with you he just said I am so sorry I dont know how to fix it. So confused. Thanks for listening and posting replies!
  17. melly2006
    Last night I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year. We had been fighting a lot but over stupid stuff (each having insecurities and trying to understand each other). Yesterday we spent the day together agreeing we needed to talk. We had a great day. Went shopping and then watched movies on the couch while cuddling. Then we knew it was time to talk. We cried and held each other and kissed and said how much we loved each other. He cried and said he loves me and wants to be happy but doesnt know how to fix how much we argue. I decided it was worth fixing and he decided he just didnt know what to do to fix it and thinks he tried what he could. Then he cried some more and held me and said he wishes he could make it better. We really love each other. I was physically sick when he left thinking this cant be it. How can 2 people who still love each other not be together. Nothing terrible happened, no cheating or anything like that. Today has been hard. I am used to him being the first person to talk to in the morning and the one who tells me he loves me when he goes to bed. I dont know what to do. Just give it time?
×
×
  • Create New...