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Everything posted by CluelessGuy321

  1. So.....I just had a nice talk with my friend's girlfriend who tells me that the first things the girl looks at when she sees a guy is: His watch and his shoes. From there she starts deducing his style. I told her that when I see a female, I don't really look at what she's wearing. Rather, I focus on how attractive her face is and then how attractive her figure is. She tells me that it's different with women - that women will observe a guy's attire and style more than his figure. She thinks that having nice pecs are grand and all, but it's clothing attire and style that do it for her. Is this a similar thing for other women? Or would one deduce that she comes off as materialistic? Be honest now ladies - how much does a man's attire affect his initial attractiveness?
  2. Welcome to the internet. I am not trying to be condesending or anything, but I've met a lot of guys on the internet that act like this. I find it amusing, but only because I'm another guy who's looking at the interaction without any consequences to myself, but I know it's not amusing for you. It's just that I've run into so many people like that guy you decribed on message boards, online games, etc. I don't know what some people act like that, but you can't let it get to you. People are weird.
  3. I usually find comfort in being alone and away. I dunno if your budget and time permits, but some traveling may be in order. I got a fountain pen, a journal, and a camera and jet set.
  4. I'm sorry to hear about your past experience with intolerance. If that was my wife, I would have verbally back handed her. But it seems your friend didn't have much of a spine. Also, off topic, but how did you hurt yourself? What did you injure? I ask because 3 months ago, I hurt my right knee while hiking. I lost my ACL and will be undergoing reconstructive surgery. I'm going to have a long rehab and I want to prevent arthritis.
  5. This topic has not yet gone off track, and I am steering it that way. Please give me some credit. As for "moderators shouldn't even allow these threads in the first place", why not? Public perception, upbringing, and media have a LOT to do with attraction as well as how certain groups and individuals percieve themselves and their self-esteem. Why can't I post and receive people's inputs? Using the example posts I posted at the start of this thread, those comments that some users have made do get me to thinking - "why?" We could remain silent but what would that accomplish? Offline, when I pose these questions to friends and whatnot, I am not able to get the picture from every angle. Some groups of friends don't like to discuss it, while other groups really get into detail and talk about their perceptions. And I'm getting good input and viewpoints from some posters right now, so please don't close this thread unless it goes way off course. I'm not bringing religion into this. I'm talking about initial attraction. Unless you can tell someone is your religion by looking at them. I don't even know what religion you are or how you know Asian people aren't of that religion. Unless you're Amish, I don't know what religion you could be referring to. If anything that would go more towards cultural differences. I am speaking as an American born citizen of Asian decent. I'm not pulling the "race card" here, but am trying to have a civil discussion on race, media, and how it pertains to and effects some people's subconscious view of what is attractive/attraction. I'm not singling ANYONE or any race out. I don't think anyone here should feel guilty if they like or prefer what they prefer. I am simply trying to gauge out reasons and countermeasures I may be able to take. And please - unless you see something blatently offensive, stop posting how you think this thread can be offensive just because you're cluttering up my topic. I'm bringing up a freaking topic that is in the back of a lot of people's minds but no one wants to talk about it in person, but that's the beauty of these online discussion forums, and it's what I'm looking for - constructive feedback. Thank you.
  6. Bang your head on a table in front of her or something at most. Don't go pouring stuff on her or smacking her. That's just bad form, ol' chap.
  7. OR you could go the denial route and just pretend that you didn't think you offended anyone, and next time you see K, just tell her she looks gay and chipper. Use the word "gay" a lot in it's old meaning. Examples: "Oh Frank, you are so gay and dandy!" "I feel so gay and giddy today." "I like Marvin Gaye"
  8. No way. I do not think guys operate in this way AT ALL. At least I don't. I do suspect women do though - ie. a LOT of men tell me it's hard to meet women UNTIL they get a girlfriend, then women come at them left and right. And I have heard from women that whatever a guy looks like, their interest is oerked if he has an attractive girlfriend, because the men may have some mysterious quality that they want to find out about.
  9. Write a hand written letter of apology on a card and maybe some some flowers. Then promise yourself to never resort to that again. I don't think a man (or ideally anyone) should ever have to resort to physical violence of any degree when dealing with a friend (especially one of the opposite sex).
  10. Unemployment checks should have a change of address form on them acctually. If this continues, he's probably doing it on purpose.
  11. I completely agree. And really, what is Valentine's except for a contrived holiday made up by candy sellers, greeting card makers, and big corporations dealing with roses and treats. I also think that it's sweet that you and your girlfriend simply express yourselves in different ways. Could you post a picture of you and your girlfriend hugging?
  12. I think I'm huge and I can out race any cop >: | (j/k on 2nd one). I completely agree. Yeah. That does phase me. Passively, I don't see race. I just see a guy. Me. But when out and about, people's perceptions do vary about me. I just don't like a lot of the thoughts/perceptions I think. And from the posts I references in the my 1st post, I think it's a glaring issue to me. I don't want to meet that great girl only to be friend-zoned because of race. I would refuse to even be friends at that point, because I'd just be too hurt and insulted. And it has happened and I guess I may be bitter about the whole experience... Maybe I just need to leave the country for a few years. Get a more worldly view on things. I don't know.
  13. I agree, and I am focusing more on quantity than quality. It is just something that irritates me. I percieve it as...inequality. Not in a way that it is intended, but that people have grown up and have been swayed by certain qualities of attraction based upon nothing more than race. Of course I am generalizing as I cannot pick up every single specific event. And though I would agree with subtle body language, I would not use that as the reason in this case as my friend cannot attract the women he likes that easily, but gets the attention of Asian women very easily. He believes that part of that may be because he's not attracted, so he's pretty easy going with them because he doesn't want anything to do with them relationship wise. Maybe. But that wouldn't explain why for every 1 wink on link removed he gets from a white girl, he gets flooded with Asian girls trying the wink. As for the Asian men being looked down upon - it is so in the media though it seems to be slightly changing somewhat. There is a very good site dedicated to this disparity in the media: link removed. Now I do NOT want to focus on race here and playing the victim card in anyway. I just want to learn how to gain the power to break through these stigmas that I and other people do have. It may just be that I can only change the way people think, 1 person @ a time.
  14. There seems to be a huge difference in how Asian guys are treated and viewed as opposed to other guys in the United States, and I'm trying to find some sort of way around this. My example: A good friend of mine is always having trouble finding girls he's interested in. He is white and he's generally attracted to white girls. The problem is he gets hit on ALL the time by Asian women - while walking to class, in class, at parties, and he set up a match.com profile and gets flood with tons of flirts from Asian women. He's just not interest in Asian women though. Now, my problem is: I've been raised in the United States. I've grown up with the notion that I'm an American guy. But...many times I don't think people see me on an equal footing as my white counterparts. In terms of relationships, I don't really have a preferred race when dating. My parents have been working in an inner city Los Angeles county hospital for over 20 years, and have seen it all. As long as the girl is respectable, they got no problems. This doesn't seem to be the case around here in Southern CA in many cases. My caucasian friend has the same personality as me and has the same taste in clothing (we shop together). He's annoyed that it's hard for him to get into a relationship with an attractive caucasian girl, while I'm annoyed that Asian women have been throwing themselves to him (even though he has no interest). I have NO problems with inter-racial couples either, mind you. It's just when the women seem to throw themselves to a guy mainly based heavily on his race, that kinda irritates me. What is an attraction like that based on? Having a "status symbol"? I've read an article about race and attraction too. The article stated that Asian men and Black women seem to have the most trouble when it comes to dating/relationships in the USA. They go on to explain the images of both race&gender's portrayal in the media, and how it contributes to how we are percieved - Black women with a domineering low-class attitude and Asian men with no sexual prowess or backbone. And so, it comes down to me. How do I break through this stigma? How do I illicit attraction, when I've grown in up in a society that sometimes seems to slam down my worth as a man? I feel betrayed sometimes by the society I grew up in. I dunno though. Maybe my thinking is a bit distorted right now....but when I read and hear things like the following posts: I sometimes just get to thinkin'. The idea that if one day I, say, meet a lady who I'm attracted to and she or her family likes everything about me except my ethnicity, would get me a bit downed. Just some observations of mine though. I don't like talking about this stuff with other people in real life. Most of my white friends don't like to talk about things in terms of race and things percieved from this angle, and I understand that too. I don't think this is an individual thing. It seems to be representation in mass media and upbringing.
  15. no, this lady has an anger issue. It's pretty bad when she's doing property damage. It's a step below acctual physical damage. She really needs professional help, and I hope she is currently seeking it. I don't know what she's going through, but her actions are not acceptable nor are they healthy in any way. She needs professional help.
  16. Watch how you land though. Don't go tearing your ACL
  17. Yeah.....WE'RE the confused ones... ;-)
  18. Sure it's a sign of maturity. So what? This guy thinks he can't get a girl because he still lives with his parents - he can. It's skill and numbers. I've seen a few guys who pull it off easily. Me? I've got my own brand new decently furnished house in Irvine, nice clothing, fairly wealthy, and I can't land many dates. I got no skills. I'm the most pathetic 25 year old I know....when it comes to the ladies With or without parents, with/without a cool car, with/without bling bling, it doesn't matter.
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