1babylove

I am the same way. I have a huge fear that something will happen to my 7 year old. That is why he is a great swimmer, has a cell phone, and rides in a hefty carseat. I have to really concentrate when watching stuff on TV to not burst out in tears. Especiallly if its something traumatic to a family or animals. My partner travels 75% of the time, my son ggets to crawl into my bed if he wakes up. We have a plan in case someone comes into our house i.e. hiding places, cell phone locations, and neighbors that I trust for him to go to. I have mace located in various places in the house.....wow...I sound paranoid! But as long as the worrying doesn't have any negative affects on you or your childs life I think its normal.

I am their book keeper. I know what is coming in and going out of both business as well as what loans and such they have going. They own their house, condos, and the building we are in. They can give me more money but I haven't figured out why I still make so little. I am the only other employee that knows everything about the company because I handle all of the financials. My job right now is to also expand to other markets like trade shows and online ecommerce. When I did give my notice of moving permanently to part time I brought up job security and as always, I was told that my job is the most secure because I have all of the internet stuff to do even if business slows I'll have a ton to do. But i think you are right. I will have to quit. I just dread it.

I think legally the employer has to pay you ever 35 days unless you have a contract with them stating otherwise. So no small claims or anyone else will touch it unless it is past that time period. Sorry.

I work for what I thought was a really great small company. The job is as full time and as flexible as I want it to be. I am an Office Manager, I am currently finishing my degree in Economics and I have a busy life with my son and my partner who travels 75% of the time consulting. However, the job is in Oregon and pays only $2 above minimum wage so I'm making $9.50/ hour. Running copies, A/P, A/R, ordering supplies, Quickbooks, payroll, Processing Quotes, and Pricing....and alas I'm now the web master. Yet my pay stays the same! My 90 day review was 2 weeks ago and guess what?!? No review. Nearly two week ago, I was offered another job making more money but it is part time. Upon breaking the news to my current employer I let them know I could be around to finish up the web work, I am currently developing their online catalog, I have the websites up and going for the business and their condos. Essentially, be at this job as long as they needed me. As a student I have a ton of 3-6 month stints in jobs but would like to stay in a job longer. Right now, I have 2 classes so working 2 jobs is great. I work in the morning for this job and in the afternoon I work for a job that is actually a real job with benefits even working part time. I want to stay with both jobs but I feel like I am not valued because after 3 months of being their best Office Manager I am still only making $9.50/ hour. Yes, I have spoken up. We were supposed to have a meeting about my job today. This would be a perfect opportunity to have a review and to also discuss my job description. Alas, this to didn't happen because only 1 of 2 bosses is in and this is the case until Wednesday. I am at a complete loss, I really like the people and job but I resent it at the same time because I am not valued. I should mention that everyone except two of us are now making $11.00 raise. Most people received a $1.50 raise LAST pay period. The only other person that didn't get a raise has been there for over 3 years and she is already making $11/hour. **Two weeks ago when I was giving notice to move my job to super part time one of my bosses said that they could match the $12/hour that I am making in my new job.** I process payroll on Wednesday, If I have not receive my raise, I want to go. But how do I do that without burning my bridges? Any suggestions or thoughts to any of this would be great. Thank you for reading. **Anxious in Oregon**

Well I applaud you standing up and admitting that you were wrong. How to fix it. The relationship needs counseling. There are I am sure a ton of reasons and excuses on why and how far it got. But if you truly want to fix it you will initiate counseling.

Personally, I don't approve of porn watching. I see it as there is something wrong with me or the sexual relationship. Especially if we've made porn. I am an adventurous women. I've done everything in bed with this lover. I don't see what the tempation is? Why? I hear its visual. But what about respect for you lover? Why do something that you know will hurt them, knock them down a few notches, and why do it if you have really good home porn? I'll never understand this. I will never get why men do it. I try, I really do...its just a different way of thinking and believing. I just, believe this: I am a bit of a Taoist, and I believe that if you are in a loving, sexual relationship with someone, you outta be saving all, or at least the lion's share, of your sexual energy for your partner.

I hate myspace for my current bf using it for a prowling site to connect with othere women. But I also love it because I have found long lost friends from college and highschool. Its the partner not the site.

I agree with everyone. This girl is trouble. If you love your girl and you respect your relationship you won't continue to tempt yourself. Ambrosia isn't your friend otherwise she wouldn't be behaving the way that she is. You need to cut all ties with her. If you don't want to do that. Its only fair that you let your girl know that things are great with the relationship.

I completely understand what you are talking about. I find these memories happen with trigger words, pictures, memories...Its really hard. I've vented to Justin about it and all that he can do is sit there and finally be supportive. This is Day 6 for me, with finding out the infidelity. Last night was the first night that I wasn't up until the wee hours thinking about it. I know that I want to move forward and me constantly dwelling on it, its my nature to analyze everything, isn't helping. I know that we cannot find happiness until I work past it. And when I am having my moments, of hurt and pain, I just have to remember that this isn't happening. They are only ever just a flash of time. You will never forget this. But you can forgive. I look back on the stuff in the past. Phone sex and sex with other women....and it doesn't even stir up feelings because I've moved past that, I've forgiven that. Its just hard. There isn't a definite answer for any relationship issue. I wish there was I wish it was black and white. It would make my life easier. Advice: Just work through it. Let her know when you feel this way, share your pain, get the support you need from her, let her know that you love her. Its a grieving process. There are tons of questions why, how, when, what...none of it can be truly answered. There are stages in grieving. Anger, hurt, denial....is all part of it. Eventually, you will make it through this. For me...I am reaching out. This is a ton of help. I am sad to hear that so many people have the same problem but it is nice to have the support. We are all here for you. Stay strong, positive. Yes!!! Faith is so important....start with yourself. You go to school right? See a counselor. I know at my university they offered so many hours for free and it is so nice to sit and not be judged to get really good guidance and advice.

gingertea, What I meant about taking my responsibility: In a relationship, one has to be aware of their part in the bad or good. Though I take no responsibility for his behavior, I know its confusing. I am not trying to defend what has been done but trying to understand what I could do different. How can I promote a secure and safe feeling communication. An openness...I am very head strong and independent. I jump before I think as well as react. Its a growing process. I try to go into everything and try to find a good. How can I make this a positive? Promote a a healthy relationship with the man that I absolutely adore. Give him a chance to see that there is a woman out there that doesn't reject him for looks or for anything. I fell in love. Regardless of outside circumstances..I fell in love and I am devoted to making this work. I understand that there may come a time where I may have to accept defeat...I am really competitive...but I also have faith in people and within myself and hopefully we can rise above all of this.

I have to agree. Let the actions speak for themselves. I have been in a two year relationship with a man that is 5 years older than me. He has continued over the course of the relationship to behave immaturely. Instead of addressing his own issues or feelings. He acts out by seeking the attention and the acceptance of other women, all based on lies. I have forgiven him for these actions in the past. Its been a continuous battle. But my love for him and our lives out weigh the hurt. I am naturally a curious person and I pry. Over the course of the relationship I've changed a ton due ot his actions and the effects they have. The "reasons" why he does what he does is always my fault. I recently found his "single" link removed page and a good "friend",his ex, pointed out that he also had another yahoo account that is single. He has had it since after we started dating... You see there is tons of deception and lies. I am coming to terms with it and accepting my part of the responsibility. Essentially what I am saying is I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance to be that true and loving person that I fell in love with. Good luck with building the trust. It is hard and a long road. I am just beginning it again. Every day it gets better. Everyday that I am able to know that he is there and be supportive it gets better. The hurt is still there as well as the anger...its a grieving process. Just understand that. You lost something dear to you, trust. Its hard to build and its hard to replace. Just remember that everyone processes deception, hurt, and lies differently. We can provide guidance but you can only know what will work for your relationship.

Okay...of course all good advice. One thing that absolutely grosses me out is when there is too much saliva. Make you sure you swallow first. Then just relax, not forceful. Mold your mouth the theirs. and just enjoy!!! It'll take you breath away!

It seems very immature to set a goal or number for the amount of girsl you want to kiss. As for advice on how to achieve this goal??? I am not sure where to start. Except: start partying

I like it. Its definitely a compliment and a huge sexual turn on. I've been in this relationship for almost 2 years....I guess I still have the magic!!!

People have many reasons to just have sex. I am a very romantic person when I am in a relationship. When I wasn't, when I was developing who I am and what I wanted. I just did it for the sex, for the orgasm. For the fun and thrill of it. It was fun but I found out over time that I wanted more and I missing out on real intimacy. I was lucky to find it. Even if he takes it for granted.

I don't think the number of past lovers a partner has had matters. My current lover has had about I think its 3-4 dozen lovers, and I am some where in that range of past lovers. For three years I was single, partying and going to school. I was never worried about contracting any STI's because I was as safely protected. Plus with free healthcare as a student I was frequently tested and responsible about my sexual health. Sure I took risks with having so many lovers but I also made sure that it was safe and that I stayed healthy. This current lover and I went and got tested for everything early on in our relationship. Being open and honest about sexual history is very important. Being with someone and judging them based on their sexual past to me is repulsive. People change and grow and being turned off by something that started and may have ended years ago isn't something that should be a judge of character. Sure I had a ton of lovers but before I met my current one I was completely sex free for over six months because I decided I wanted a relationship with long term potential. To me it doesn't matter. Regardles of the amount of lovers, they are the past. Its when the relationship with that exlover is too close that worries me. But I understand that people have pasts and I live in a small area and frequently see past lovers around town and neither one of us cares who was who and when.

While a bit of spice is nice... I have to agree. A little spice is nice from each other. I have had past lovers that were into different things. Its great to have fun but also having moments of slow passionate intimacy helps keep the relationship alive.

Thank you for your reply. I do need to mention. That I am currently updated on his yahoo messenger account with his password. He is also wanting to participate in counseling. All of the infidelity accounts, emails, messenger, pages...have been deleted. I just don't know what risk to take. Leave or try, again.

James, I am sorry that you feel so lost and lonely. I too have moments of depression. I've at one point in my life had to have my stomach pumped because I tried to overdose. No one is worth it. truly, you are worth so much more. You mentioned studies, at a university? Having recently graduated and worked on campuses, there are outlets. You came here for help. Now the next step is to go there. To not only reach out here but reach out to the resources right in front of you. Pleas feel free to contact me. I really would like to talk to you more about your thoughts. The world would be a loss if you were to do act on your thoughts.

I have been dating a man for almost 2 years. I am single mom and graduated from the Univeristy during that time. The relationship began at the beginning of the summer and during that first couple of weeks, he slept with someone else. Needless to say he has continued for these past two years prowling online and has even gone to the extent of a date and kissing. I am a very forgiving person. I believe that God does not give more than we can deal with. Throughout this relationship I have found out numerous times about these types of relationships are ongoing. The online infidelity. I have been comitted to this man to a fault. I defend him from others, essentially I am devoted to him and our relationship. Three weeks ago he picked up the girl that cut his hair. This past weekend I found his link removed page. Nothing on that was real. I am not existent in his life. Except the weekends. I live 40 miles away in a house with my son. We were planning on moving in together this February. After January 11th, he has come to the realization that he wants to walk away from everything that is not true. That he wants to work on our relationship. These past few weeks have been amazing. My fear is that the minute anything goes wrong he will revert back to this behavior. He is also a traveling consultant and during arguments has expressed wanting to be alone so he can sleep with whoever is at the hotel bar. I am completely devestated. I have contacted everyone that I can, even his so called "friends" from online. Everyone says he is a liar. His good friends that know we are together just issue the same thing. TRUST. I am at a loss. After forgiving and trying desperately to move past the past infidelities to be slapped with new ones that have been ongoing. I am so hurt and betrayed. I am obsessing over this relationship and the relationships that he has with other people. Everyone I know says leave. But if I decide to stay what steps do I take to ensure that this relationship can be built on a foundation of trust and honesty. I am lost. I thought that this man was a God send. But I was never really found. Thanks for reading and for any advice.